


Love Wins! Except When It Doesn't

by Noodle_Oodle



Category: Chinese Actor RPF, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) RPF
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Chinese Idol, Chinese entertainment industry, Drama & Romance, Established Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, Fandom Culture, Heartache, Just because its legal doesn't make it accepted, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Marriage legalization, Same-Sex Marriage, Wangxiao - Freeform, Yizhan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:29:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 48,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29685393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noodle_Oodle/pseuds/Noodle_Oodle
Summary: After nine years of denying and hiding their relationship from the world, same-sex marriage is finally legalized in China. Despite the fact that they have successfully managed to convince everyone that they no longer hold any kind of relationship with each other - friendship or otherwise - Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo decide that its time they stopped hiding. Everyone around them tries to prepare them for the fallout of their decision, but is anyone really prepared for absolute and total ruination? Yibo and Xiao Zhan thought they were ready, but maybe they were wrong.
Relationships: Wang Yi Bo & Xiao Zhan, Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan, Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan | Sean
Comments: 237
Kudos: 226





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Although I'm an avid reader of RPF, I always said I would never write it myself. I have been waiting and waiting for someone to write this story and eventually decided to have a crack at it myself. Lord help me.

Xiao Zhan: _How far away are you? Everyone is here and I don’t know how much longer I can hold them off for. They’re all puttering around like concerned mother hens._

Yibo looked down at his phone and snorted. Of course they were. Over the years, the only times that Xiao Zhan and his own management teams had ever needed to meet for anything usually indicated a crisis. Except for Christmas, they always tried to get everyone together for Christmas and that was usually quite an enjoyable affair. 

Yibo: _I’m in the parking garage. There was traffic and you told me I’m not allowed to weave between lanes anymore so it took me quite a while to get here._

Xiao Zhan: _You’ve had too many accidents on that bike._

Yibo rolled his eyes. He knew exactly where this conversation was headed if he allowed it to continue. 

Yibo: _I’ll be upstairs in five minutes. Tell the mother hens to sit and stop clucking. Everything is going to be fine._

He pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth as he made his way to the elevator. Truth be told, despite the words that Wang Yibo just typed out to his boyfriend, he wasn’t entirely sure he was speaking truths. He wasn’t _totally_ sure that what they were about to do was going to be fine, but they couldn’t keep living like this anymore, not when they didn’t have to. 

Yibo breezed into the reception of Xiao Zhan Studio and nodded at the girl behind the counter. Yibo was here often enough that he recognized her face, but not often enough that he had ever really taken the time to memorize her name, much to Xiao Zhan’s annoyance. 

The receptionist smiled at him politely, but he didn't stop for further interaction. There was no need. He knew which conference room everyone was in and he knew they were waiting. Yibo himself had waited way too long for this day to arrive. Wang Yibo was utterly tired of waiting. It was time to get this show on the road, one way or another. 

Yibo walked into the conference room and found his manager Liling, and his publicist Jia sitting on one side of the square table. Xiao Zhan’s manager XueXue and his publicist Juan were sitting on the other side of the table. Xiao Zhan himself was sitting alone on a third side of the square table, an empty chair next to him. Yibo smiled at everyone in the room, bowing politely before making his way over to Xiao Zhan. 

They both considered everyone in this room to be their protection crew. They had all sat in a room very much like this nearly eight years ago when Yibo and Xiao Zhan had decided they didn’t want to live without each other. Both of their idol careers were spiraling quickly and their fame escalating far faster than either of them knew how to deal with. While they didn’t know much back then, both of them had enough sense to understand that disclosing a relationship of any kind at that time, let alone a gay one, was career suicide. So they did the only thing they could think of. They took a leap of faith, huddled their management together - just like they were doing now - and came clean. 

_“Wang Yibo, you’re an idol!” admonished Jia._

_“I’m also a human,” Yibo reminded her. “Actually, I'm a human first”._

_“Human or not, you can’t be_ **_this_ ** _human. Not if you want to keep being this version of Wang Yibo,” Jia scolded._

_“That’s ridiculous,” Yibo had said, pulling his eyes together in confusion. “What other version of Wang Yibo would I be? I’m me. This is me”._

_Yibo heard the distinct sound of Xiao Zhan’s strangled inhale and exhale beside him._

_“Yibo,” said Xiao Zhan softly and patiently. He slid his hand over Yibo’s, which was tapping on the tabletop. “She means you can’t have it all. You can’t keep your life and have me at the same time”._

_Yibo snorted. “Bullshit. Watch me. Watch_ **_us_ ** _,” he said, turning to level his eyes at their respective teams._

_Xiao Zhan retracted his hand._

_It was XueXue that had spoken next. “You can’t appear on television to be gay. It is literally not allowed”._

_Yibo rolled his eyes. “Those are technicalities. It’s not like we’re about to go and make a documentary about our relationship and ask Tencent to broadcast it”._

_Though, Yibo spared a moment for just how rich that sounded coming from him considering the way they had both shamelessly behaved on camera on the set of The Untamed. Still, plausible deniability was plausible deniability. They never once crossed censorship guidelines._

_XueXue sighed and rubbed her forehead. “What about variety appearances, award shows, red carpets? This industry is too small for you to literally never show up in the same place again”._

_“Not to mention,” said Liling. “You have a no dating clause in your contract, Yibo. The public is never allowed to think you’re in a relationship”._

_Yibo heard Xiao Zhan clear his throat and Yibo turned to look at him. He could see the strain in his eyes. Xiao Zhan was stressed._

_“That’s the point,” said Xiao Zhan. “We’re not here because we want you to make a statement that we are together, god no. We’re here because we want you to know that we are together and we want your help making sure that information never gets out into the hands of our fandoms or the media. We want to keep this a secret. We want to protect it and we know we can’t do this without all of you”._

Despite their objections, everyone seemed to understand that Yibo and Xiao Zhan did really love each other, and they were better off trying to help rather than trying to get in their way. 

The flashback played through Yibo’s mind as he dragged his hand through Xiao Zhan’s hair in a greeting. It wasn’t like Yibo and his boyfriend ever engaged in mass public displays of affection in front of these people, but they had been around them enough by now that they were used to them touching. No one even batted an eyelid as Yibo’s hand lovingly caressed the back of Xiao Zhan’s head. Xiao Zhan leaned into it for a moment and looked up at Yibo, shooting him a small smile. 

“Okay Yibo,” said Jia, leveling her don’t-you-pull-any-bullshit-with-me eyes at him. “What is this all about?”

Yibo turned to Xiao Zhan. “Do you want to do the honors, or should I?”

Xiao Zhan rubbed his forehead gingerly and waved Yibo on. Ok then. 

Yibo leveled his eyes at the four individuals sitting in front of him. He picked up Xiao Zhan’s hand and threaded their fingers together, though he doesn’t take his eyes off the others in the room. 

“Xiao Zhan and I are engaged. We are getting married”. 

Yibo wasn’t sure if all the oxygen just left his own lungs, or if it left the room entirely, but a deathly silence descended on the group and no one, not even Xiao Zhan, seemed to be breathing. Xiao Zhan’s palm began sweating under his grasp.

Yibo almost wondered if they'd even heard him. 

After what seemed like an eternity, Jia erupted into fits of loud, cackling laughter. No one else seemed to join her disposition. 

“Good one, Yibo. When did you get so funny?” laughed Jia. 

Yibo wasn’t laughing. 

“It’s not a joke,” he said, picking up Xiao Zhan and Yibo’s hands to flash their rings at her. 

Her face paled. “Oh my god, Xiao Zhan were you hiding your hand when you came in here? How did I not notice something like a _goddamn_ engagement ring on your damn finger?”

“Xiao Zhan,” interrupted Juanjuan in his soft, placid voice. He raised his eyebrows asking for confirmation. 

Xiao Zhan nodded. “It’s true”. 

It pained Yibo just a little to see how hard it was for Xiao Zhan to say those words. The wedding had been his idea, after all. 

“Take those off right now,” screeched Jia. “What are you thinking? You can’t be seen wearing engagement rings? As far as China knows, you’re both celibate monks who date no one and don’t even like each other anymore”. 

“That’s why we’re here,” said Xiao Zhan calmly. “We need your help, obviously. People are going to notice if we get married and we need help dealing with the media and the fans”. 

“Gentlemen,” said XueXue, taking a deeping breath. “Same sex marriage has only been legal in China for two months. _Two months_. The media laws preventing any kind of homosexuality or depiction thereof are not lifted until Friday. And even then, the replacement laws are still censored to a degree”. 

“People have come out already,” quipped Yibo, somewhat miffed. 

“D and C list celebrities that aren’t _you two_ ”. 

“We’re both working far less since we left our idol companies and started our own studios. It’s not like we are living quite the same life,” said Yibo, trying to come up with some kind of business rationale that she might understand. Something other than _I love him okay!_ Because everyone in this room already knew that. 

“Yibo, you’re not that naive. Yes, you have much more control over your career now and you’ve stopped taking on so many idol-like jobs. Less endorsements, better dramas etc, but you’re still _you_ and this is still the Chinese entertainment industry,” said XueXue patiently. 

“It’s not illegal anymore,” he argues. “What we are doing is _legal_ now”. 

“Those are just technicalities, and you know it, Wang Yibo,” said Liling. “Being gay is still widely opposed by many and you know that you’re risking losing jobs over this in the future. Including the ones you already have. Forget continuing with Day Day Up. Hunan would never allow it”. 

This time, it was Yibo’s turn to sigh. When he had laid in bed with Xiao Zhan the night before practicing all the things they would say, he didn’t seem to be able to remember any of them right now. They both knew this though. Despite the fact that the law had recently changed, and things were changing socially in China, it was probably still not enough to prevent them from industry backlash. Their careers could still suffer, or be ended entirely if they were to go public. 

“It’s been nine years,” said Xiao Zhan, placing both of his palms down on the table in front of him. “We’ve been together for nine years, in total secret. The four of you got us through countless career-ending scandals and then managed to convince the entire world that we want nothing to do with each other. I have the utmost faith that you can manage a wedding announcement”. 

“Xiao Zhan,” said Juanjuan, a soft dulcet warning in his voice. 

“This is not a negotiation,” said Xiao Zhan. Yibo wanted to kiss him right then and there. “We’re affording you the respect of informing you of our plans because we know you will be impacted by this. However, if you’re not on board and you won't help, then we’ll deal with it ourselves and whatever will be, will be. 

“Oh Xiao Zhan,” said XueXue sadly. 

“We love each other, XueXue. More than we love our work. We are both so tired of this. We’ve both had great careers, albeit not without many struggles, but at the end of the day, if we’re forced to walk away now so we can have this? We’ll do it with our heads held high knowing that we did the best we could in this industry and we didn’t let it ruin the very best parts of ourselves - _each other_ ”. 

Yibo looked over at Xiao Zhan, who was not looking at Yibo, with all the love and adoration he felt for the man. Xiao Zhan had no problem saying these things in private when it was just the two of them, so Yibo never had any qualms about where he stood with Xiao Zhan. But it still felt incredible to watch him to go bat for their relationship. He wanted to throw his arms around his neck and crawl into Xiao Zhan’s lap, but he reached for his hand instead, re-threading their fingers together tightly. 

“I love you too, Gege,” said Yibo warmly. He placed a soft kiss on the back of their joined hands. He hoped Xiao Zhan wouldn’t mind the sudden outburst of affection. 

Xiao Zhan turned and looked at him then, smiling warming. No, he didn’t mind. 

“Oh please someone get a bucket,” spat Jia cackling again. “Xiao Zhan, I had no idea you were such a sap”. 

“There’s probably a lot you don’t know about me,” XIao Zhan responded under his breath. 

“What?” said Jia. “I couldn’t hear you”. 

Yibo chuckled, knowing _exactly_ what Xiao Zhan had meant. 

“Nothing Jia, just ignore Zhan-ge”. 

Xiao Zhan did not let go of his hand, but the two of them turned back to look at the four faces in the room studying them carefully. 

Silence descended upon them yet again. Yibo could do this part of the game. He was okay with silence. He could wait for as long as they needed before he said anything more. He had said everything he wanted to anyway. Now he just wanted to get out of these offices and go home with his fiance. 

“What if we said no?” asked Liling carefully after a few moments. 

Yibo snorted. “Didn’t you hear Xiao Zhan? This isn’t a negotiation. If you’re not on board, get off the bus. We both want you here and we need you, but we’ll do this without you if you don’t want to be part of this”. 

“If you go ahead with this - ”

“ - _when_ ,” said Xiao Zhan, cutting her off. 

Liling rolled her eyes. “Okay then, _when_ you go ahead with this, you fully understand that you might not have careers intact at the end of it all, despite the fact that the legalities have changed?”

“We know,” said Xiao Zhan, nodding.

Jia sighed loudly. “Wang Yibo I want you to think _very_ hard about this. The government may not be able to go after you anymore, but the industry certainly can. What is _legal_ and what is _accepted_ aren’t always the same thing in this country”. 

Yibo released Xiao Zhan’s hand and rubbed the sides of his skull. “Nine years, Jia. _Nine years_. You think we haven’t talked this through backward and forward and every which way? We know exactly what it means”. 

“You’re both fools. You’ve managed to have a perfectly great relationship in total secrecy for this long, do you really want to disrupt everything now?” asked Jia, who was clearly struggling with the whole thing the most out of everyone. Her voice was pitching louder and louder each time she spoke. 

“Okay,” said Juanjuan. He placed both of his hands up in surrender in Jia’s direction.”Enough. They’ve made themselves clear”. 

Juanjuan turned to Xiao Zhan then. “Xiao Zhan, I’ve worked for you for longer than you’ve known Wang Yibo. I feel like I know you pretty well by now. If you were even a little worried about this decision, you wouldn’t be making it. So therefore, if this is what you want, I’ll do whatever I can to help this go as smoothly as possible for you both”. 

Xiao Zhan exhaled loudly. “Thank you, truly. That means a lot”. 

Yibo placed a warm, reassuring hand on Xiao Zhan’s shoulder. 

“Congratulations, by the way,” said Juanjuan, smirking. 

Xiao Zhan just smiled at Juanjuan warmly. Yibo expected they would probably have a more elaborate conversation about that later when it was just the two of them. 

They turned to everyone else and waited. 

Liling rolled her eyes. “Wang Yibo, I thought you knew me better than that. After all we’ve been through? I’m offended. Regardless of what I think about what you’re doing, you know I would never abandon you when you need me the most. Of course I’m in, you annoying, overbearing, insufferable gremlin”. 

A wide smile broke out on Yibo’s face and he jumped to his feet. He ran over to where Liling was sitting and threw his arms around her neck. 

“Thank you, Liling. This means the world to us”. 

Liling huffed, but patted Yibos forearms affectionately. 

When Yibo turned around, he glared at Jia with hard, unaffectionate eyes. 

Jia snorted. “If I lose my job in this whole mess, your husband better employ me at his flower shop, or his bakery shop or whatever he does next because I know nothing about motorcycles and you can’t hook me up with a gig at Yamaha, okay?”

Xiao Zhan chuckled. “You have my word, Jia”. 

They all turned to XueXue. 

“Xiao Zhan,’ she said in a pained voice. “This is going to be the biggest scandal you’ve faced so far. Worse than 227, worse than the orchestrated fall out. Worse than anything”. 

Yibo looked over at his fiance’s faltering smile. 

“Potentially. But yes, we know”. 

“Are you really ready for all that?” she asked. 

Xiao Zhan sighs and throws a cursory smile at Yibo before looking back to his manager. 

“I’m ready for him. I’m ready for _us_. Whatever else happens? I’ll make sure I’m ready for that too”. 

XueXue sighed and rubbed her eyes. 

“Well it looks like we have a public statement to make then, doesn't it”

Wang Yibo ran back over to Xiao Zhan, unable to contain his bursting joy. This time he did climb into his fiance’s lap, and this time he did throw his arms around Xiao Zhan’s neck. Yibo buried his face in Xiao Zhan’s neck and began to sob.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d ever felt this happy. 

"Nobody does _anything_ without running it by me and Liling first, do you hear me? We didn't save your careers a million times over by having you both go and ruin it with your unbridled happiness, are we clear?" retorts XueXue.

But Xiao Zhan and Yibo weren't really listening to her. They sat there clutching at each other overflowing in their _unbridled happiness_. 

  
  
  
  


  
  


  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I can’t believe you managed to bag WangYibo, make it through hell with that guy, and come out on the other side just as China decides its going to let the gays get married”.
> 
> Xiao Zhan snorted loudly. 
> 
> “Love wins, sometimes, doesn't it Juanjuan?”

It had been a week since Xiao Zhan and Yibo had dropped the bombshell on their employees that they wanted to get married. Wait, scratch that, _were_ getting married. Both Xiao Zhan and Yibo did exactly as they were told and changed nothing about their usual behavior until their respective teams could come up with a coordinated plan for how to navigate their coming out strategically. 

Xiao Zhan was sitting in the conference room at Xiao Zhan Studio, chewing on the end of a pen, staring out the floor-to-ceiling glass wall feeling a little anticlimactic about the whole thing. 

On the day that the breaking news was announced that the legal restrictions against same-sex marriage were being lifted in China, Yibo and Xiao Zhan had stood in the middle of the very large living room, holding each other, gaping at the television. This was the third time the proposition had gone before the communist party, with both prior attempts shot down. Neither of them had any real hope that it was going to pass this particular time, but they watched on anyway out of duty to themselves and each other. 

When the verdict was delivered, Yibo screamed and jumped up and down. He jumped on the couches, he jumped on the coffee table. He bounced up and down in their living room like an over-excited child. Xiao Zhan, on the other hand, had stood rooted in place for a while just staring at the television in disbelief. It wasn’t until Yibo was pawing at his face and using his sleeve to wipe his cheeks that Xiao Zhan even realized that he was sobbing. 

Then, almost subconsciously, he was clutching at Yibo’s shoulders. “We’re going to do it right? We’re going to get married?”

“Fuck _yes_ we’re getting married!” exclaimed Yibo, throwing his arms around Xiao Zhan’s shoulders. 

They had been so happy in that moment as everything seemed so simple and clear. They could get married now, and so they would. 

It wasn’t until they began having real adult conversations about exactly how they were going to do this, that the lump formed in Xiao Zhan’s gut. Last week had gone exactly as Xiao Zhan thought it would. Their employees were right to object; it was their jobs to protect each of their careers. But Xiao Zhan and Yibo were also right. They deserved this, regardless of how hard it was likely to be. 

Xiao Zhan hadn’t spoken one single exaggeration, nor one lie that day. He was _so_ ready for this part of his life to start with Yibo, even if that came at the expense of his career. He just really hoped that wasn’t going to be the case. But if it was? Then it was. The country they lived in and the industry they had chosen for themselves dictated that, regardless of how much Xiao Zhan had wanted to, he had never been able to put Yibo first. After all these years together, Yibo deserved to come first. Hell, Xiao Zhan deserved it too. 

As Xiao Zhan sat in the conference room now, looking out into the blue sky encompassing the building, he sighed. The law had changed, but had much else? They still had to _strategize_ about how Xiao Zhan could stand next to his husband and sat “I do”. He wondered a little sadly how many other people had to strategize a wedding announcement. 

" _Xiao Zhan_ ,” said Juanjuan’s terse voice. “Are you even listening to me?”

It occurred to Xiao Zhan that no, he wasn’t. 

He swiveled his chair back around to face Juanjuan. “Sorry, what were you saying?”

Juanjuan sighed. “I would ask you if you want to do this at a later time, but we really need to finalize this now, Xiao Zhan. Especially if you want to stick to the original timeline”. 

_That_ definitely got Xiao Zhan’s attention. “We are absolutely sticking to the timeline. Yibo will kill me if we defer _any_ longer”. 

Juanjuan just raised a curious eyebrow in Xiao Zhan’s direction. Xiao Zhan decided to ignore it. 

“I’m listening. What do you need?”

“We’ll have someone take a photo of the two of you holding hands, or hugging, or something like that tonight at dinner. _No kissing though okay?_ ”

Xiao Zhan snorted and rolled his eyes. “Juanjuan, first of all, you don’t need to remind me that we need to be calculated and slow about this. When Yibo and I told you that we were going to get married we didn’t mean tomorrow. We know this has to be done in stages.”

Juanjuan nodded. “Okay then”.

" _And_ secondly, you absolutely will not be putting any photos that are taken at dinner tonight of Yibo and I on social media anywhere. The dinner is at our home. We are about to let a whole lot of people into this relationship and we are definitely not also letting them into our home”. 

“But Xiao Zhan - ”

“ - no buts, Juanjuan. Pictures of our private residence will remain entirely out of this process. End of story”. 

Juanjuan sighed. “Okay boss, then what do you suggest?”

“Yibo is on his way here with my parents right now,” said Xiao Zhan. He grimaced thinking about what was about to come out of his mouth. “We can have someone orchestrate something here and then leak that”. 

“Why is Yibo coming here with your parents?” asked Juanjuan. 

Xiao Zhan looked at Juanjuan in confusion. “Our parents are all flying into Beijing for the dinner tonight”.

“Yes, but why is he bringing them _here_ and why was he picking them up? What if someone sees them together?” 

Xiao Zhan chuckled. “Juanjuan, think about what you just asked me. We’re about to leak an intimate photograph of me and Wang Yibo together after Xiao Zhan Studio and Yibo Official orchestrated a massive media campaign several years ago to convince the world that he and I detest each other… and you’re worried about someone seeing my parents with Yibo? By the time these photos go live tonight _my parents_ are going to be the least of our fandom’s concerns”. 

Juanjuan reached out and placed a gentle hand. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

Xiao Zhan laughed lightly. “Marry Wang Yibo? Absolutely. But this? The rest of it? Did I wish that he and I could get married without worrying about any of this? Of course I do. But that is not the reality we live in, so here we are”. 

“We don’t have to rush into this, Xiao Zhan. You have all the time in the world,” said Juanjuan.

Xiao Zhan leveled his eyes and Juanjuan and regarded the man carefully. “You’re not okay with this”. 

Juanjuan raised his hands in instant defense. “No, no. Your life, your heart, your marriage”. 

Xiao Zhan clucked his tongue. “But?”

Juanjuan sighed. “I’m just worried for my job, Xiao Zhan”. 

“Ah,” said Xiao Zhan. “So you do think this is going to go badly. Well, if it does, Juanjuan, you will have no problems finding another job. You’re one of the best publicists in the country”. 

“Yes, Xiao Zhan. I’m aware of that,” chuckled Juanjuan. “But I like working for you. I care about you. I care about what happens to you next”. 

Xiao Zhan softened inside. He reached out and placed his own hand on Juanjuan’s forearm. “We’ve been through a lot together, you and I, haven’t we?”

Juanjuan nodded. 

“You’ll always be a part of my life, Juanjuan. Regardless of how this pans out”. 

Juanjuan smiled back warmly. “I know, boss. I know”. 

Juanjuan coughed then and slapped a huge smile across his face.

“I can’t believe you managed to bag _Wang Yibo_ , make it through hell with that guy, without anyone knowing you guys were madly in love all this time, and then come out on the other side just as China decides its going to let the gays get married”.

Xiao Zhan snorted loudly. 

“Love wins, sometimes, doesn't it Juanjuan?”

This time it was Juanjuan’s turn to laugh. “Lord, why are you asking me that? What do I know about love and relationships?”

Xiao Zhan raised his eyebrows at the admission. “You’ve never been in love?”

Juanjuan laughed a little harder at the question. “Xiao _Zhan,_ on what planet have I had time to go and find love? I’ve spent the last nine years of my life managing your relationship so you could keep it a secret. And even now, when you’re about to out yourself to the rest of the damn world, I’m still in massive damage control. So no, the short answer to your question is I have never been in love. I live vicariously through you and Yibo”. 

The weight of Juanjuan’s words hit Xiao Zhan like a truck. All these people around him had sacrificed _so much_ of themselves and their own lives to ensure that his own could prosper. And here Xiao Zhan was, getting ready to possibly throw it all away, throw it all back in their faces. 

Xiao Zhan didn’t know what to say to that, so he didn’t say anything at all. He knew, however, that Juanjuan’s admission wasn’t about to leave him any time soon.

  
  


***

Xiao Zhan walked into the house he shared with Yibo with his parents in tow. He showed them to their guest room and then went out to join the cluster of bodies all gathering on his back deck. Everyone in their house right now had always been aware of the true nature of Xiao Zhan and Yibo’s relationship. Although none of them knew it, Yibo and Xiao Zhan had asked them all here so they could break the news to everyone that they were finally going to stop hiding. 

Of course their employees were here. But Ayunga and Yunlong were also here, as were Yibo’s Day Day Up brothers, Xuan Lu and Wang Zhuocheng, and their parents. They both had other friends, but this group right here? These special people are the only ones that really knew the whole truth. That’s how closeted their lives had been for the last nine years. And honestly, Xiao Zhan was far more terrified of having to continue living his life with Yibo _like this_ than any fall out of poor reaction by the industry. 

Yibo’s mother was in the kitchen with Wang Han, while everyone else was outside on the deck drinking and catching up. 

Xiao Zhan stopped by the kitchen first before heading out to the deck and gave Yibo’s mother a hug.

She embraced him warmly. “Zhanzhan, it’s good to see you. You look so good, son”. 

“You too, Mama. I’m glad you are here with us all”. 

Xiao Zhan turned to embrace Wang Han, who pulled him into a big giant hug. “Yes Xiao Zhan, why _are_ we all here?”

Xiao Zhan giggled softly and pulled out of the embrace. “Where is Yibo?”

Wang Han motioned towards all the people outside. 

Xiao Zhan wandered out to the deck and greeted everyone warmly. He was pulled into hugs from everyone, and Xiao Zhan made sure to give special attention to Yibo’s father for a few minutes. Eventually though, he threw himself down on a love seat next to Yibo and threw one of his legs up over Yibo’s lap. Yibo dropped a hand over his knee. 

This was their home, and Xiao Zhan and Yibo had always been like this around this small group of people. Xiao Zhan felt totally at ease surrounded by these people he loved so much. Some of the tension that had crept into his shoulders throughout the day began to dissipate. 

“Is your mother really cooking for everyone?” he leaned over and murmured into Yibo’s ear. 

Yibo smiled radiantly at him, nodding enthusiastically. “I can’t wait”. 

“Darling, why didn’t you tell her that we would get dinner catered?”

Yibo snorted joyfully. “My god, Xiao Zhan. Of course I told her that. It's my _mother_ we’re talking about. You know damn well that if yours had gotten an earlier flight they would have been in that kitchen all day together doing their thing”. 

Xiao Zhan smiled warmly. It was true. When they got together for family events, they tended to put both their families together and Yibo’s mother had forged quite a solid friendship with his own. They were an unstoppable force together in the kitchen. 

“And Wang Han? He always ends up in the kitchen when he is here. I feel bad. I don’t want him to think we invite him to these things so he will pamper us with food”. 

“Xiao Zhan, are you telling me there are _other_ reasons why you invite him here?”

Xiao Zhan swatted Yibo playfully on the shoulder. 

“Yibo!”

Yibo erupted into giggles and dropped a quick kiss on Xiao Zhan’s cheek. The two of them returned their attention to their friends and immersed themselves in the conversation. 

Then Xiao Zhan, without realizing how much time had actually passed, found himself sitting at their extremely long dining room table as they all finished up their ridiculously fabulous home cooked meal while being kicked in the ankle as XueXue cleared her throat. 

XueXue was indicating that it was time. 

Xiao Zhan dropped a hand onto Yibo’s thigh under the table and gave it a gentle squeeze. Yibo just glanced at him and nodded. 

It was Xiao Zhan’s turn to clear his throat. 

“Umm, so, there _is_ actually a reason why we asked you all here. Actually, a couple of reasons,” Xiao Zhan begins. 

Xiao Zhan took a moment to look around the table, into the eyes of all these people who had done nothing but shower them with love and support over the last nine years. More than anything, he hoped that he and Yibo could protect them all through this mess, and that nothing bad came their way after they leaked the photos. 

Xiao Zhan turned to Yibo and looked deep into his eyes. Yibo nodded, seemingly understanding where Xiao Zhan was going with this. Yibo reached for the necklace tucked into his shirt and Xiao Zhan did the same. 

When Jia had scolded them so harshly for wearing their rings in public, the pair of them had done what they were told and taken them right off. They had been wearing them on a chain around their necks since then, until the moment came where they knew they would be safe to put them back on their fingers where they belonged. 

Xiao Zhan blushed as they pulled their necklaces out in unison. Both Yibo’s mother and his own gasped and clasped their hands over their mouths. Qian Feng’s eyes widened in surprise, but he was also wearing a massive grin. Wang Han and Wang Zhuocheng started clapping. 

“We’re, uhh, we’re getting married. Now that we can”. 

Yibo threw his arms around Xiao Zhan and smacked another kiss on his cheek. 

Their friends and family all started clapping and scrambling to their feet to celebrate, except their mothers of course, who were now both clutching on to each other for dear life, tears streaming down their cheeks. 

Xiao Zhan shared a hesitant glance with Yibo. 

“Ma,” he started nervously. “Are those good or bad tears? You’re okay with this right?”

Instead of answering him, she turned to Yibo’s mother. “He’s asking me if I’m okay if he gets married?”

Yibo’s mother cackled. 

Both of their dads began laughing as well. 

“So, good tears then?” Yibo clarified for good measure. 

“Wang Yibo,” admonishes Wang Han. “It is every Chinese parents dream to see their children marry. And now you _can_. I believe what your parents are conveying right now is overwhelming joy. Congratulations, really. The both of you”. 

The entire group stood then, and rushed over to envelope the boys in a giant group hug. As this was not news for Jia, XueXue, Juanjuan and Liling, they stood back and let their friends and families rejoice with them for a few minutes. 

At one point, Xiao Zhan even teared up himself. 

However it was the sound of XueXue’s voice again, clearing through the commotion, that reminded Xiao Zhan that they were not done with the announcements. 

He asked everyone to settle back into their seats. 

“That’s not all,” he said, now looking over towards Wang Han as he spoke. “We have decided we are not going to hide it anymore. We don’t want to. We can’t”. 

Xiao Zhan didn’t take his eyes off Wang Han’s face. Wang Han’s eyes traveled to Yibo’s and the pair shared a glance. Yibo’s mouth turned down ever so slightly, but only enough that Xiao Zhan noticed. He doubted anyone else would have picked up on the exchange. 

But Xiao Zhan knew exactly what the infinitesimal exchange meant: Wang Han didn’t know if Hunan Television would continue to support Yibo's presence on the show if he came out - new laws or not. 

It wasn’t like everyone at Day Day Up and Hunan didn’t know that Yibo was gay - they _did_ . Over the years, Yibo had begged the producers to stop forcing him into dating segments with girls. Eventually he ended up telling them, but at the time, Yibo was still _very much_ in the closet. At that time they didn’t know if they would ever get a chance to change that. So Hunan had turned the other cheek, but they had stopped asking him to participate in horrendously uncomfortable heterosexual segments that left him stumbling and fumbling. 

But as far as Xiao Zhan and Yibo knew, the only people at Hunan Television that knew Yibo was in a relationship with Xiao Zhan were all sitting at this table. 

“Zhanzhan,” said his dad. “We understand the laws are changing. Does this mean everything is going to be fine for both of your public personas now?”

Xiao Zhan smiled sadly at his father, then shared a glance with XueXue. “Actually, we don’t really know. There is no predicting how this is going to go, so we wanted to make sure, for your own safety and for ours, that we were all together when we did this”.

“Did _what_ exactly?” asked Ayunga

Xiao Zhan looked at Ayunga then, and wondered in that split second if he and Yunlong had also been talking about getting married now they could. They had been together living in a domestic partnership for twice as long as he and Yibo. He wondered how they felt about it. He made a mental note to ask him later. 

Xiao Zhan’s mouth went dry. He looked over to XueXue for help. 

“We’ve taken some intimate photos of the two of them together. We’re leaking them to a blogger as we speak. Within thirty minutes to an hour we expect to see some kind of reaction. What that reaction will be, we don’t know. We’re testing the waters before we reveal the entire truth”. 

“What kind of _intimate_ photos?” Yibo’s mom asked, an edge in her voice. 

“Maaaa, nothing like _that_ , god!” replied Yibo instantly, covering his face. 

“Of course not, Mrs Wang. We would never implicate either of them that way,” said Liling warmly, clearly trying to placate Mrs Wang’s nerves. “There is a photo from behind, of the boys holding hands, and a photo from the side that clearly depicts both of their faces as they embrace. They were taken with a long range lens, so it does look like sasaeng footage, rather than something we orchestrated ourselves”. 

A quiet descended on the group as everyone got lost in their thoughts. Xiao Zhan avoided eye contact with them all. Instead, he studied his lap. 

“Han-ge,” he heard Yibo say softly. Xiao Zhan looked up at Wang Han then. 

Wang Han just shook his head and smiled sadly at Yibo. “Let’s not think about that tonight. Let’s just wait and see, okay?”

Yibo nodded, and no one else asked any more questions about that particular side conversation. Everyone present seemed to understand exactly what that was about. 

Xuan Lu then chose that moment to raise her hand. “I have a question”. 

Xiao Zhan smiled at her. “Sure Lulu, shoot”. 

“You said for all our safety you want us to be together?”

Against his better judgement, Xiao Zhan let out a strangled little noise and turned to Yibo. But Yibo was no help and seemed to be off in some far away place mentally, so he turned to the managers instead. 

“We don’t know how this is going to go. We especially wanted the Wangs and the Xiaos here in case people react poorly and go looking for trouble at their homes. But the rest of you all knew about their relationship, and just don’t know how far fans will go to look for the truth if they’re angry,” explained Liling. 

“Surely you don’t think …” Xuan Lu trailed off. 

“We don’t know,” offered Liling. “No one has ever done this before. Not on purpose. So we just don’t know. We have a statement prepared to release later tonight if Weibo becomes a mess, but for tonight everyone is staying here. The boy's parents will literally stay here in the house, but the rest of us are staying at the hotel around the corner. We’ve arranged for accommodation for you all as well”. 

Xiao Zhan mustered up the courage to look over at his parents, who now seems slightly less enthusiastic about their upcoming nuptials. 

Before Xiao Zhan had a chance to address the issue though, all four managers, plus his and Yibo’s phones started beeping. They all reached for their phones simultaneously and scrolled through their alerts. 

Xiao Zhan heard another phone ringing but he couldn’t be sure who it belonged to. 

“Well the photos are out,” said Jia with resignation. 

Xiao Zhan opened his Weibo to see if there was a response already. 

“ _Fuck!”_ he said. The photos were indeed _out_. 

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Zhan-ge, you’re just pissed that you have absolutely no way to control what is about to happen. Regardless of the statements we put out, regardless of all the steps we planned, we really can’t control what is going to happen now and that is driving you mad. You would have been angry tonight whether they took our devices, or not”. 
> 
> “Why aren’t you more angry?” asked Xiao Zhan. The acidic tone in his voice did not go unnoticed by Yibo. But Yibo knew what Xiao Zhan was doing, and he wasn’t going to fight with him tonight. 

Yibo was only on Weibo for five minutes, gaping in shock at the incredibly immediate response, before Liling was grabbing his phone from his hand. XueXue was also doing the same to Xiao Zhan. 

“Hey!” he said, trying to snatch it back. Yibo noticed that Xiao Zhan was looking at XueXue with dark, clouded eyes. 

Yibo looked up and saw that everyone was collecting their things and getting ready to leave. 

“Where is everyone going?”

“Wang Yibo! You know how this goes. Let’s get your loved ones back to the hotel, you’re going to get some sleep and stay the hell off social media, and we’ll deal with this tomorrow”. 

“But I want to see what people are saying - it wasn’t all bad you know!” exclaimed Yibo. “There were people speaking out in support of us, saying how brave we were within just a few minutes”. 

“You need to stay away from Weibo,” said Jia. Yibo grunted in response. 

Just then, Juanjuan emerged from upstairs carrying two laptops and three tablets -  _ all _ the remaining electronic devices in their house. 

“What the hell?” balked Xiao Zhan. 

“We’re taking these with us. You can have them back tomorrow,” said Juanjuan. 

“You are  _ not _ ,” scoffed Yibo

“Yibo, didi, listen to your team - they’re just trying to do what’s best for you both,” said Wang Han. “This is what they do”. 

Yibo realized then, that everyone was corralling in the foyer. Their parents were already headed for the stairs to the downstairs bedrooms. 

“You’re all really leaving?” asked Yibo.

“We will be back first thing in the morning. We are literally around the corner,” said Wang Han. “I’ll be here to help with breakfast”. 

“Han-ge, you don’t need to do that,” said Yibo sheepishly. 

“Yibo, you’re my didi, and you’re going through something right now. I have to head back to Changsha tomorrow night but I want to be here for you while I can. Get some rest tonight, okay? You’re going to need it,” said Wang Han. 

Yibo nodded and accepted the embrace Wang Han was offering. He reached for Xiao Zhan and pulled him in too, smooshing them all in a big three-way hug. 

When they all pulled away, Xiao Zhan and Yibo waved sheepishly to their friends waiting for Wang Han in the foyer. 

“I’m so sorry for all this,” said Xiao Zhan.

They all just waved back, muttered not to worry, and then they were gone. That left Yibo and Xiao Zhan face-to-face with their employees. 

Yibo glanced at the pile of their electronics in Juanjuan’s arms. “You’re really taking my phone? What if there is an emergency?” said Yibo petulantly. 

Jia rolled her eyes. “You live in a gated community. Go and see security at the gate if there is an emergency. We’ll be back in less than 12 hours. You can have them back then”. 

Then, like an army in formation, they all turned and walked out, totally and completely in sync. 

When he heard the front door click closed, Yibo turned to Xiao Zhan with the most mischievous grin on his face. 

“Oh no,” said Xiao Zhan. “That’s your demon look. What are you plotting?”

“They may have taken  _ our _ devices, but our parents have phones too!”

Xiao Zhan’s eyes widened in surprise. Clearly he hadn't thought of that. Yibo took off down the stairs to where the guest rooms were located but was halted in his tracks by both their mothers waiting at the bottom of the stairs with their hands on their hips. 

“Mama?” asked Yibo. 

Xiao Zhan appeared at the top of the stairs behind him. 

“Oh no you don’t!” said Mrs Wang. “If you think you’re going to plan a wedding, plan a public  _ outing _ of yourselves and not tell us until the minute it's happening and then expect us to  _ not _ side with the people that are trying their hardest to protect you, then the pair of you have another thing coming”. 

“I was the one that told Juanjuan to round up your devices. And I gave them all of ours too”. 

“Ma!” exclaimed Xiao Zhan. “Why would you do that? This is the most important thing either of us have ever done and you just effectively cut us off from everything”. 

“Precisely. Xiao Zhan, dear son. How short your memory is. Don’t you remember the anxiety-fueled unraveling that you endured when your public reputation was dragged through the mud the last three times something like this happened? Except this time, you caused it yourself. I don’t want you anywhere near that hell app tonight. I don't want to have to take you to the ER -  _ again _ ”. 

Yibo turned around to look back over his shoulder at Xiao Zhan in shock. His mother-in-law was an enigma. She was so soft and gentle on the outside. Yibo had no idea she could be so fierce. 

“This is different, Ma,” said Xiao Zhan, with his hands on his hips. 

Xiao Zhan looked like he was on the verge of throwing a tantrum and Yibo couldn’t help but smirk. He was  _ so _ cute when he was angry. Xiao Zhan let out an audible huff then, and stalked away from the staircase. Yibo turned around and bowed politely at the mothers. 

“I’m just going to… go and see if he’s okay,” he said politely, pointing in the direction of where Xiao Zhan had gone. Yibo turned and took off up the stairs. Xiao Zhan was not in the kitchen, nor in the living room, or out on the back deck. He turned again and shot off in the direction of the staircase that led up to their bedroom. 

Xiao Zhan was standing by their bed, pulling his jacket off his body so aggressively Yibo was concerned he was going to rip the shoulders. 

Xiao Zhan rarely lost his temper these days - their life was good, what was there to be angry about? - but when he did, it was like unleashing the Kraken. Yibo didn’t want that to happen tonight. 

He scurried over and placed a hand on Xiao Zhan’s forearm, stilling Xiao Zhan immediately, tangled in his half removed jacket. Yibo gently guided the jacket down his arms the rest of the way and twisted it off his body. He dropped it carefully onto the armchair next to them. He turned Xiao Zhan around in his arms and reached up to place a soft kiss on his nose. 

“Everyone knows now. It feels good, right?” Yibo murmured softly, wrapping his arms around Xiao Zhan’s waist. 

Xiao Zhan’s face softened at the gentle tones of Yibo’s voice filling the air around them. He also wrapped his arms around Yibo, then pulled the man flush against his taut body. 

“Yes darling. It feels good”. 

“Then why are you so upset?” asked Yibo.

“I’m … concerned,” offered Xiao Zhan. It wasn’t entirely untrue, although maybe a bit too modest of a statement for how he was clearly feeling right now. 

“About our friends?” asked Yibo, knowing  _ that _ wasn’t what was bothering his fiance. 

“I don’t like being kept out of the loop, Yibo. Especially when this is about  _ me _ . About  _ us _ ,”. 

Yibo laughed and released Xiao Zhan, moving to remove his own jacket and throw it on the chair next to Xiao Zhan’s.

“Why are you laughing?”

“Zhan-ge, you’re just pissed that you have absolutely  _ no way _ to control what is about to happen. Regardless of the statements we put out, regardless of all the steps we planned, we really can’t control what is going to happen now and that is driving you mad. You would have been angry tonight whether they took our devices, or not”. 

“Why aren’t  _ you _ more angry?” asked Xiao Zhan. The acidic tone in his voice did not go unnoticed by Yibo. But Yibo knew what Xiao Zhan was doing, and he wasn’t going to fight with him tonight. 

Yibo just shrugged, trying not to instigate Xiao Zhan’s darkening mood any further. “You know me. I care far less about what  _ they _ ,” he said, waving his finger around to indicate everyone out  _ there, _ “say. The people’s opinions that matter to me? They are all here, in this house right now, around the corner in that hotel”. 

“But our career’s could be completely GONE by the time we wake up in the morning!” Xiao Zhan’s voice was rising now. 

Both of them had managed to strip down to their boxer briefs during the exchange so Yibo decided to grab Xiao Zhan’s hand and drag him over to the bed. He pulled back the thick duvet and unceremoniously yanked Xiao Zhan down onto the bed beside him. Xiao Zhan landed with an audible  _ oof _ and struggled to release himself from Yibo’s grasp. Yibo let him go and watched him settle in against the headboard. 

Yibo turned on his side and placed an open palm on the naked skin right above Xiao Zhan’s belly button, just where he liked it. 

“Zhan-ge, we talked about this,” said Yibo softly. Honestly, Yibo knew Xiao Zhan so well, and he had been expecting this to happen, regardless of how their night went with their friends. Yibo had prepared himself for this very conversation. 

“Are you not ready to walk away, like we said, if this doesn’t go well? Did we act too soon?”

Xiao Zhan scrunched up his face and ran a hand over his eyes. 

“No, Yibo, you know I love you,” came Xiao Zhan’s pained reply. 

“I know you do,” said Yibo, reaching up for Xiao Zhan’s face. He tucked a finger underneath his fiance’s chin and turned his head so he could look into his eyes. “That’s not what I was asking you”. 

Xiao Zhan sighed deeply and looked down into Yibo’s eyes. “I think maybe I’m having PTSD related anxiety. This just feels like before”. 

Bingo. 

Yibo had talked to XueXue about this issue earlier in the week without Xiao Zhan knowing. Both of them agreed that Xiao Zhan was exhibiting anxious behaviors that were reminiscent of his previous meltdowns. Not that Xiao Zhan was going to have a meltdown - at least Yibo hoped he wasn’t - but they both wanted to be prepared to catch him if he couldn’t handle this in the end. Not that Yibo hadn’t suffered his own fair share of anxiety over the years in this industry. He had. He really had. In Xiao Zhan, it just manifested differently. 

Yibo knew deep down that he was far more ready to leave the industry if it meant they could be married than Xiao Zhan was. He had  _ always _ been far more ready than Xiao Zhan. At first, early on in their relationship, that fact had bothered Yibo a little. But now, after all the years they’ve spent together, after all the hardship they’ve suffered because of each other and for each other, Xiao Zhan clung to Yibo more than ever. He wasn’t offended that Xiao Zhan seemed apprehensive about letting go.  _ Letting go _ just wasn’t in Xiao Zhan's nature, so Yibo had been preparing for this moment from the second Xiao Zhan said that he didn’t want to have to live in secret with Yibo if they got married. 

Xiao Zhan’s fear about what happened next had nothing to do with how much he loved Yibo, and Yibo had to remember that over the next couple of days. 

“I don’t know what you saw when you logged onto Weibo, but I saw a real mix of emotions. Okay so there were some hateful messages coming through - people using homophobic slurs because they don't approve of gay relationships. But mostly, what I saw was genuine shock. People expressing disbelief that we could possibly be holding hands because we did such a great job of convincing people that we hated each other”. 

Xiao Zhan rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes, you’re a genius okay?”

The campaign to convince the public that the pair of them had definitely gone their separate ways after the 227 scandal had been all Yibo’s idea. He was absolutely fed up with their three fandoms fighting online, harassing endorsers, and even their friends, trying to get the “real truth” about the nature of their relationship. It pissed them both off when people would try and invade their privacy and catch them together. But it also infuriated them both that their individual fandoms seemed to be trying to erase the relationship that so clearly existed. It was a lose/lose situation for them. So Yibo had come up with a plan to take their relationship completely off the grid and enlisted the help of their employees to convince the public that they were not even friends anymore. 

Both Xiao Zhan and Yibo released statements that there was too much animosity between both their camps now, because of all the fan wars and drama. Even though it nearly killed them to do so, they both denied allegations that they were a couple, and even shot down the idea that they were still friends like they once had been during filming CQL. They no longer trusted each other, and had no desire to stay connected. They promised industry executives that should they cross paths for work purposes they would remain professional and respectful, there was no doubt about that, but they had no interest in remaining in each other’s lives anymore. Yibo then asked for the BJYX community to close their supertopic, and after much public lamentation, they did. 

Denying their relationship in public, and watching their individual fandoms rejoice just about destroyed both of them. It had been a rocky period for them both and there had definitely been more than one volatile fight. But somehow, they made it through. 

Then, any notion of Yibo and Xiao Zhan as a unit slipped into oblivion. Over time, people stopped trying to find evidence that they were together, stopped trying to link them at events, and seemed to accept that they were no longer friends - and definitely not lovers. 

Yibo and Xiao Zhan got the privacy they so desperately craved. When Yibo had suggested this idea, Xiao Zhan did not think it would work.  _ All _ of the people on their teams thought it would though, so Xiao Zhan had gone along with it. 

Their newfound privacy didn’t exactly make their lives easier though. They had to be more careful than ever that they weren’t seen going to the same places, going into the same buildings, and they had to stay the hell away from each other at public events. If the public got even a glimpse of them interacting, everyone would know they’d lied about everything - both of them were completely unable to hide their feelings for each other when they were in the same space. 

This meant, at least initially while they were still working out how to live like this, they ended up spending more time apart than they liked. Yibo _hated_ it, and caused more fights than it was really worth. But again, somehow they had made it through. 

Despite the fact that the past few years had been hard living like this, it meant they were able to preserve their relationship and keep it far, far away from the vicious fandoms who desperately wanted to ruin it. 

And here they were, more in love than ever, getting ready to get married. As far as Yibo was concerned, it was worth it all. 

“If that’s the biggest repercussion, I’ll take it,” said Yibo, leaning up to place a soft kiss on Xiao Zhan’s mouth. 

It seemed to do the trick. 

“I’m sorry,” said Xiao Zhan. “I know I get over-anxious about this stuff. I didn’t mean to take it out on you”. 

Yibo smiled at him warmly. “You didn’t, baby. You didn’t”.

***

When Yibo woke up the next morning, he was  _ horny _ . This was not an unusual occurrence for Yibo in the mornings and his dick was rock hard, standing to salute, like it always did. Yibo rolled over and saw that Xiao Zhan was still sleeping. He curled around behind his fiance and wrapped his arm around Xiao Zhan’s front, wasting no time as he shoved his hands down Xiao Zhan’s boxer briefs. 

When Xiao Zhan didn’t stir, Yibo began trailing soft, wet kisses down the back of Xiao Zhan’s neck. 

This time, Xiao Zhan  _ did _ stir. He murmured something incomprehensible and leaned back into Yibo’s body. As Yibo’s grasp on his fiance’s dick tightened ever so slightly, Xiao Zhan’s eyes flew open.

He was definitely awake now. 

Xiao Zhan’s breath hitched a little but he elbowed Yibo in the ribs and pushed away from the insatiable man sharing his bed. 

“Hey!” said Yibo, as Xiao Zhan scurried away from him. 

Xiao Zhan turned to face Yibo now.

“We are  _ so _ not having sex this morning. We have a house full of parents and from the smell of all the bacon and coffee, Wang Han is already downstairs in the kitchen,” admonished Xiao Zhan. 

Yibo groaned. 

“We can be quiet. I promise, I'll be quiet,” begged Yibo.

Xiao Zhan snorted and threw back the covers as he climbed out of bed, and out of arm’s length of Yibo. Yibo was never quiet, and Xiao Zhan had little will power to resist him when Yibo really put his hands on Xiao Zhan. 

Yibo pouted as Xiao Zhan opened the dresser and pulled out a tee-shirt and sweatpants. He threw them at the bed, in Yibo’s general direction. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” whined Xiao Zhan. “That’s not fair”. 

Yibo threw the covers off his body completely and groaned loudly. 

“ _ This _ isn’t fair,” he complained petulantly, pointing down at the tent in his boxer briefs. 

Xiao Zhan laughed as he pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt of his own. 

“Go take a cold shower,” he suggested over his shoulder as he headed for the door. “I’m going downstairs to see what’s happening down there”. 

“You’re a  _ TYRANT _ ,” called Yibo after him. 

Yibo rolled onto his stomach and pounded the mattress with a closed fist, exactly like a child who didn’t get his way. 

He did do what Xiao Zhan suggested though, and threw himself under the stream of a cold shower. 

***

Downstairs, Yibo found their parents sitting outside on the deck enjoying a cup of tea and the morning sun. Yibo couldn’t hear what they were talking about, as the door was closed, but they seemed quite animated. Yibo was happy that his parents got along so well with Xiao Zhan’s. He didn’t know how they would have navigated all this without them, actually. 

Prior to Xiao Zhan arriving in his life like a freight train, Yibo had never really been that close with his family. He loved them, that was a given. But he left to go to idol school at such a young age that he just didn’t feel like he knew them that well. 

Xiao Zhan, on the other hand, was stupidly close with his parents. When he had insisted that he and Yibo tell their families about their relationship, Xiao Zhan had sort of bulldozed his way into the Wang’s lives and insisted that he and Yibo work hard to include his parents in their relationship. Yibo’s mother had been overjoyed at the new closeness that this brought between her and Yibo. Yibo’s dad was a quiet man, but Yibo could tell that he loved Xiao Zhan and loved the fact that Xiao Zhan was responsible for bringing Yibo home more often. Yibo didn’t realize how much he missed his family until Xiao Zhan was forcing them back into his life. Yibo would be forever grateful to Xiao Zhan for that: his parents were pretty great. 

When Yibo headed for the kitchen, he found all four of their employees sitting at their long dining table with Xiao Zhan. Wang Han was in the kitchen assumingly cooking up a storm. But the kitchen wasn’t so far away that Han-ge couldn’t hear and participate in the conversation if he wanted to. 

None of their other friends seemed to be here yet.

Yibo flopped down in a chair next to Xiao Zhan and rubbed his eyes. 

“Is there coffee? Asked Yibo. 

Xiao Zhan nodded and pushed his chair back. He padded over to the kitchen and poured Yibo a cup of steaming black coffee. 

Yibo smiled at him as he accepted the cup. “I could have done that,” said Yibo. ‘But thank you”. 

“Apologies,” said Xiao Zhan, winking at Yibo, “For this morning”. 

Yibo’s cheeks flushed as he looked around at their colleagues, hoping no one understood what Xiao Zhan was talking about. But none of them were paying any attention to the exchange. They all had their noses stuck in tablets. 

“So how did it go last night?” asked Yibo, sipping on his coffee. “Can I have my phone back now?”

“Absolutely not!” they all said in unison. 

Yibo looked at Xiao Zhan and raised an eyebrow. 

“They were waiting for you to come downstairs before they told me anything. I have no idea what is happening”. 

Yibo rolled his eyes. 

“Guys! Time out”. 

All of them looked at Yibo then. 

“You need to tell us what is happening. And  _ now _ ”. 

Jia exchanged a hesitant glance with her three colleagues, but no one said anything. 

Yibo was starting to feel annoyed by their dramatics. 

“ _ Jia _ ,” he said tersely. 

Jia sighed. 

“We think it's best if you leave the country for a few days”. 

“ _ What the fuck?!” _ said Yibo and Xiao Zhan in complete synchronicity. 


	4. Chapter 4

Xiao Zhan and Yibo had been dragged through so much mess online in front of the whole damn country countless times before. Not once in all their history together had they ever been advised to _run_. Lay low? Yes. Toe the party line? Yes. Cover up? Definitely. But flee? Not one single time. 

Xiao Zhan had to know what was happening. 

“Okay, that’s it. XueXue, give me my phone. _Now,_ ” commanded Xiao Zhan. He held out his hand. 

Yibo did the same.

“I really don’t think - ” started Jia. 

But Xiao Zhan cut her off. “I don’t care _what_ you think. Give me the phone”. 

XueXue sighed, and got up from the table, disappearing into the foyer. 

Xiao Zhan threw a glance out at his parents through the window while he waited for her to return. If they noticed that Xiao Zhan was about to flip a table, they certainly didn’t let it be known. Neither his parents, nor Yibo’s, seemed to be paying attention to them. Xiao Zhan wondered if they had already seen what was happening and was deliberately staying out of the way. 

XueXue returned from the foyer with all of their devices bundled in her arms. She placed them on the table between Xiao Zhan and Yibo. 

They both dove for their phones and clicked into their lock screens. Xiao Zhan noticed Yibo lean back in his chair, already scrolling. 

Xiao Zhan didn’t even try and find the leaked photos - he knew they would be everywhere. He went straight to his studio’s homepage on Weibo to find the statement that was released last night.

The statement read:

_As the photographs in question clearly depict Mr Xiao Zhan in the company of Mr Wang Yibo, Xiao Zhan Studio does not wish to deny the allegations that Mr Wang Yibo was visiting Xiao Zhan at his offices yesterday. The nature of the visit remains confidential, and we do not wish to say anymore about what is happening in the photographs. We ask for you to respect Xiao Zhan’s privacy at this time. Thank you._

That was exactly the statement that Xiao Zhan and his team had drafted, so there was nothing unusual to see there. Confirming his relationship with Yibo right away had never been part of the plan. Yibo made it clear he wanted them to do that together, so as to avoid any speculative fan drama. If their fandoms didn’t do as the statement asked, and respected their privacy (which Xiao Zhan knew they wouldn’t) Yibo and Xiao Zhan were going to record a short video together today and release it officially through both of their studios. 

But what had happened overnight that was so bad for XueXue to think they should leave the country? How much worse could it get than they’ve had it before? 

Xiao Zhan scrolled down into the comments, and they were, as he expected, a total mess.

_BunnyLover98: Wow what am I seeing? Isn’t Wang Yibo supposed to be our angel’s worst enemy?_

_TangSan4Lyfe: Oh my god is Xiao Zhan holding that asshole’s hand? Why are they holding hands? They’re hugging too. They told us they hated each other. Are they dating now or something? I’m so confused!_

_WeiWuxian’sChilde replying to: TangSan4Lyfe: Right? It doesn’t look like they hate each other? It looks like… did they make up or something? Why does it feel like we’ve been played by them this whole time?_

_StillTurtling987: Oh My GOD! They’re holding hands! They’re hugging! I knew they didn’t hate each other!!!!! EEEKKK does this mean they’re actually a couple. Oh my god, turtles UNITE!_

_Zhan-ge000: Wait, are we seeing this correctly? Xiao Zhan is holding hands with a man? Holy shit is that Wang Yibo? Dude the laws JUST changed and then we get this? Has he been gay this whole time? Have THEY?_

_ShrimpSeafoodSalad: Oh hell to the no. No way. This can’t be happening. What on earth was he thinking. Why is he holding hands with a guy? He’s NOT gay. No way. How could he do this to us?_

_WeiWuxian’sChilde replying to: ShrimpSeafoodSalad: EXACTLY. He told us they weren’t even friends, let alone anything more. Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo LIED TO US ALL so they could continue to capitalize on our fandoms and earn their fortune because they knew if we knew the truth, we would have walked years ago._

_Dally8 replying to WeiWuxian’sChile: Wow, some fan you are. Who cares if they lied? They’re entitled to a private life too, right?_

Unfortunately, as Xiao Zhan continued to scroll through the comments, very few people agreed with Dally8. There were over 5 million comments placed on this statement alone, so Xiao Zhan knew he wouldn’t be able to read them all, but apart from those that seemed shocked to see them together, as the night wore on, the angry comments definitely dominated the feed. Betrayed. Liar. Immorally dishonest. Greedy. Disgusting homo. Death to Xiao Zhan. 

It was a lot to stomach, and most of it was not good, but he’d seen things like this before. Okay, so he had to admit, through all their previous scandals, he had never had such a voluminous reaction to a statement he made in such a short period of time. The statement was made so late last night and it was still before nine on a weekend. Many people wouldn’t have even seen it yet, so the sheer number of responses _was_ slightly overwhelming to Xiao Zhan. He knew that as the day wore on, it was likely to increase by a lot. However that was to be expected. Since Yibo and Xiao Zhan had effectively “cut ties” both their fandoms grew exponentially in size. Their inter-fandom wars stopped and this seemed to attract new fans for them both. Not that Xiao Zhan really blamed anyone, even _he_ was utterly overwhelmed by the toxicity of his own spaces at that time. So the fact that this statement had more initial responses in such a short period of time made Xiao Zhan’s stomach turn. 

He looked over at Yibo. Yibo’s eyes were solely focused on his phone. 

“Yibo,” said Xiao Zhan, tapping Yibo’s knee to signal his attention. 

Yibo looked up, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth. 

“How is it?” asked Xiao Zhan. 

Yibo grimaced. 

“Here, let’s trade,” said Xiao Zhan, reaching for Yibo’s phone. Yibo nodded and took Xiao Zhan’s as well. 

Yibo’s statement said the same thing in so many words, but they had made sure it wasn’t _exactly_ the same. 

Yibo had 6 million comments, all resembling something similar to those left on Xiao Zhan’s. There were some people that were genuinely confused by photos, wondering what they were doing together. There were ex-turtles coming out of retirement showing support. But mostly, the comments section was littered with people accusing them of mass deception. And the people were _angry_. 

Xiao Zhan sighed and put down Yibo’s phone. He rubbed his eyes, tired even though he had only just woken up. 

“Juanjuan, can you arrange for our parents to go somewhere fun for the day? I don’t want them here to watch us have to deal with this,” suggested Xiao Zhan, looking at his mother. 

She met his eyes now and gave him a small, sympathetic smile. Xiao Zhan’s stomach churned. They had definitely seen the response already. 

“Absolutely not,” retorted XueXue. “People know what your parents look like Xiao Zhan. I don’t want them accosted in public because of this”. 

Xiao Zhan groaned loudly. 

“What if we put them up in the hotel, just for today, with the others,” suggested Yibo. 

XueXue, Juanjuan, Jia and Liling all shared a glance. 

“We would rather you two leave, and they stay here,” said Jia.

Xiao Zhan could feel the hair on the back of his neck standing to attention. 

“And go where? This is our home”.

“Go to Korea, or Thailand,” said Jia. “Actually, now that I think about it, it's probably better if you left Asia. Go to New Zealand! You’re not really that well known there at all and you could have a quiet holiday, just the two of you”.

Xiao Zhan dropped his head into his hands. 

“You’re crazy,” said Yibo. “We’re not leaving the country, we both have work coming up”. 

“Actually, said Juanjuan. “You don’t. Not really. Neither of you have any dramas booked for another two months. This is your scheduled downtime, remember?”

“I have Day Day Up, and we both have endorsements and fan meetings in the interim,” said Yibo, counting their commitments out on his fingers like Juanjuan was a child. 

“Nothing that can’t be rescheduled,” said Juanjuan. 

“Actually,” called out Wang Han. “Yibo, if you want to go I think I could convince the executives to give you a few weeks. Maybe we could even do segments of your trip in New Zealand - solo of course, sorry Xiao Zhan - if you didn't want to take the time off”. 

“Han-ge!” Yibo called back. Xiao Zhan could tell that Yibo was utterly annoyed by the suggestion that they run away. 

“Han-ge, I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to run away from this. Like everything else we’ve been through, this too, shall pass”. 

Wang Han joined them in the dining area then. 

“Yibo maybe this time it isn’t so simple. Maybe you should go, for your own good”. 

Xiao Zhan looked at Liling, who was regarding Wang Han with perfectly trained eyes. It became acutely obvious to Xiao Zhan that Wang Han wasn’t just here to make breakfast. No, Liling had predicted this and knew Yibo would need convincing. He was here as Liling’s tool. 

He looked at her, and clucked his tongue loudly. 

“What aren’t you telling us?” asked Xiao Zhan, a little too aggressively. 

Yibo whipped around and looked at Xiao Zhan. “Zhan-ge?”

“Yibo, the comments under both our statements were exactly as we expected. _Fleeing_ the country was never part of the original plan. Something else happened last night that brought them all to this solution. So, what is it?”

Wang Han sat at the table now, abandoning the breakfast he had been making. 

Liling shared a glance with Jia. Xiao Zhan waited. 

“Fine, okay, some other things did happen last night. Some inconsequential, and some … not,” said Liling. 

Liling paused and took a breath. Yibo pulled his chair closer to Xiao Zhan and wrapped his leg around Xiao Zhan’s under the table. 

“Firstly, the BJYX supertopic was re-created. Ex-turtles have piled in, and a bunch of new ones too, celebrating the fact that their beloved YiZhan do in fact seem to be _back on again_ ”. 

Yibo beamed at him and dropped a quick kiss on his cheek. “See, they love us!”

Xiao Zhan swatted Yibo playfully on the shoulder, temporarily forgetting the seriousness of their situation. 

“How many?” asked Yibo excitedly. 

Liling rolled her eyes. “How are you still like this? You’re 29 now!”

Yibo stuck his tongue out at her and blew a raspberry in her direction. “How many? If you don’t tell me I'll pull it up myself and check”. 

Liling leveled a set of very unimpressed eyes at Yibo. “25 million”. 

Xiao Zhan’s eyebrows lifted in surprise, but Yibo, Yibo literally sat there whooping and hollering in the chair next to him. 

“That’s _so_ many more than it had when we asked them to close it down! There were only, like maybe 4 million then. Wow, this is huge!”

Xiao Zhan wanted to join in Yibo’s excitement. That was quite a lot of people expressing their support for their relationship, and really, it did feel incredible. But Xiao Zhan knew that the BJYX supertopic was the _inconsequential_ thing that Liling had been talking about. 

“What else happened?”

XueXue cleared her throat, indicating that she was now taking over from Liling. 

“Well, the outrage from your individual fandoms about what they perceive to be your joint deception about your relationship has, let's say… created a new force,” said XueXue. 

Man, Xiao Zhan was tired. Everyone was beating around the bush and it was really starting to get on his nerves. He could feel his anxiety twisting up his spine and eating away at his gut. He needed them to get to the point - _fast_. 

“ _Please_ ,” begged Xiao Zhan. “I can’t take this anymore. Just say what you need to say and get it over with”. 

Xiao Zhan closed his eyes and rubbed at his temples, willing himself to calm down. Xiao Zhan felt the distinct feeling of Yibo’s long, bony fingers slide across the back of his neck and work their way into his hair. Yibo scraped his fingers across Xiao Zhan’s skull lovingly. 

When Xiao Zhan opened his eyes, he turned to look at Yibo. Yibo was staring back at him with nothing but love and patience in his eyes. Xiao Zhan was reminded of just why they were doing this, of just _how much_ he loved Wang Yibo. Xiao Zhan reached around the back of his head and pulled Yibo’s hand into his lap, circling it with both his own and hanging on tight. 

“What new force?” asked Yibo, clearly understanding that Xiao Zhan was struggling with something at that moment. 

“While you were asleep millions of people unfollowed you both on Weibo and joined a newly created group called ‘The Truth About Yizhan’. And guys, the things they are doing - they’re not good”. 

“How many people?” asked Yibo instantly. 

“Yibo, you both have a little over 100 million followers now, so a loss is not going to be that important,” said Juanjuan placatingly.

“How many?” asked Yibo again.

Yibo’s eyes locked with Juanjuan’s as he waited for the man to answer. Xiao Zhan hung his head, examining the wood grain of the table in front of him, holding onto Yibo’s hand for dear life. 

“You lost 35 million and Xiao Zhan lost around 45 million,” Juanjuan said, deadpan.

Yibo stilled beside him. Xiao Zhan's head whipped up from his table examination. 

“Are you telling me that 80 million of our fans have banded together to form some kind of hate squad against us?” asked Xiao Zhan, wanting to be perfectly sure that he understood what they were saying. 

“That’s exactly what we’re saying,” said Liling, nodding. 

Yibo whistled. 

Xiao Zhan wasn’t entirely sure if he wanted to know the answer to this question, but he knew he needed to ask it. 

“And what exactly is their purpose? What exactly are they doing?”

“They’ve completely united and put their MTJJ and XFX differences aside. They’re rallying a ‘call to arms’, if you will,” said Jia, putting air quotes around the popular phrase. 

“For the love of god, _spit it out_ ,” ranted Xiao Zhan. 

“They want to know the truth, and if it's what they think it is, they want to know why you lied. They’re calling for people to fly to Beijing and camp outside both your studios until you both come down and address them personally. And they’re sending a squadron to Changsha as well, to camp outside of Hunan Television studios in case Yibo is “hiding” there.”

“So we address them,” said Yibo easily. “Not in person obviously. That would be stupidly unsafe”. 

“I need to call work,” said Wang Han hurriedly. The man shot up from his chair and darted for the foyer. 

“It’s not as simple as that,” explained Xuexue. “There are already crowds gathered at both your parents homes - _very angry_ crowds. They’ve called the production companies of your upcoming dramas, they are calling your endorsers to boycott you both. The hateful things they’re saying in that supertopic are so emotional and unhinged. These are not paid bloggers who are just trying to ruin your career, these are people that thought they had some kind of wild claim to you and they are out for blood. We are worried about your personal safety,” said XueXue.

A strangled sound escaped from Xiao Zhan's mouth. 

“Can we have a minute?” asked Yibo, squeezing Xiao Zhan's hand under the table. 

XueXue shook her head. “Not yet, we’re not done yet”.

“There’s more?” asked Yibo. 

“There’s more,” she said. "The crowds have already started gathering outside both your studio offices. They’re blocking traffic in both directions, causing quite a stir. They’ve thrown things at the buildings, thrown things at the people going in and out of the buildings. They accosted some of both your staff, demanding answers. Guys, they have snapped and it's _very_ bad”. 

“I think we need another plan,” suggested Juanjuan. 

Xiao Zhan could feel his heart thundering in his chest and the sweat break out on the back of his neck. His hands started shaking just a little, but it was enough to get Yibo’s attention. Yibo dropped his hand down to his knee and gave him a squeeze. Xiao Zhan was sure that Yibo was trying to reassure him at that moment, but it wasn’t working. 

Xiao Zhan pushed back his chair and stood up. 

“I’ll be back in a minute,” he said to no one in particular, and darted off towards the stairs to their shared bedroom upstairs. 

Once inside the safety of the room, Xiao Zhan allowed himself to drop down onto the floor in a heap. He pressed his back up against the edge of the bed and dropped his head down between his knees as he took big breaths in and out. He wasn’t having a panic attack, those were much worse. But that didn’t mean that he wasn’t experiencing some pretty extreme anxiety. 

After a few minutes of trying to get the pain in his stomach to stop, he felt a body drop down beside him. He knew, without even lifting his head, that it was Yibo. If it was anyone else, he would have told them to go away, but he was glad Yibo had come looking for him. Yibo was his anchor, and he didn’t want to slip any further than he already had. 

Yibo dropped a hand onto Xiao Zhan’s upper back and began rubbing comfort circles through Xiao Zhan’s t-shirt. Xiao Zhan allowed his head to loll to the side as Yibo tried to pull the anxiety in Xiao Zhan’s shoulders out through his warm, gentle fingers. After a few moments of the pair of them sitting there just like this, Xiao Zhan opened his eyes and lifted his head off his knees. 

“I love you,” he said. “I’m sorry I walked away”. 

“Okay now?”

Xiao Zhan nodded. “I just needed a minute”. 

“Do you want to stop?” asked Yibo, lifting an eyebrow. 

“Stop?” asked Xiao Zhan, not understanding. 

“All this. Stop the plan. There are a million ways we could explain away those photographs. We haven’t admitted to anything yet, except that the people in the photos were actually us,” said Yibo simply. 

“You want to keep living in secret? For the rest of our lives?”

Xiao Zhan knew that wasn’t what Yibo wanted. And despite how he felt right now, it really wasn’t what Xiao Zhan wanted either. 

“Zhan-ge, of course that isn’t what I want. You know that. But if this is going to cause you pain, I’ll follow your lead. You know I’m willing to take whatever you can give me, and if it's not this - what we originally concocted - then it will be something else, and I’ll love you anyway”. 

Xiao Zhan regarded Yibo for three long seconds and wondered what he had done to deserve such a man in his life. Xiao Zhan was acutely aware that hiding, sneaking around, and spending agonizingly long periods of time apart because they had hidden their relationship from everyone caused Yibo great pain. Yet, he almost never complained and followed through with whatever Xiao Zhan felt like he could endure. And for what? Their reputations? Their careers?

Looking into Yibo’s eyes was the reality check that he needed. Downstairs, it wasn’t like he was questioning their decision to come out - how could he, if it meant they could get married? But he was questioning something that was for sure. 

Xiao Zhan opened his arms and pulled Yibo into his lap. 

“No, I want this. I mean, I don't want _this_ ,” he said. “All the pain and hurt we have already caused others, but I do want us”. 

“You can have us either way, Xiao Zhan”. 

Xiao Zhan smacked him on the arm gently. “Yibo, stop! You know what I mean. I’m just afraid of people getting hurt. You heard what they said? These fans, or maybe now we should call them ex-fans, have already accosted members of our staff. Our parents' houses are surrounded. I’m worried about someone we love getting hurt”. 

“Honestly,” said Yibo quietly. “I’m also a little bit afraid of us getting hurt too”. 

“Mn,” said Xiao Zhan. “If they’re as angry as XueXue said, then we need to be extra careful”. 

“Why are they like this, Zhan-ge? Why do they invest so much of themselves in our careers? Outside of our careers, you and I have built these whole, full lives that have nothing to do with them. Why can’t they do the same? Why is fandom so absolutely possessive. What did we ever do to make them think they own us? That they have some claim over us?”

This question surprised Xiao Zhan. He thought Yibo had always known the answer to this. Xiao Zhan pushed Yibo back a little so he could look down into his eyes. 

“You really don’t know?”

Yibo shook his head. No, he didn’t. 

“It’s because we let them drive us apart when they started acting the way they did right in the beginning. We let them, and the industry I suppose, tell us what we were supposed to mean to each other, rather than us telling them what we really did. And I know we couldn’t publicly declare our relationship because of the legalities and all that, but we could have done more to show them that they couldn’t bully us to do what they wanted. But we gave in and we retreated - and they won. Now they think they own us. And maybe, maybe they’re right to an extent. It certainly does seem like we’ve given them the power to ruin us too”. 

Yibo was quiet for a minute as awareness reached the corners of his eyes.

“Oh my god, Xiao Zhan, are you saying that I did this? That this is my fault?” The color drained from Yibo’s face. 

Xiao Zhan rolled his eyes and screwed up his face. 

“No Yibo! What? No! We were already letting them do this to us before you concocted your grand plan to convince everyone we were enemies. That plan was wholeheartedly necessary because we let them bully us right from the start. I think it was abundantly clear how we felt about each other, and ridiculously clear that we were both gay and lots of the people that had decided they loved us, didn’t like that part of who we were. So they set about trying to beat it out of us. And they thought they had succeeded”. 

Yibo looked at him wearily. “You don’t blame me?”

Xiao Zhan leaned forward and placed a kiss on Yibo’s forehead. “No. Not at all. Honestly, I don't even blame us. I blame the industry. I blame the government for not controlling these fools more. I blame our idol management companies for not protecting us better when we were too young to know better. And I blame them, these “fans”. At some point these masses of individuals are going to have to look at themselves and ask themselves if they are okay with ruining the lives of the people they claim to love. Because that’s exactly what they have been doing”. 

Yibo sighed. “This is a fucking mess, isnt it?”

Xiao Zhan nodded. “I thought it would go like this though, so it's fine. It’s just stressful. I don’t want my parents here to witness this”. 

Yibo nodded. “So what now?”

“We go downstairs and we forge forward with the plan”. 

“The original plan?” asked Yibo. 

“The original plan,”confirmed Xiao Zhan. 

“Even if they try and talk us out of it?”

Xiao Zhan gave Yibo a small smile and deposited him on the ground next to him so they could both stand up. 

“Especially then,” said Xiao Zhan. 

***

Back downstairs, everyone was on their feet huddling around Wang Han. 

“Oh Yibo, good. I was just coming to find you. I need to take an earlier flight, I’m going to get the others and we’ll all head back together”. 

“Should I just come on the later flight then, as planned? We have shooting the day after tomorrow,” said Yibo. 

“Hmm,” began Wang Han. “I spoke with the executives just now and I’m not quite sure what they want. Why don’t you let me head back first and I’ll call you tonight about your flight okay?”

Yibo looked over at Xiao Zhan grimly. They both knew exactly what that meant. 

Wang Han hugged them all goodbye and disappeared through the foyer, out the front door. 

Xiao Zhan’s mother appeared at his elbow then and he wondered if she had been standing there all along. He hadn’t noticed her. He noticed Mrs Wang getting up from her chair outside as well. 

“I’m sorry, Mama. I really didn’t want you to be impacted by this. We didn’t think properly, I guess”. 

She patted his arm and he appreciated that she didn’t share her negative thoughts with him at that moment. She was definitely having them though, he could see it in her eyes. 

“How about some breakfast? Everyone must be hungry,” she suggested. 

She gave Xiao Zhan’s arm a little pat and turned in the direction of the kitchen. Before she could even take a step though, Wang Han appeared back in the living room, startling them all. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “But it seems there is quite a problem outside”.

Xiao Zhan’s stomach plunged for the umpteenth time that morning. He did not hesitate and started for the front door. He could feel Yibo quick on his heels. They threw themselves out onto the path and ended up in the middle of the street, turning in a circle to find the _problem_ Wang Han had been referring to. 

Xiao Zhan turned to the right, where the big cast iron gate that separated their small residential community from the rest of the world was located and he gasped. Yibo grabbed his arm. 

Standing on the other side of the gate was a sea of people screaming their names in conjunction with a bunch of expletives. The crowd was _big_. Xiao Zhan couldn’t see where it ended from his vantage point. 

Jia arrived at Xiao Zhan’s left at the same time that the crowd seemed to notice their presence. Cameras started flashing in their direction and Xiao Zhan was rooted in place out of sheer and utter shock. He stood there, Yibo latched onto his arm, with his mouth hanging wide open as hordes of angry people took his photograph. 

“ _FUCK,”_ exhaled Jia. “What are you two doing? Get inside - _now!_ ”


	5. Chapter 5

“They found our fucking address? How did they find that?” Yibo was pissed. 

Jia rolled her eyes. “Yibo, calm down. Obviously the same way that they found your parents address the first time - someone sold it to them”. 

Yibo ignored her. “Xiao ZHAN! We have to move!” he called out, spinning around in circles looking for his fiance. 

Xiao Zhan was face down on the couch, legs and arms sprawled in every direction. Yibo paused, deciding to leave him there for the time being and give him a moment to himself, despite the fact that their house was filled with people inside, and completely surrounded on the outside. 

“Yibo, didi, I know this is a bad time but I really have to leave. Is there another gate I can leave through?” asked Wang Han. 

“Sorry, Han-ge. Yes of course. I’ll have Jia show you where it is. There is an emergency exit at the back of the compound,” said Yibo apologetically, bowing politely to Wang Han. 

“Jia, take our parents with you and check them into the most secure rooms in that hotel, do you hear me?” commanded Yibo. 

“Yibo, honey, wouldn’t we be safer here?” asked his mom. 

“Ma, you didn’t see the crowd. There’s a gate separating us but what if one of these crazy fools figures out how to scale the walls surrounding the community? I don’t want you here if someone shows up at our house, okay? Please, go with Jia”. 

Yibo’s dad wrapped a hand around her elbow and dragged her in the direction of the back door where Jia was waiting. Xiao Zhan’s parents followed wordlessly, but they did not look happy at all. 

Jia and Wang Han left their parents just as Liling got off the phone. Xiao Zhan didn’t even get off the couch to say goodbye. He just lifted his hand to wave at them, without even lifting his face from the pillow. 

“Okay, I just spoke with the manager of the complex. They called the police, who are on their way to do damage control. But the police said those people aren’t technically on private property so there isn’t much more they can do, except get them off the road and keep the gate clear”.

“I expected as much, why do you think I sent our parents away?” said Yibo with a huff. 

“I’m going to send Juanjuan out to deal with the police when they arrive. They should be here in about ten minutes. But you two? You two need to make a video, and it needs to happen now. I think considering how fast this escalated, we should change the statement to something more neutral,” said Liling, all business. 

But Yibo wasn’t listening to her. He stormed off towards the kitchen and slammed the window closed, fastening the lock and double checking it. 

Liling's statement, however, got a rise out of Xiao Zhan, who shot up from his face-down, prone position on the couch. 

“Yibo and I already talked about this,” he said, rubbing his eyes. 

“Can someone please help me lock all the doors and windows?” shouted Yibo from the kitchen, a touch of panic in his voice.

XueXue, who had been sitting on the armchair opposite Xiao Zhan, got to her feed tiredly. 

“Yibo, what are you doing?” she asked. 

Yibo emerged from the kitchen. “Making sure this place is as secure as it can be. Help me, will you? If they manage to make it onto our property, they’re not getting into this house”. 

He heard XueXue groan, but he also heard her feel clicking over the hardwood floors so he knew she was going to help. 

“You take downstairs, I’ll take upstairs,” he said, voice stern. 

Yibo flew up the stairs two at a time. There were a _lot_ of windows in this house and plenty of doors as well. They had both experienced security breaches before. People who managed to find out what hotels they were staying in and showed up at their doors. People that surrounded their cars in parking lots, refusing to let them go. Over the years both of them have been accosted in airports _multiple_ times. They’ve been mobbed and trapped in elevators. Yibo’s dressing room on set had been compromised by fans _twice_. Yibo never got used to it and each time it happened, he wondered why he was continuing in this line of work at all if his physical safety was constantly at risk.

But these “fans” had never, ever found their personal address before. They had always been safe at home, which was why they spent so much money to make it into the haven they had. When they weren’t working, they rarely went anywhere else. 

And it terrified Yibo that their personal oasis was now compromised, and that _too_ had been taken from them. 

What was it going to take for them to stop? 

As Yibo went from room to room in the house securing all the windows and external doors, his stomach churned as he contemplated the answer. He knew what it was, of course, but he wasn’t quite ready to have that conversation with Xiao Zhan just yet. 

It was one thing to stop working, but Yibo suspected that even if they did that, it would take a long time for these fanatical fans to just leave them alone. Yibo suspected that if they wanted this all to stop for real, once and for all, they would have to disappear. And that meant _more_ hiding of a totally different nature. 

Before Yibo went back downstairs, he called his team of bodyguards _and_ Xiao Zhan’s and requested their presence at the house. Yibo was so done, and he was taking no chances. Between the two of them, they had six bodyguards. That should be enough to protect all the main entry points to the house, except the windows, of course. 

Their protection details were meant for public and work spaces only. They had never been called to the house before, but they all seemed to understand the gravity of the situation and said they would all be here within the hour. 

As he barreled down the stairs back towards the living area, he could hear Xiao Zhan’s strained voice conversing with Liling. 

“Xiao Zhan, can’t you see what is happening right now? If you release a statement saying that the two of you are together and have been all along, it's going to be anarchy, if it isn’t already,” she said, her voice pitching a little. Liling never raised her voice at either of them. It wasn’t her style so Yibo could tell this was wearing on her as well. 

Yibo didn’t say anything as he entered the living room, and let the two of them keep talking.

“You want us to say that we aren’t together. What are people going to say when we actually get married?” asks Xiao Zhan, the frustration in his voice clear as day. 

“Maybe you _shouldn’t be getting married right now_ , Xiao Zhan!” Liling screeched. 

The color drained from Xiao Zhan’s face as he took a noticeable step backwards. Yibo hadn’t even realized that both of them were standing in front of each other, sort of in a stand-off. 

“Liling…” said Yibo in an effort to diffuse the fierce tension in the room. 

Liling whirled on Yibo, turning away from Xiao Zhan. 

“The laws _just_ changed. Can’t you give it some time, let people adjust to the new climate before you go parading your relationship in front of the world? You’re not a nobody, Wang Yibo, this is _going_ to matter to a lot of people, whether you like it or not!”

Liling’s face was pink was anger, something Yibo had almost never seen on her. 

He took a breath. 

“And what about all those people that this _matters for_? What about all those people who can get married now, but don’t have the support of their parents and need to see people around them bravely doing something like this?” asked Yibo in a small voice. 

“Oh my god, is _this_ why you’re doing this?” screeched Liling. “Since _WHEN_ did you want to become a martyr, Yibo?”

Xiao Zhan snorted. “Liling,” he said testily. “That was never actually part of our original conversation. Yibo and I want to get married because we love each other, end of story, but damn, Yibo. I hadn’t even ever thought of that”. Yibo thought Xiao Zhan sounded kind of impressed. 

Yibo shot him a small, supportive smile. Fuck he loved his fiance. 

Liling rolled her eyes and groaned. She threw her hands in the air. 

“Why are you two being so unreasonable about this. Why can’t you just wait?”

Yibo took a step forward, fully intending to answer, but Xiao Zhan beat him to it. 

“You can get married. You can love who you want, date who you want, live with who you want and no one will question anything. Us? We have lived our whole lives not having access to any of those things. Any of them. And so have millions of other Chinese people, for that matter. Suddenly, in a miraculous twist of fate, that has changed, and now _we can_ have those things. Can’t you even for one second understand why we would want them?”

“Xiao Zhan,” she responded, her voice dripping in sarcasm. “You _can’t_ have those things. Can’t you see this? Look at what is happening around you. The law might have changed, but people like you? You should know better, this is not on the table for you”. 

Yibo’s fingers began tingling out of frustration. Had no one listened to them at all in their initial meeting? They had all said they were in this for better or worse, and now it seemed that they were changing their minds. It was obvious Liling had. 

“Does what we want matter to you at all?” he asked. It was a genuine question. 

“Ha!” replied Liling. “I thought you were both smarter than this. I thought you had a better understanding of this industry and the position you hold. How foolish I was. Your fandoms are unbelievable entitled entities. What _you_ want has never mattered. Save for choosing your own jobs, they have dictated every facet of your public life, and the way you have conducted your private lives as well, for that matter. Why did you think this was going to be any different?”

Yibo sighed and exchanged a glance with Xiao Zhan. She was right, he knew that. Xiao Zhan had said much the same thing to him earlier. He had never really seen it that way before, but now he sees it clear as day. It seems that maybe he had been a bit naive - this was never going to go the way they wanted. Which really only left them with one option. 

Had Xiao Zhan known this all along? Was he just waiting for Yibo to catch up, or did he think that they had some small chance of keeping their careers, keeping their fans intact, and forging forward into the next part of their lives together, as well? He wanted to ask him, but he knew this was a conversation for later. 

“So that's it then? Are you saying this is the end of the line, we’re walking away? No other option?”

“Yibo!” XiaoZhan and Liling said at the same time. 

He raised his eyebrows in question at them. Why did this seem like new information to them both?

Even though the couch separated them, Xiao Zhan took a tentative step in his direction. 

“Darling, are you really ready for that? Like really? You _love_ acting,” he said, almost pleadingly. 

“Do you want to go back into the closet?” It was simply a question. Yibo meant what he had said to Xiao Zhan earlier. Even if he didn’t like it, he would follow Xiao Zhan’s lead if he wanted to change the plan. Even if it killed him a little inside. 

When neither Xiao Zhan or Yibo said anything further, Liling took the opportunity as a segway and dove head first into rambling off new ideas. 

“We could say the photos were photoshopped,” she said excitedly. “It’s so hard to tell these days anyway”.

“We already confirmed it was us in the pictures,” said Xiao Zhan tiredly. 

“Yes but we also said we didn’t want to comment further except to confirm that it was the both of you,” she said. 

“Liling, if they were photoshopped we would have released a statement immediately saying so, like we have done countless times in the past,” argued Yibo. 

Her face fell. “Right,” she said, tapping her forefinger on the side of her face, indicating that she was thinking. 

“Ah! What if we say that you weren’t “holding hands” but quickly grabbed each other’s hand to reassure each other that everything was going to be fine now, because you’ve reconciled your feud and want to continue moving forward conflict free in professional spaces?” she suggested. 

Yibo knew that some people _would_ buy that, especially the members of their fandoms that so desperately didn’t want to believe they were gay. They were happier living in denial and would latch onto anything that was a contrary option. But the very thought of pushing that agenda now, _especially_ now, after all this, made Yibo feel sick. 

“I don’t like it,” said Xiao Zhan. 

“What’s to like?” she countered. “The whole thing is already a mess. It's a solution, is what it is”. 

XueXue arrived then with Juanjuan in tow, and Yibo wondered where they had gotten to. He hadn’t even noticed they weren’t here. 

“She’s right,” agreed XueXue. It's a workable solution. Not a perfect one, but it's a solution”. 

Xiao Xhan groaned. “And _then_ what?”

“And then we put you and Yibo on a plane - _separate planes_ \- and ship you off to New Zealand for a month until this dies down. You go back to life as normal, and everything will eventually be fine,” said XueXue.

This again. Fleeing. New Zealand. Fuck this all. 

“You want us to go back into the closet,” said Yibo dejectedly. 

He looked at Xiao Zhan’s crestfallen face and he wanted to hurl. Xiao Zhan looked back at him with a devastating apology written all over him. 

XueXue and Liling both noticed the non-verbal exchange between Yibo and Xiao Zhan. Even though they didn’t say the words, both their managers knew that this was them surrendering in tacit agreement. 

“Excellent! Alright, let’s go into recovery mode. We’ve done this before, we can do this again. You’re both still going to do a video together, we’re just going to change the narrative. You’ll shoot it first thing in the morning and we’ll have you both on planes by the evening. Everything is going to be okay,” said Liling, excitedly. 

Yibo felt the lump forming in his throat only seconds before he felt the hot tears stinging the back of his eyes. He dropped his head and refused to look at any of them as he took off up the stairs. Once inside the bedroom, he slammed the door closed and locked it, as if that would somehow shut out the disaster at their front gate, and all their other problems downstairs. He wasn’t ready to talk to Xiao Zhan. He wasn’t ready to talk to any of them. 

He leaned up against the back of the door and slid down to the floor. This time it was his turn to drop his head in between his knees. He didn’t even try to stop the tears that fell from his eyes. 

If Xiao Zhan felt backed into a corner, if this was their only real option, he’d comply. But it didn’t mean he had to like it.   
  
  
***

Much later that evening, after everyone had left their house, Yibo unlocked the bedroom door. He let Xiao Zhan in, who brought him up a plate of food and they talked. Despite their resolution, Yibo had a hard time sleeping that night. 

***

“Okay, are you ready?” asked Jia. 

Yibo and Xiao Zhan were making the video from their home, despite their objection. They were positioned against one of the while walls in one of the guest rooms and all the artwork and photographs had been taken down so no one could actually claim they were in a house. For all anyone could tell, they could have been sitting in an office in one of their studios - or any other office building in Beijing for that matter. 

Xiao Zhan sighed. “No, not really. But as you said yesterday, when did what we want ever matter?”

Oof, thought Yibo. Xiao Zhan was sassy today. He was never, ever like this with his staff. Yibo reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze. Despite the events of yesterday, he was still Yibo’s partner and they were still in this together. 

Xiao Zhan turned to him. 

“Remember what we talked about last night?” he said, raising an eyebrow at Yibo. 

Yibo nodded. “I’ll say everything, just like we practiced.”

Xiao Zhan gave him a tiny, sad smile and then turned back to their staff. 

“We can start the live feed. We don’t want you in here. Please close the door on your way out,” said Xiao Zhan. 

“What? No, that’s ridiculous!” objected Jia. 

“Look,” said Yibo. “It’s going to be hard enough for us to say these words at all. I know we’re going to have a ridiculously large audience, but we’re turning off the bullet comments, okay? We don’t need you all gawking at us as we say them as well,” explained Yibo. 

“Please,” begged Xiao Zhan. “Afford us this small privacy”. 

They all exchanged small, weighted glances before they all sighed together and began collecting their things. It was beginning to freak Yibo out a bit how in sync the four of them had all become. After they left the room, Yibo got up and locked the door behind them. 

“Are you sure you want to do this as a live, baby?” asked Yibo as he squished back in beside Xiao Zhan on the small bench they were sitting on. 

“It’s the best way,” said Xiao Zhan grimly. They were quiet for a moment. “It’s going to be World War III here afterwards, you know that right?”

“Baby, I’d go to hell and back for you. World War III? I can handle that,” said Yibo lightly. He was trying to disguise just how fucking nervous he was. 

Xiao Zhan leaned in and placed a lingering kiss on Yibo’s mouth. It made his stomach flop about like mad. After nine years, this man still had that effect on him. 

“No matter what happens,” murmured Xiao Zhan. “I love you, okay? I need you to remember that”. 

Yibo beamed at him. “I know”. 

“Ready?” asked Xiao Zhan. 

Yibo nodded. Xiao Zhan lifted his butt from the seat and leaned forward to where the tablet they were using to host their live was mounted. Xiao Zhan counted back from three, and pressed “go live”. 

They waited a couple of seconds before beginning. Yibo noticed that the number of people joining the live was increasing by crazy numbers as every second ticked by. His stomach lurched nervously. 

“Hello, I’m Xiao Zhan”. 

“And I’m Wang Yibo”. 

“We’re here today _together_ because we would like to address the allegations circulating online about the photographs of us that were leaked to the press yesterday,” began Xiao Zhan. 

Yibo took over, just like they had practiced. He took a deep breath. Here went _nothing_ and absolutely _everything_ at the same time. 

“It’s true, the people in the photos are both of us. And it’s true, our hands are joined and we were embracing,” said Yibo, his voice shaking a little. 

“People have been asking about what exactly was happening in the photos and we would like to clear that up right now,” said Xiao Zhan. 

Xiao Zhan and Yibo turned to look at each other briefly. Xiao Zhan nodded. Yibo turned back to the camera. 

Okay Gege, he thought. Let’s do this. 

“The truth is, Xiao Zhan and I are actually a couple,” he said. Yibo heard all kinds of commotion coming from upstairs but he tried not to pay attention to it. “We’ve been a couple for quite a long time now and as you know, the laws in our country have and are changing”. 

Yibo’s hand was shaking violently. Xiao Zhan reached down to hold it tightly as he took the lead.

“We understand that this may come as a shock to many of you, but we have decided that we are no longer going to keep trying to hide our relationship from the world. We have no plans to push it on anyone either, in fact we intend not to, but you may occasionally see us in public together now, so we wanted you to know why,” said Xiao Zhan, far more calmly than Yibo. 

Yibo inhaled, attempting to center himself. 

“We also understand that even though the laws ... have changed, that, that ... doesn’t mean that everyone will easily accept a relationship of this nature. We are asking for your support, but if you can’t give it, we understand. We ask that you go quietly into the night and respect our privacy without causing unnecessary trouble online or in our communities,” he said. 

Yibo coughed, the rest of the words getting stuck in his throat. What he really wanted to do was just tell them all to fuck right off and leave them alone. Xiao Zhan glanced at him sympathetically and jumped in. 

“Some of you may feel like we deceived you, but please understand our privacy and our safety were on the line. We hope you can understand this,” said Xiao Zhan, giving the camera his best puppy dog eyes. Oh he was good. 

“Lastly,” said Xiao Zhan, turning to Yibo now and trained his gaze solely on him. Yibo tried his hardest not to blush. They had practiced this, he knew what was coming, but he was still nervous. 

Xiao Zhan reached out and cupped Yibo’s face in his hands, all the love in the world he had for Yibo spilling from his eyes in his direction. The noise from upstairs got much louder. 

“This is about love,” he said, not taking his eyes off Yibo. “Nothing more. So please don’t use us as a reason to spread hate.” He removed his hands from Yibo’s face and turned back to the camera.

“Thanks for listening,” said Yibo. “We’re going to go now”. 

Xiao Zhan stood up and cut the feed. 

“Are you okay?” Xiao Zhan asked, turning back to face Yibo. 

Yibo flashed his radiant smile at him.

“I’m great. Nervous, but great. Whatever happens out there,” he said, throwing his thumb in the direction of the storm brewing upstairs, “remember I love you, okay?” said Yibo, parroting Xiao Zhan’s own words back at him. 

“I’m sorry about yesterday. I never wanted to upset you, but I never had any intention to get on that plane to New Zealand tonight. I just needed them to stop, and they weren’t going to. I couldn’t see another way other than to “agree” to their plan”. 

Yibo nodded. There really wasn’t much else to say. 

“You ready?” he asked. 

“For them?” asked Xiao Zhan, just as a rapid, violent beating started hammering on the door. 

Xiao Zhan snorted, but he also nodded at the same time. 

They stood together, joined their hands, and made for the door.


	6. Chapter 6

They had rehearsed this part too. As Xiao Zhan reached for the lock on the door, Yibo tightened his grasp on Xiao Zhan’s hand and braced himself for the automatic fire of World War III they were about to endure. 

Xiao Zhan opened the door, and they were all there, standing like The Great Wall of China, blocking their passage into the rest of their home. 

“What the _fucking fuck_?” screamed Jia, not even trying to control herself now. 

“Please move,” said Yibo calmly. 

They did not. In fact, they all crossed their arms over their chests and tightened their line. 

“You little shits. Do you have any idea what you just did?” continued Jia, in a rage. Her face was beet red and she was squinting at them through very tight eyes. 

“Xiao Zhan, how could you do this? What are we even here for if you’re not going to listen to our strategic advice?” asked XueXue. 

“Move,” said Yibo again, this time less pleasantly. 

They stood there in a total standoff. Team Yizhan against Team… whatever they were. 

“Aren’t you going to say _anything_?” implored XueXue. “Don’t you have even a single thing to say for yourself?”

XueXue was looking only at Xiao Zhan. Xiao Zhan remained stoic and silent next to Yibo. He didn’t trust himself not to stumble right now, so he left this part up to Yibo, as they had discussed. Yibo had always been better at standing by what he wanted in the face of hardship and adversity. 

“I said _move!_ ” seethed Yibo. “Don’t forget you’re in our home”.

Yibo took a menacing step forward, tugging Xiao Zhan along with him, indicating to the wall of opposition that they should, indeed, step back. 

They did, but then they paused again. 

Yibo cocked his head at them and stared at them in disbelief. 

“Really, guys?”

It was Juanjuan who sighed and relented first. 

“Come on,” he said, pulling at XueXue’s arm. “He’s right. Let them through”. 

With that, XueXue allowed herself to be pulled back up the stairs by Juanjuan, carving a path for Xiao Zhan and Yibo to make their way past Jia and Liling, who seemed to be so shocked that they had turned to immovable stone. 

Yibo didn’t look back. He pulled Xiao Zhan along with him and thundered up the stairs. He turned the corner as soon as they arrived in the living room and headed for the second staircase that led to their bedroom. As he was about to start taking the stairs two at a time, XueXue’s voice filled the space around them. 

“Wait!” she called. Yibo stilled and turned around. Xiao Zhan followed his lead. 

All four of them were huddled a few feet away from the staircase, like lost scared children. Except XueXue. She looked like a volcano on the verge of explosion. 

Yibo said nothing, but he did raise his eyebrows at her, willing her to continue. 

“Xiao Zhan. I have worked with you since the very beginning, in some capacity or another. How could you pull a stunt like this without telling me? Have you no respect for me and what I bring to this team at all?”

It was a fair question. Both Yibo and Xiao Zhan had anticipated that this was the kind of betrayal that their teams would feel. They just didn't know how to navigate it. None of them understood why Xiao Zhan and Yibo didn’t want to wait to be married, why they couldn’t hold on. And it's very clear they didn’t understand why they no longer felt they could continue living in secret. Both of them hoped in time, that they would all see things their way, but they knew when they decided last night to go ahead with this plan, that they _were_ betraying their team, and so consequences were likely to ensue. 

“I’m sorry,” Xiao Zhan began. 

“Look,” said Yibo, cutting him off. Xiao Zhan was thankful for the rescue. He had no idea what he intended to follow his apology up with. 

“We understand why you feel like that right now. We would too, if the situations were reversed. But we tried repeatedly to help you understand what _we_ wanted and none of you were willing to accept it, not really. So we did what we always said we would do. We went ahead without your blessings,” explained Yibo. 

He looked at Xiao Zhan, wondering if maybe Xiao Zhan wanted to amend or change anything he said. But they had practiced this last night too and Xiao Zhan had told Yibo he didn’t trust himself not to mess this part up. The reality was, he did have a deep respect for XueXue and the work she had done for him over the years. He couldn’t have imagined getting through everything without her, so it hurt him deeply now to think that she didn’t see that. 

But this was his life, and Yibo’s, and their future together. If he kept putting his life on hold to suit the needs and desires of everyone around him, he would never get the chance to live it himself. 

Xiao Zhan just shook his head at Yibo, indicating that he didn't want to add anything and hoped Yibo finished this conversation for them both. 

Yibo softened his voice and cleared his throat.

“We’re going to go upstairs now, and close the door so we can observe and process the reaction to what just happened. You’re welcome to stay here, especially considering the crowd outside and cool off, or you can leave and come back later. We can pick this up when everyone is calmer, don’t you think?” said Yibo. 

Xiao Zhan was impressed. For a non-talker, Yibo was sure killing this game today. 

“If you go upstairs right now, if you don’t deal with this right now Xiao Zhan, I’m done,” said XueXue angrily. 

Xiao Zhan frowned at her. This was definitely not what he wanted, but he expected at least some of them would come to this decision. He didn’t blame them, but that didn't mean he wasn’t saddened by it. 

“I’m sorry you feel that way,” he said, resigned. “I hope you change your mind”. 

With that, he turned around and began trudging up the stairs. This time, it was his turn to drag Yibo along behind him. Yibo grunted, but followed dutifully. 

Of course, they heard objections and all of them calling out both their names as they ascended the stairs, but Xiao Zhan was determined to make it to the safety of their bedroom before his legs gave out on him altogether. 

As soon as they were inside their room, Xiao Zhan dropped Yibo’s hand and darted for the bed. He heard Yibo close and lock the door behind them, ensuring they had some semblance of privacy for now. 

Xiao Zhan flopped down on his back, throwing his arms above his head. He allowed his eyes to close for a moment. He felt the mattress impress next to him, indicating that Yibo had joined him. Xiao Zhan rolled over and opened his eyes. Yibo was sitting on the bed next to him, his legs crossed, waiting patiently. 

“You okay?” Yibo asked him. 

Xiao Zhan nodded. “I’m okay. Honestly, as hard as it was facing them just now, I feel … relieved? I don’t know if that is the right word. I have been wanting to claim you since the first time I saw you, and I haven’t been able to. I’ve watched the media engulf you in love scandals with women, even other men, and I haven’t been able to say or do _anything_ to defend what we have. I know this is going to be _so_ hard Yibo. Is it selfish that I feel so …. light right now?”

Yibo let out a small laugh and flopped down next to him, sprawling his long legs out and curling them around Xiao Zhan’s body. Xiao Zhan always enjoyed physical closeness with Yibo, but it felt especially comforting right now.He maneuvered his arm under Yibo’s head so he was cradling the man on his shoulder and he covered Yibo’s hand that was resting on Xiao Zhan’s belly. 

Yibo angled his head up towards Xiao Zhan’s and placed a soft kiss on his chin, clearly intending it to be just that. 

“Me too, Gege,” he said. "By the way, I had to endure the same with you, you know?"

"I know, didi, I know. And I hated every minute of it".

Yibo just murmured in agreement.

Xiao Zhan concentrated on the feeling of Yibo’s heart beating against Xiao Zhan’s chest for a moment, letting the soft rhythm wash over him and keep him grounded in this moment. 

“Do you think they will ever forgive us?” asked Xiao Zhan softly. 

“The fans?” clarified Yibo. 

“No, the team - our employees”. 

“Oh. Honestly, I’m not sure. It could go either way at this point”. 

Yibo leaned down and placed a kiss on Xiao Zhan’s shoulder. 

“Zhan-ge?” murmured Yibo. 

“Mn?”

“Do you want to look?” asked Yibo. 

Although the question wasn’t entirely clear, Xiao Zhan knew what Yibo meant. Did he want to go online yet and see the reaction to their video. 

Xiao Zhan did want to look, but he knew there was something else they needed to do first. He disentangled himself from his lover and sat up. He crossed his legs under him and turned to face Yibo. 

“I think we need to call our parents first, Yibo. We didn’t even give them a heads up that we were doing this, and I _feel bad_ ,” said Xiao Zhan painfully. 

Then Xiao Zhan remembered that their parents weren’t the only ones hauled up in that hotel around the corner.

“Oh my god, Yibo! Our friends! We need to call them and get them back here for dinner or something. They must be so upset with us!”

Xiao Zhan groaned and flopped down on the bed. 

Yibo sat up and grabbed Xiao Zhan’s hands and pulled him into a sitting position. 

“Baobao, breathe. We don’t have to do everything all at once,” said Yibo. 

“I know Yibo, but they're our family. Our friends. They protected us when we needed it the most. We need to do the same for them. Or at least try,” said Xiao Zhan. 

Yibo exhaled, nodding. 

“You’re right. Parents first?”

“Parent’s first,” said Xiao Zhan, pulling his phone out of his pocket. 

He disabled the screen lock and dialed his mother’s number. He activated the speakerphone and placed the phone down on the mattress between himself and Yibo. She picked up on the first ring. 

“ _XIAO ZHAN!_ ” she yelled. 

Xiao Zhan _and_ Yibo flinched in unison. 

“You’re upset,” he said. It wasn’t a question. 

“Of course we’re upset! Have you been online? Some of the things people are saying. Where did they learn such things? Have they no heart at all? You’re a human being for god’s sake. I don’t understand how people can be so utterly cruel. Especially to a pair of individuals like yourselves who try to do the right thing all the time! Honestly!”

Xiao Zhan looked at Yibo and raised both eyebrows. Yibo returned the perplexed expression. 

“Ma, hold on okay? We’re going to conference in Yibo’s parents too so we don’t have to have this conversation twice,” he told her. 

“Don’t bother, we’re all right here together”. 

Xiao Zhan shrugged. That was convenient. 

“You’re upset,” he said again. “But you don’t sound mad…”

“Oh we’re all plenty mad. But not with you boys. We’re mad at the vultures out there that allegedly call themselves your fans! These people don't even know the real you. How can they judge you like this? Its abhorrent!”

“Hi Mama, hi Mama Xiao,” said Yibo in his perfectly respectful i'm-talking-to-elders voice. “We haven’t looked yet. Is it really that bad?”

“Yibo, sweetheart,” said his father desperately. “You sound okay!”

 _Sweetheart?_ Xiao Zhan had never heard Yibo’s father call him anything other than his name. All terms of endearments came from his mother’s mouth only. Xiao Zhan felt like this was a real testament to just how worried their parents were about them. 

Despite this, Xiao Zhan covered his mouth with both his hands to stop himself from giggling. _Sweetheart!_ Xiao Zhan was never going to let Yibo live this down. Yibo rolled his eyes at him, his ears turning a little pink.

“Baba, i’m okay. I’m good. I feel relieved, you know?”

“We both do,” said Xiao Zhan. “We know that might not last long once we go online, but we wanted to take a minute to just … allow ourselves to feel good about this”.

“You boys stay off that demonic place until you’re ready okay?” said Xiao Zhan’s mama. 

“Ma, you know we can’t do that. We’re going to have to face the music sooner rather than later. But we wanted to call and see how you were. Has anyone tried bothering you at the hotel?” asked Xiao Zhan.

“No darling, we’re all good here. Though honey, how much longer do you think we will have to stay here. Can we go home soon?”

“Ma, you’re not a prisoner. You can go home whenever you want. We just thought this might be an appropriate precaution until all this dies down a bit. Neither of you live in secure buildings,” said Xiao Zhan. 

“Has the crowd at the gate left yet?”

Xiao Zhan had no idea. He looked at Yibo. Yibo just shrugged his shoulders. 

“I’m going to call the gate security and find out right now, okay mama Xiao? I’ll be right back,” said Yibo. 

Yibo glided off the bed and headed into their ensuite bathroom and closed the door so as not to interrupt Xiao Zhan’s call. 

“We’re sorry we didn’t tell you all,” said Xiao Zhan. “They were trying to put us on a plane to _New Zealand_ and we just didn’t want that. This is our lives, you know?”

“We know, Zhanzhan, we know. We understand okay? We love you no matter what. What you did was very brave. We really hope that people see that soon,” said his dad. 

“Thanks Ba” said Xiao Zhan smiling warmly. “Can I ask a question…”

“Sure son, what is it?”

“Are _all_ the comments and responses negative and horrible?”

“No darling,” said mama Wang. “There are some people thanking you both for speaking out, there are people wishing you nothing but love and happiness. The hate is just much louder, that’s all. You know how it goes”. 

Xiao Zhan sighed. At least now he had some semblance of what to expect when they went online later. 

Yibo emerged from the bathroom then, shaking his head. 

“I think we made it worse,” he said. 

“The crowd?” asked Xiao Zhan. 

Yibo pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth and nodded. “The guards said they’ve had to call for reinforcements. The police got everyone off the road and put up taped off barricades where these idiots could stand so the road was clear, but the crowd is still growing apparently,” said Yibo loud enough so everyone on the phone could hear. 

Xiao Zhan gnashed his lips together, thinking. 

“Oh!” he said, after a moment of clipped silence. “I have an idea”. 

“Why don’t we get you one of the short term rentals up the other end of this complex. It's gated, they’re safe, and we can hire some security to guard the entrances of the house just in case. They rent a few of the villas down there by the week. Would you like that? At least you wouldn’t be in the hotel and you would still be close by if you need us,” suggested Xiao Zhan. 

Yibo’s face illuminated. Clearly, he thought Xiao Zhan’s idea was great. 

“Mama, if you want your own house, we can get two. It’s no trouble at all. And it's just temporary, okay?” offered Yibo. 

The line was silent for a moment. Xiao Zhan wished they had video called so they could see what was happening in the hotel room. 

“Hi son,” came a soft, older voice. 

“Hi Ba!” said Yibo. 

“We think we would like that, yes. If it’s no trouble. Don’t worry about two houses. That’s excessive. We are all okay together for now,” he said. 

Yibo smiled happily. Xiao Zhan loved that damn smile. 

“Okay Ba, I’ll organize that for you today and call you back later, okay?”

They said their goodbyes then, and disconnected the call. 

They called their friends next, but that call was much shorter. They organized for their bodyguards to pick up their friends in a little while and bring them back to the house for the night. They had some mighty ass kissing to do. 

Yibo and Xiao Zhan decided not to go anywhere near Weibo until their friends were with them later. Two birds, one stone, Xiao Zhan had suggested. 

Yibo arranged for their parents to be moved into one of the short-term rental villas at the end of the compound for just a few days for now. When they had organized everything they felt like they needed to, they looked at each other. 

“Should we take a small look?” asked Yibo sheepishly. 

Xiao Zhan shook his head. “I’m not ready”. 

“Okay then. That just leaves them,” said Yibo. 

_Them_ . Xiao Zhan knew exactly who _them_ was. 

“Yibo darling, do you think we could just … _not_ right now? I’m not ready to go down there just yet. I think I need to sleep a little, is that okay?”

Yibo nodded, sidling up and wrapping his body around Xiao Zhan’s. 

“Sure, boaboa. Let’s take a nap then”. 

Some people might have called what they spent their afternoon doing _avoidance_. Xiao Zhan called it self-preservation.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I mean, what do you think they will ask? Are they going to ask us about our sex life? Yibo!! I don’t want to talk about our sex life on television!!!! They already know we’re together, they already know we’re gay, they already know where we live, what other questions are there to ask us that they can really ask us on television? Oh my god…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay folks, I know I've been updating like a mad person - sorry for all the rapid updates but I can't seem to stop writing. This story is beating at my brain, begging for me to get it out. However, although its the third chapter update in the last 12 hours, it is a shorter one and it is the last one for tonight. I'm going to regroup and iron out the details of the upcoming "Great Yizhan Television Heist" that is expected to ensue...

Yibo was not so gently pulled from his slumber by the shrill sound of his phone chirping. He grumpily disentangled all his limbs from Xiao Zhan, who also seemed to be rousing at the noise, and reached over to the nightstand for his phone. 

“Wei?” said Yibo groggily. 

“Yibo, didi. It’s Han-ge. You don’t sound so good. How are you holding up?”

“Han-ge,” said Yibo, sitting up straight, trying to wake up. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes sloppily. “I’m okay, we took a nap”.

“Oh, I didn’t mean to wake you,” apologized Wang Han. 

“It’s okay,” he replied. “I knew you would call at some point this afternoon”. 

When Wang Han didn’t respond right away, Yibo’s stomach lurched a little. Xiao Zhan sat up next to him now, also attempting to rub the sleep from his eyes. 

“Han-ge,” said Yibo. “Is it okay if I put you on speaker phone? It's just me and Xiao Zhan here”.

“Yes, didi, of course”. 

So Yibo pulled the phone from his ear, clicked speaker phone and placed the phone between himself and Xiao Zhan, just like they had done earlier that day. 

“Okay, we’re good now. What is happening? Am I flying to Changsha tomorrow?”

Wang Han paused momentarily again. “Not exactly, Yibo”. 

Yibo shared a glance with Xiao Zhan. His mouth went desert dry.

“Han-ge, you can tell me. Are they firing me?”

Yibo heard Wang Han sigh loudly on the other end. He was always such a composed man. Exasperation wasn’t something Yibo thought he had ever witnessed from Wang Han so it surprised him now. 

“Honestly Yibo, I don’t know. I don’t even think they know”. 

Yibo pulled his eyes together. 

“What does that mean, exactly?”

“Yibo, please understand, I told them I didn’t think I should be the one to have this conversation with you, that it would be better coming from them, but they seem completely confounded with the turn of events these past days and they don’t really know how to respond,” said Wang Han. He was _definitely_ exasperated. 

“It’s okay, Han-ge. Just say it,” prompted Yibo. 

There was no point beating around the bush. 

“Yibo, they were shocked by your revelation today. They just don’t know what to do, especially considering the public response to you both has been so mixed,” explained Wang Han.

“Hi Han-ge, this is Xiao Zhan”.

“Oh yes, hi Xiao Zhan, how are you holding up?” asked Wang Han.

Yibo thought it was nice of him to ask. 

“Fine thanks, we haven’t been online since we disconnected the live feed. We sort of called our parents and just went to bed”. 

“Ah, I see. Well, I suggest you do then, because it's quite a circus”.

Xiao Zhan rolled his eyes. “To be expected, I suppose,” he said. 

“Yes, yes. But it's not all bad. Boys, there are a _lot_ of gay people posting their thanks for your bravery. Whatever else happens, I think you’ve inspired a lot of people and given them strength. Try to remember that okay?”

Yibo smiled softly. Wang Han always did try to find the silver lining in any dumpster fire. 

“Cleary, it's not all good though,” prompted Xiao Zhan. 

“Well no. Maybe you should turn on the television before you try and navigate Weibo,” suggested Wang Han. 

“We are on _television_?” asked Yibo skeptically. 

“Goodness, you’re absolutely _all_ over it," exasperated Wang Han. Yibo couldn't tell if Han-ge's exasperation was appreciative or not. He didn't ask. 

Yibo looked at Xiao Zhan, who looked like he had seen a ghost. 

“Thanks for the tip, Han-ge. We’ll do that,” said Yibo politely. 

“Okay didi, but here is what I am really calling about. The executives think they want you and Xiao Zhan to come to Changsha - not tomorrow, don’t worry - and do a live taping with me and Hi Jiong, answering questions and fleshing out the statements you both made today. They feel there is so much left to ask and the public is kind of losing it not knowing everything. I think after that happens, they’ll gauge the public approval rating and determine if they can keep you on as a host here,” explained Wang Han.

Yibo’s eyebrows shot up in surprise as he digested Wang Han’s words. An exclusive with Han-ge and Hi Jiong? To talk more about their relationship? _On television_ ? That wasn’t something either of them had even remotely considered would be a possibility. They had expected they would need to release several online statements after they made their announcement and possibly field questions at future interviews but they didn't for one second think that a television studio would want to run a whole show about it - about _them_. He actually thought, if Hunan kept him on, that they would just pretend the whole thing never happened. 

Yibo had _no_ idea what to think or how to feel. So he did the one thing he always did when he felt lost: he looked at Xiao Zhan. 

Xiao Zhan looked like he had swallowed a bee. 

Yibo sighed. “I don’t know Han-ge. You know I’m not good at talking like that”. 

“Hmm, I know didi. I think that is why they want myself and Hi Jiong to facilitate the conversation. They know you are very comfortable with us both”. 

“But the audience… they will make me nervous. What if there are haters there?”

“Oh I left that part out. It would be a totally closed set that day. Just us and the crew”.

Yibo looked back at Xiao Zhan, trying to get a reading on how his fiance was feeling about this, but Xiao Zhan’s expression hadn’t changed. 

“Plus,” added Wang Han. “You would have Xiao Zhan with you this time. He has always been good at catching you when you fall in conversation”. 

“Han-ge, I honestly am not sure Xiao Zhan would be comfortable with this whole thing”. 

Yibo hoped that statement would prompt Xiao Zhan to say something. Wang Han clearly hoped that as well because the man didn’t respond. When it was clear that Xiao Zhan wasn’t intending to say anything, Yibo hesitantly reached out and tapped his knee. That seemed to rouse Xiao Zhan from wherever he was in his head, and he cleared his throat. 

“Uh sorry, sorry. I’m here. I uh… I don’t really know what to say,” responded Xiao Zhan unhelpfully. Not that Yibo could blame him. It was a lot to take in. 

“What if we said no? Would that mean I’m fired? Is this, like, a condition of my continued employment?” asked Yibo. 

Wang Han sighed again. “I don’t know, Yibo. Like I said before, I don’t think they know either”. 

“So my future at Day Day Up depends entirely on how the public ends up receiving this in the long run?” asks Yibo.

“The executives felt that by the pair of you speaking a little more candidly about the umm _issues_ you raised today, you would have greater chances of controlling the narrative and having it swing in your favor. Didi, despite the fact that they are businessmen, you have been a part of our family here for so long and they love you too. I think it would pain them greatly to have to let you go over this”. 

“We’ll do it,” said Xiao Zhan. 

“What?” retorted Yibo. He had not seen that coming. 

“Do you not want to?” Xiao Zhan asked him.

“I just … I mean, do _you_ want to?” Yibo asked him back. 

Xiao Zhan paused, clearly thinking how to choose his words next. “Yibo, darling, I don’t want any of this. I wanted to be able to declare my love for you, get married, then go back to work and get on with our lives. But that isn’t what happened. Han-ge is right, this might be a chance for us to control the narrative and hopefully save your job”. 

Yibo was quiet for a few moments while he digested Xiao Zhan’s words. 

“Look, I can tell them you need a day or two to think about it, if you need,” suggested Wang Han. “I’m sure they would understand that”. 

But Yibo knew he would feel this mixed up about the whole thing in three days or three weeks even if they did decide to go ahead with it. While they had wanted to _tell_ the world who they really were and what they were doing, they never had any intention of actually letting the public into the inner workings of it all. _This_ would be doing exactly that. 

But Yibo also knew that they were all correct - this was an unprecedented chance for them to control the narrative. 

“It’s okay, we’ll do it,” Yibo said in a small voice. 

“Are you sure?” clarified Wang Han. 

Yibo snorted. “No, but we will do it anyway. But Han-ge, I don't want to wait a week or anything like that. If this really is about controlling the message, I want to do it now. Like in the next two or three days,” said Yibo. 

Xiao Zhan inhaled sharply. 

“Sorry Zhan-ge, but I want all this mess over. One way or the other, I want to know where we stand. The sooner we do, the sooner we can make whatever plans we need to move forward with our lives,” explained Yibo. 

“That’s very mature of you Yibo, as always. Xiao Zhan, are you okay with that timeline?” asked Wang Han. 

“Umm, if that’s what Yibo wants, then I’ll make sure I am”. 

Yibo reached out and rubbed his leg appreciatively. Love you, Gege. 

“Okay boys, then why don’t you turn the television on and check out the news and I’m going to go and relay this to management”. 

“Han-ge, before you go…”

“Yes didi?”

“Are you upset with me? I didn’t give you any notice or share these plans with you. I hope I didn’t hurt you”. 

“Oh didi. When I sat at your dinner table the other night and you said that the pair of you were tired of hiding, I knew this was coming. This isn’t about me. I love you all the same. I just want you to be safe and happy,” said Wang Han warmly. 

Yibo let out a breath he didn’t even realize that he had been holding. 

“Thanks Han-ge, that means a lot”. 

“Okay didi,” said Han-ge, making to end the call. 

“One more thing … I haven’t heard from Feng-ge or Zhangwei since you went back to Changsha. Are they made at me? I thought they would have at least text me”. 

“Oh no, didi, no. I told them to give you just a bit of breathing room. Qian Feng was ready to jump back on a plane and come and support you any way he could. I expect you’ll probably hear from them in a day or two”. 

“Ah okay, well thanks Han-ge”. 

“You two take care of yourselves okay? And be careful”. 

“We will,” they said together, and hung up the call. 

Before Yibo even had a second to collect himself, Xiao Zhan instantly started talking at him. 

“My god, they want us to go on TELEVISION and discuss our relationship? We need to prepare talking points, things we’re okay with them asking, things that we’re not. Jesus we need to tell our parents, we can’t _forget_ to tell them this, this is huge! At least there will be no audience. At least its Hi Jiong and Wang Han. At least we know they love us and respect us enough not to back us into a godforsaken corner,” exclaimed Xiao Zhan. 

Yibo, somewhat shocked by his outburst, just watched on as Xiao Zhan got up off the bed and started pacing the floor in front of him. 

“I mean, what do you think they will ask? Are they going to ask us about our _sex_ life? Yibo!! I don’t want to talk about our sex life on television!!!! They already know we’re together, they already know we’re gay, they already know where we live, what other questions are there to ask us that they can really ask us on television? Oh my god…”

Yibo jumped up then, noticing the tell-tale signs. He placed his body in front of Xiao Zhan to stop the man pacing and get him to look into Yibo’s eyes. 

“Zhan-ge, stop!” said Yibo. “You’re panicking”.

“Yes, Yibo! I’m panicking! Come join me, why don’t you!!”

Yibo placed both of his hands on Xiao Zhan’s hips and pulled him forward, pressing Xiao Zhan’s overstimulated body against his own. Xiao Zhan took a breath then, and looked down into Yibo’s eyes. 

“I don’t know the answers to any of your questions,” Yibo said quietly. “But I do like the idea of us preparing a list of “no-go’s” for the interview. If the executives are not okay with us zoning some aspects of this as off limits, then we’ll pull out okay? We _don’t_ have to do this if you don’t want to”. 

“But Yibo, your job…”

Yibo pulled him tighter still against his body. “It’s a job, Xiao Zhan. Do I love it? Yes. It's probably my favorite job I’ve ever had. But I love you more. We made a pact that we would make all decisions regarding this process together, so if you are doing this just for me, and you don’t want to do it, then we won't. Fuck, I’m not even sure I want to do it”. 

“Then why did you agree to it?” asked Xiao Zhan.

“Hmm, I do like the idea of attempting to control the narrative. Zhan-ge, if we can’t control it after something like that, we’re never going to be able to and I’m going to get tired of this _circus_ ,” said Yibo, using Wang Han’s words, “very soon. I’ve run out of patience with other people judging us and trying to tell us what we’re allowed to do and how to live our lives. This is why we decided to do this in the first place. If this continues for an extended period of time, I’ll probably quit, whether you do or not”. 

“Yibo…”

“I don’t mean that to sound like pressure. It’s just something I’ve been thinking about. Aren’t you tired?” he asked Xiao Zhan.

Xiao Zhan exhaled and wrapped his own arms around Yibo now too. “So very _fucking_ tired”. 

“So we’ll do the show?”

Xiao Zhan nodded. "Yes _sweetheart_ ," Xiao Zhan said in a playful tone that Yibo knew was intended to mock him for his father's use of the word earlier. “We’ll do the show”. 

Yibo leaned in and pressed his lips over Xiao Zhan’s. He intended it to be a quick, soft reassuring kiss that everything was going to be okay, but Xiao Zhan deepened it immediately, and pushed his tongue between Yibo’s lips and curled it around Yibo’s own. Xiao Zhan turned them and guided them backwards towards the bed. The back of Yibo’s knees hit the side of the bed and they fell together onto the mattress. 

Xiao Zhan crawled on top of Yibo and intensified the kiss. 

Remembering what time it was, Yibo unhappily pulled away away from Xiao Zhan's lips. “Zhan-ge,” he said breathily. “Our friends will be here in like, maybe forty minutes”. 

Xiao Zhan hiked up a knee and used it to rub Yibo’s groin through his pants. Yibo let out an involuntary groan. 

“But I thought… I thought we were going to turn on the television?” asked Yibo. 

Yibo had no idea why he was fighting this. They hadn’t had sex for _days_. Sex was exactly what they both needed right now. 

“Fuck the television,” said Xiao Zhan as he dove back down and imprisoned Yibo’s lips in an assault. 

Fuck the television indeed.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The woman nodded. “We’re all part of “The Truth About Yizhan” alliance. We were all fans of one or the other up until this week. We feel utterly betrayed and used and they need to explain themselves”. 
> 
> Xiao Zhan groaned. He understood that they lied. They had deceived everyone. But Xiao Zhan was having a hard time reconciling the idea that they could do anything other than provide an explanation. Which they had already done. 

When Xiao Zhan and Yibo finally ventured out of their bedroom, sated, very relaxed and fully clothed once again, they found their house otherwise empty. Xiao Zhan expected as much - why would any of them have stuck around to lick their wounds in their house? - but it still caused a sharp pang to surge through his chest. He really hoped that once this all settled down, he would be able to restore his relationships with XueXue and Juanjuan. Whether that was possible, Xiao Zhan really had no idea.

All their friends, along with his and Yibo’s bodyguards arrived from the hotel soon after they went downstairs. Xiao Zhan ordered a mountain of pizza and everyone threw themselves down onto various couches in the living room, although their bodyguards did go back to manning the entry points to the house. Xiao Zhan was going to have to figure out how to send them all on an expenses paid vacation after this was all over. This went above and beyond what they were hired to do. 

Xiao Zhan was seated on one of the two-seaters they had in their enormous living room. They had multiple couches, so there was definitely enough space for everyone. Ayunga and Yunlong sat on a couch opposite him, and Lulu and Zhuocheng to his right. Xiao Zhan regarded them carefully. They were sitting awfully close, smooshed all up next to each other on that couch. That didn’t seem like normal behavior for them. 

He tilted his head and lifted his eyebrow at them, but before he had a chance to say anything, Yibo emerged from the kitchen with two bottles of wine and a bunch of wine glasses. He placed it on the coffee table and began pouring glasses for everyone. Then, when everyone had a glass of wine in their hand, Yibo sauntered over to where Xiao Zhan was sitting and threw himself down on cushion next to Xiao Zhan. He turned and leaned backwards, placing his head in Xiao Zhan’s lap and threw his legs over the end of the couch. Xiao Zhan’s free hand - the one that wasn't holding a wine glass - fell to Yibo’s hair and he began pulling his fingers through it. Yibo purred happily, like a cat. 

“Have any of you checked in at home? To see if there is any disturbance you need to worry about?” asked Xiao Zhan. “We’re really sorry for asking you to stay. We just want you all safe”. 

“Zhanzhan,” said Yunlong. Yunlong had a leg hitched up over Ayunga’s lap. “We didn’t stay here with you because we were worried about intrusion from your angry fans”. 

Xiao Zhan cocked his head, surprised. “Then why did you stay?”

“Xiao _Zhan_ ,” scolded Zhuocheng. “We stayed because we thought you both might need the support. The six of us may not be blood, but we’ve all been through a lot together and we consider you our family”. 

Xiao Zhan’s heart flopped around in his chest. 

“You guys are gonna make Xiao Zhan cry if you keep saying things like that. Baobao has been a little emotional the last two days,” said Yibo, matter-of-factly. 

Xiao Zhan gently swatted Yibo on the top of his head. “Gremlin,” retorted Xiao Zhan. 

Yibo chuckled. 

“We’ll stay as long as you need,” said Ayunga.

Xiao Zhan smiled at them. Man, there was a lot of love in this room. Despite everything they were going through, he was lucky. More people loved him than he deserved. Not everyone was so lucky to be surrounded by that. 

“We don’t _need_ you here. Yibo and I are going to have to deal with this ourselves, but we are happy you’re here and you’re welcome to stay as long as you want,” he said. 

“Okay, okay,” said Yibo, pulling himself up out of Xiao Zhan’s lap into a sitting position. “Enough with all the gooey stuff, you’re going to make me jealous, and we know how that will end up”.

Xiao Zhan just snorted. 

“We need to go online, we need to look, Zhan-ge. You said you wanted to wait till they were all here. Well, they’re all here and the waiting is killing me,” complained Yibo, like a baby. 

“Hold on!” said Xiao Zhan quickly, before they could take the conversation elsewhere.

Yibo groaned loudly in protest. 

Xiao Zhan ignored him and whirled around on Lulu and Zhuocheng. 

“Is there something you would like to share with us?” he asked, raising his eyebrow and smirking. 

Lulu’s cheeks instantly turned pink and Zhuocheng nearly choked on his wine. 

Xiao Zhan tapped his nose. “Thought so”. 

“You thought what?” asked Yibo, utterly clueless.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” said Zhuocheng, recovering. 

Xiao Zhan put his glass down. “Oh come _on_ , it’s written absolutely ALL over the two of you. It’s clear as day. You see it, right?” asked Xiao Zhan, turning to Ayunga and Yunlong. 

Yunlong and Ayunga just looked up at the ceiling like they couldn’t even hear Xiao Zhan at all. 

“Ha!” he exclaimed. “They see it too! Spill”. 

“See _what ?_ ” asked Yibo again. 

Xiao Zhan turned to his fiance. “Yibo darling, our beloved friends over here are doing the dance-with-no-pants, just like we were this afternoon,” explained Xiao Zhan slowly. 

Ayunga and Yunlong groaned at the TMI Xiao Zhan had just revealed about their afternoon bedroom antics, but Yibo’s eyes shot up, round as saucers. 

“You guys are _fucking_?”

Lulu looked like she was going to pass out. Zhuocheng, however, was now putting down his own wine glass, exasperation radiating off his entire frame. 

Ayunga let out a strangled noise at Yibo’s frank question. 

“That ruins friendships you know, you better be careful,” said Yibo, like he felt as if it was his duty to let them know. 

“Darling,” said Xiao Zhan patiently. “I don’t think they are just having sex”. 

Yibo tilted his head at Xiao Zhan like a confused puppy. 

It took a few seconds, but awareness finally pulled at Yibo’s eyes. “Wait are you guys, like, a _couple_?”

“Bingo!” said Xiao Zhan. 

“Wait, hold on,” started Zhuocheng. 

But Yibo was on a roll now. He whirled around to face Ayunga and Yunlong. 

“And you assholes knew all along and didn’t tell us? What’s up with that, why are we left out of the circle of information?”

Xiao Zhan sat back and grinned deviously as he took a long sip of his wine. 

Yibo, apparently, was done.

“Look, we wanted to tell you,” said Zhuocheng defensively. 

“But you didn’t!” said Yibo. “And you told them! We see how it is”. 

Yibo’s voice sounded unbelievably serious but Xiao Zhan knew he was just messing around. He wondered how long it would take Zhuocheng to figure that out. 

“We didn’t! They figured it out at the hotel!”

While Zhuocheng was clearly flailing, Lulu sank back into the couch and seemed to be focussing on something sternly in her wine glass.

Xiao Zhan decided to put them out of their misery. 

“We’re happy for you, really!”

Lulu looked up then and gave him the most sheepish smile he had ever seen her produce. Zhuocheng relaxed a little, and leaned up against her shoulder. 

“We’ve been friends for like, almost ten years. And you’re just hooking up now? How does that happen? Oh my god, please don’t tell me you’ve been banging all this time and hid it from us for years on end?” squealed Yibo way too dramatically. 

“Oh, Wang _Yibo_ ,” exhaled Yunlong, as his head fell into his hands. "Please, never change". 

Xiao Zhan giggled.

“No Yibo!” said Zhuocheng impatiently. “It's new. A couple of months old”. 

“I’m messing with you asshole. I knew it had to be new,” said Yibo chuckling. “What Xiao Zhan said though. We’re super happy for you”. 

“Yes,” said Yunlong and Ayunga at the same time. 

Zhuocheng and Lulu exchanged a private non-verbal communication that was interrupted by the chirping of Xiao Zhan’s phone. 

“I think the pizza is here,” he said. 

Yibo groaned loudly. “Now you’re just stalling. You can’t avoid this forever Xiao Zhan!”

“I’m not stalling, Yibo. I’m hungry!” said Xiao Zhan as he got up to go and collect the pizza. 

But deep down in the pits of Xiao Zhan’s stomach, he knew his fiance was right. He was doing everything he could to delay the inevitable. Their bubble was about to burst, and he wasn’t looking forward to it at all. 

***

After everyone was sufficiently stuffed full of pizza, Xiao Zhan made sure their bodyguards came in and ate as well. They didn’t stay though, preferring to take their food back to their stationed posts. 

“That’s it,” said Yibo, throwing down his napkin. “I’m turning on the television, Xiao Zhan, and you can’t stop me”. 

Yibo pushed his chair backwards and sauntered over to the living room. He picked up the remote control and turned on the television. Due to their ridiculously large open living plan, Xiao Zhan could both see and hear the television from his vantage point at the table. He cleared his throat and pushed his chair back, closing pizza boxes and piling them on top of each other. 

Ayunga set about trying to help him, but Xiao Zhan swatted his hands away. 

“Please don’t. You’re our guests, go and sit - if you can stomach the news report. Otherwise, please feel free to lounge on the deck. I’ll be out as soon as I’ve cleared this away”. 

Everyone at the table shot Xiao Zhan sidelong glances. Xiao Zhan knew they saw straight through him, but he didn’t care. 

He picked up the boxes and disappeared into the kitchen. He could still hear the television, but he could no longer see it. 

“Oh my god,” he heard Yibo exclaim from the living room. “Zhan-ge, we’re on _so_ many channels. I can’t believe this!”

Xiao Zhan couldn’t tell from the tone of Yibo’s voice whether he was happy about that or not. He decided not to respond. 

“Oh fuck,” he heard from Yibo again. 

Xiao Zhan just cleared his throat and set about moving leftover pizza from the boxes to plates. He took out the plastic covering and took his time unrolling it from the box and carefully and slowly making sure every inch of the plate of leftovers was properly sealed. 

Xiao Zhan had started humming to himself the moment he entered the kitchen so as to distract himself from the noise belting through their house from the television.

Xiao Zhan turned around and opened the refrigerator, moving things around to make room for the plate of pizza. When he turned back around, he was face-to-face with Ayunga. 

“Xiao Zhan, sweetheart, I really think you need to come out here,” he said gravely. 

Xiao Zhan sighed. Ayunga reached for Xiao Zhan’s hand and threaded their fingers together and began moving in the direction of the living room, pulling Xiao Zhan along beside him. 

In the living room, everyone was standing, seemingly unable to sit. Yibo was standing in the middle of the room with his mouth hanging open. Instead of releasing his hand altogether upon their arrival, Ayunga linked elbows with Xiao Zhan and pulled him in close. 

Xiao Zhan willed himself to focus on the television. 

It took him a minute, but what he saw was the front gate of his own housing complex, completely utterly surrounded by people - far more people than had been there the last time he had seen it. 

There were news crews everywhere, trying to get their piece of the action. 

For some reason, Xiao Zhan was having trouble focusing his ears on the audio. 

“Yibo, turn the volume up please,” he said. 

The sound of his voice seemed to pull Yibo out of his stone-like trance and he turned to look at Xiao Zhan. Yibo closed his mouth, but he nodded, and did as Xiao Zhan asked. 

A reporter was interviewing a girl. Girl was probably the wrong word. This person was definitely a grown woman. 

“Why are you here?” asked the reporter.

“This is the home of Wang Yibo. Or Xiao Zhan, we’re not sure,” she explained as if that answer was obvious. 

“It’s probably both their homes,” called someone angrily from the background. 

“Pathetic liars!” screamed someone else, equally as angry. 

The reporter turned her attention back to the subject she was interviewing. 

“Do you know this for sure?” asked the reporter. 

“The address was posted on Weibo, so we weren’t really sure. But then some of us showed up here much earlier and they saw both Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo stumble out of the house. They were definitely holding onto each other and they definitely seemed surprised to see the crowd gathered here. So yeah, it's definitely one of their houses, or both, like they said”. The woman threw her thumb over her shoulder, indicating that she was talking about the people behind her. 

“Wait, _what_?” asked Xiao Zhan. Nobody answered him. How did their address end up on Weibo?

“But why are you here?” asked the reporter.

The woman rolled her eyes. “Haven’t you seen their confession video? Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan owe us an apology. Man they owe us so much more than that,” she said. 

“Why do you feel that way?” asked the reporter. 

“We were completely fooled! Do you think we would have spent years and years of our lives supporting them if we knew they were gay? We wouldn’t have. They hid it from us, told us they _hated_ each other, and continued to exploit us for our money. Do you know how much of my money I’ve spent on Xiao Zhan’s endorsements, on his fan meetings, merchandise … you name it, I’ve spent it. I have a whole room in my house at home dedicated to all the things I’ve bought to support his career over the years. Yeah, I’m definitely burning all that when I get home”. 

“You wouldn’t have done all that if you had known he was gay?” prompted the reporter. 

“Hell no!”

The reporter nodded. Apparently that needed no further line of questioning. 

“There are so many of you here, does everyone else feel the same way that you do?”

The woman nodded. “We’re all part of “The Truth About Yizhan” alliance. We were all fans of one or the other up until this week. We feel utterly betrayed and used and they need to explain themselves. We're not leaving until they come out here. More people are on the way. Now that everyone has seen their address, this crowd is only going to get bigger". 

Xiao Zhan groaned. He understood that they lied. They had deceived everyone. But Xiao Zhan was having a hard time reconciling the idea that they could do anything other than provide an explanation. Which they had already done. 

Okay, so they hadn’t really explained anything. All they had really done was reveal their relationship, but they were going to explain everything in a couple of days. Why couldn’t these people just go home and wait till then. 

Yibo came and stood beside him then, curling an arm around his shoulders. 

“It doesn’t matter baobao, nothing we did or said was ever going to be good enough for these types of people. So don’t go there,” said Yibo, tapping the side of Xiao Zhan’s head softly. 

Xiao Zhan leaned into his embrace, but didn’t say anything. 

“Is it true that two of the housing complex's guards were trampled by the crowd and taken to hospital?”

Xiao Zhan gasped. 

“What?” exclaimed Yibo. 

The girl nodded. “I only got here a little while ago so I wasn’t here for that, but apparently they came to this side of the gate to try and reason with the people that were already here, claiming that they were disturbing the peace or whatever, and they kind of got … mobbed?”

The reporter didn’t even flinch.

“What the fuck?” screamed Xiao Zhan. “How did we not know this!?”

“And another employee was assaulted through the gate with hardboiled eggs with metal objects shoved into them?”

The woman nodded again. “Apparently, yes”. 

“Have there been any other violent incidents here today?” asked the reporter. 

Xiao Zhan held his breath. Yibo stilled beside him. No one in the room seemed to be breathing. 

“I guess a van rolled up a couple of hours ago and everyone thought it was one of them, you know? Someone here had a baseball bat and started hitting the car with it.”

The reporter paused, for dramatic effect, assumed Xiao Zhan. “Just how many people have been injured here today?”

The woman shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know, I guess four or five?”

“Oh holy fuck,” breathed Yibo. He turned to exchange a horrified look with Xiao zhan. This angry mob had completely compromised their peaceful, private oasis. And not just for them, it seemed. 

Xiao Zhan was utterly lost. 

“Do you feel any remorse for those people?” asked the reporter. 

Now _that_ was a good question.

“Well, I wasn’t here, so you should probably ask one of the others who were.”

“Did anyone call the police?” asked the reporter. 

“I don’t know. I don't think any cops have been here since like, the crowd first started gathering. Now that you mention it, that's a bit weird," said the woman pensively. 

“What is the point of targeting others? Aren’t you here to see Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan?”

“Well they’re not coming out, are they? We know they’re in there, so we’re trying to get their attention”. 

“Oh fuck _right_ off!” yelled Yibo. He released Xiao Zhan at that point and lurched forward, kicking the side of the sofa. 

“They’re fucking kidding right? They’re hurting others to smoke us out? Where is their fucking _humanity_? Why didn’t anyone fucking _tell us_ that this was happening?”

“Yibo, your staff all effectively quit, remember?” reminded Yunlong passively.

Yibo didn’t say anything and continued glaring at the television, proverbial fire shooting from his nose. 

Just then, Lele appeared at Xiao Zhan’s elbow, surprising Xiao Zhan. 

“Sorry sorry,” said Lele, reaching out to still Xiao Zhan, who had jumped suddenly. “I heard all the yelling, so I thought I would come in and see if everything is okay?”

“Lele,” said Yibo angrily, whirling around on his bodyguard. “Did you know about all these people getting hurt outside?”

Yibo stood in front of him with his hands on his hips. His eyes were hard as steel. 

“I learned not too long ago, Mr Yibo”. 

Yibo snorted. “And you didn't think it might have been a good idea to tell us?”

“You uhh, have guests. It was on the agenda for after they left”. 

“Oh for fucks sake, Lele. Are you serious? People were taken _to the hospital_ and you waited on that?”

Something in Xiao Zhan’s brain snapped. This was all just way too much. 

“Yibo _STOP_!” he yelled. 

Yibo let out a squeak, like a tiny rat being attacked by prey. Xiao Zhan never raised his voice to Yibo. 

The rest of their friends had now piled into a couch in the far corner of the living room, far away from the ticking time bomb that was Xiao Zhan. 

“This is our fault. Not his," Xiao Zhan's voice was liquid molten. "We asked Lele to guard the doors. Nothing more. Our staff would have told us all about this if we hadn’t alienated them enough that they all left us and quit. This is on us, don’t yell at him”. 

Yibo flinched at Xiao Zhan's tone, but Xiao Zhan couldn't bring himself to care right now. 

He didn’t wait for a response. He turned on his heel fiercely, the blood pumping through every vein in his body. He could feel his heart rate escalating far faster than was probably healthy, but he didn’t care. This had to stop. This was nothing more than madness and he would tolerate this no longer. 

Xiao Zhan stormed off in the direction of the front door, passed Yanyan who had been guarding the front entrance. He heard Yibo calling out to him as he stalked away, the panic evident and clear in his fiance’s voice. But Xiao Zhan was stopping for no one. Not even when Ayunga and Zhuoheng started calling after him did he find the inclination to pause or go back. 

The television had been on for ten minutes in their house and Xiao Zhan had already witnessed more devastation to innocent bystanders in his name than he could handle. He hadn’t even gone online yet. He had no idea what awaited him there, but he wasn’t about to take pause and find out. 

These soulless creatures at his front gate were about to meet the very dark, very ugly side of Xiao Zhan’s personality that he kept tucked deep, deep inside. Everyone had a demon they kept tucked inside of them, but Xiao Zhan knew his was a particular breed of evil that no one wanted to meet. 

If they were trying to get him to come and confront them, it had worked. 

Xiao Zhan threw open the door, not pausing for a second and launched himself out onto the road. He turned to face the gate and started stalking towards it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yibo inhaled sharply. “We pissed off the government?” asked Yibo. 
> 
> “You pissed off the government,” confirmed Jia. 
> 
> Yibo didn’t know what to think. They had never even considered government retaliation when they devised their plan. 
> 
> “Are we in some kind of trouble?” asked Xiao Zhan. 

It took Yibo a minute to figure out what was happening, but when he realized what Xiao Zhan was doing he sprinted off in the direction that his fiance had just gone. As he ran past Yanyan, who was still at the door but definitely looked confused by what was happening, Yibo called out to him as he ran past the man. 

“Help me!” The panic was clear in Yibo’s voice. 

Yibo could see Xiao Zhan was almost as the gate now. Yibo's legs hammered on the pavement as he quickly made his way to Xiao Zhan. Yanyan fell into step beside him, seeming to understand now what was happening. They just had to get Xiao Zhan far enough away from the gate so that no one on the other side could hurt him. Gate or not, it was clear that it wasn’t enough of a barrier to stop these fiends from causing harm.

The crowd on the other side of the gate was quite loud, screaming Xiao Zhan’s name aggressively. When they saw Yibo approaching, they started screaming his too. 

Xiao Zhan didn’t seem to hear them coming and Yibo and Yanyan grabbed one of XIao Zhan’s arms each and forcefully dragged him backwards. 

As Yibo’s hands encircled Xiao Zhan’s arm, the man faltered a little, surprised by the interruption. They bodily pulled him back till there was a safe enough distance between them and the gate, and then Yibo loosened his grip on Xiao Zhan’s arm. He didn’t let go completely though, not right away. 

“Zhan-ge,” said Yibo, looking into his face. Xiao Zhan was looking at him now, his face contorted. Yibo noticed that Yanyan released his hold on Xiao Zhan’s arm and stepped away from him a little, but he stayed close. “What are you doing? This isn’t safe”.

Xiao Zhan shook Yibo off of him. 

“They want a confrontation, so I’m going to give them one”. Yibo could see the darkness in Xiao Zhan’s eyes. Black pits of endless fury stared back at him, hard and cold. Yibo noticed that Xiao Zhan’s hands were shaking and he reached down and took both of them in his own, attempting to center the man that he loved. He knew they were in public, he knew that the crowd was probably taking photos of them, but right now all he cared about was bringing Xiao Zhan back to the present and back to himself. 

This man looking back at Yibo? This _wasn’t_ Xiao Zhan. 

“Baobao, this isn’t a good idea”.

It wasn’t like Xiao Zhan to be so reckless. Yibo noticed that the news vans were still here, so this was likely to end up on the television as well. 

“They’re not going to stop. They _have_ to stop. This is the only way, Yibo. Let’s give them what they want”. 

“And what is that? An explanation? We don’t owe them that”. 

“Xiao Zhan,” said Yanyan. “I have to agree with Yibo, I don’t think it's safe for you to be out here”. 

“We have nothing left to lose really,” said Xiao Zhan gazing mercilessly at the crowd. 

Yibo pulled his eyebrows together. That was an odd response. Yibo sighed though, resigned. He knew there was probably very little chance of getting Xiao Zhan back into the house now. 

He put one of his hands on Xiao Zhan’s chest. 

“From here,” he said, looking up at Xiao Zhan’s face. “No closer”. 

The crowd was getting louder now, seemingly affected by the fact that they were out here touching. Yibo tried to put the fact that this was definitely going to be all over the television to the back of his mind. 

“When are you going to go home?” asked Xiao Zhan, taking a menacing step towards the gate. Yibo grabbed onto the back of his shirt to prevent him from advancing any further. “Don’t you have lives? Families? Jobs to attend?”

The noise in the crowd died down as all the faces on the other side of the gate turned to look at them now. They seem surprised that Xiao Zhan was addressing them. Yibo noticed a reporter and a cameraman make their way to the side of the crowd at the edge of the gate. Yep, this was _definitely_ going to end up on the news. 

“You lied to us!” explained a short woman, pushing her way to the front of the crowd. She had long hair woven up into a bun on the top of her head. She was wearing a t-shirt with Yibo’s face on it, but she had X’d him out with a black marker. 

Yibo snorted. Cancel culture was abhorrent. 

“What choice did we have?” shrieked Xiao Zhan loudly, throwing his hands in the air. Yibo let the bunch of Xiao Zhan’s shirt that he was holding in his fist go. He dropped his hand onto Xiao Zhan’s back and rubbed a small circle there, reminding Xiao Zhan that he was here. 

Yibo didn’t think it even registered with Xiao Zhan though. His fiance was utterly focussed on the people on the other side of the gate. 

“What kind of answer is that?” said the same women. The rest of the crowd fell silent. Yibo wondered for three seconds if this little troll was the mastermind behind the entire “The Truth About Yizhan” movement. 

Yibo wanted to spit on her. 

“How could we have ever told you the truth about our relationship? _How?_ Use your head. I don’t know what we ever did to make you think that we didn’t like each other after we were done filming CQL but the way you were all carrying on in public spaces, fighting and making up utter lies claiming that Yibo hated me, or I hated him and then behaving like buffoons and disrupting everything forced us to do what we did. You were harassing endorsers, pissing off our directors, _other_ actors didn’t want to work with us because of all the mess that our “fans” left everywhere they went,” retorted Xiao Zhan bitterly. 

The crowd fell utterly silent. Yibo’s stomach lurched. He knew this wasn’t the place to be having this conversation. 

“Zhan-ge,” he said quietly, so no one else could hear him. “I don’t think this is a good idea”. 

Xiao Zhan glanced at him. “They won’t go home, Yibo”. 

Yibo sighed, knowing Xiao Zhan was right and turned to face the crowd. 

“What are you hoping to achieve here?” he began. He wouldn’t leave Xiao Zhan out to dry all on his own. “Xiao Zhan is right. This kind of behavior is ridiculous. Don’t you have jobs? Children? Husbands? Surely you must have lives outside of _all_ this”. 

Yibo hoped that by repeating Xiao Zhan’s words, it might register just how crazy this behavior was. He hoped, but he wasn’t holding his breath. 

“You owe us an explanation,” said the woman again, this time her voice was much terser.

Murmurs erupted from the crowd in agreement. 

“We owe you _nothing_ ,” spat Xiao Zhan. “You’ve already taken so much from us both. We have already given you _so_ much of ourselves and our lives. We owe you nothing more”. 

  
“Without us,” she began. “You wouldn’t even have a career. You would be nothing, just like you will be when this is all over now. We have dedicated our lives to supporting all your professional works online, we buy your endorsements and make sure that companies know we’ll show up if they hire you. We buy your merchandise, vote for all your awards … how do you think your success would have been possible if it wasn’t for our efforts?” she asked. 

The crowd went silent again. 

Xiao Zhan laughed darkly. “You also make up stories about each of us and spread those online. You stalk us and make it impossible for us to move around the country safely. You harass our families and our friends. You cause all kinds of hate and fights online if _anyone_ even so much as sneezes a bad word about us or something that we’ve done. You’ve disturbed filming sets, attacked other actors, and harassed other fandoms for having contrary opinions to yours. And you do it all in my name, in _his_ name,” said Xiao Zhan, throwing his thumb in Yibo’s direction. “And it’s pathetic, you’re all pathetic, horrible, hateful individuals that need to get a life and do something positive for once”.

Yibo gaped at Xiao Zhan. Clearly, his fiance had snapped. Xiao Zhan was never rude to people in public. _Never_. 

Everyone in the crowd was standing transfixed in place, their mouths hanging open in shock at Xiao Zhan’s words. Xiao Zhan took a breath and barreled on. 

“We’re better off without you, as far as I am concerned. The wake of destruction people like you have left in our shadow is horrendous. How entitled you are to stand there and say I owe you something. One of you put our home address online and now we are going to have to move. If anything you _owe us_. Who needs enemies when people that call themselves fans go around behaving like you all do? How could you think I would even want fans like you? No one does. You’re all a useless, evil wastes of space that do nothing but cause us pain”. 

_Fuck_.

Xiao Zhan was spiraling. Yibo knew he had to get the man back inside before he fell apart on camera completely. Yibo was about to put his hands and Xiao Zhan on try to manhandle him back inside the house, but someone else beat him to it. 

Footsteps thundered behind him and Yibo whirled around just to see Jia and Juanjuan dashing towards them. They threw themselves on Xiao Zhan and grabbed his arms, yanking him off towards the direction of their house. 

“Hey!” exclaimed Xiao Zhan the minute he realized what was happening. He tried to push them off but their resolve was deep. Yibo said a silent prayer for both of them as they hauled Xiao Zhan off the street. At least it wasn’t _him_ that was going to be the focus of Xiao Zhan’s rage now once they made it back inside. 

The crowd erupted noisily from the other side of the gate but Yibo didn’t stick around to figure out what all the commotion was about. He jogged off after Juanjuan and Jia, who were now _dragging_ Xiao Zhan by the elbows. 

Yanyan followed suit and headed back towards the house with Yibo. 

Yibo could hear Xiao Zhan yelling the minute he stepped inside the house. He hurried up the hallway and into the living room into the mess. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” screamed Xiao Zhan. “Who gave you the right to _touch_ me?”

Yibo rounded the corner into the living room. Jia was standing on one side of the living room and Juanjuan was on the other. Xiao Zhan was in the middle, body taut and rigid, face flaming red with fury. 

He saw the four of his friends all huddled on a couch over by the window, their eyes trained on Xiao Zhan. 

“Xiao Zhan, what the hell were you thinking?” retorted Jia. She wasn’t yelling, like Xiao Zhan was, but her voice was firm. “Why would you go outside and talk to those idiots? Your outburst is now on every news network in this country. People are saying you’ve lost it”. 

Yibo expected as much. He was probably #1 on Weibo’s hot search right now as well. 

Jia turned to Yibo. “How could you let him do that? Why didn’t you stop him?”

It occurred to Yibo in that moment that he didn’t understand how they had shown up. 

“Where did you come from? You came from behind us…?” he asked. 

“We came in through the emergency exit in the back of the compound. We knew we wouldn’t be able to get in through the front gate,” explained Juanjuan

“Forget that!” exclaimed Jia. “What you just did was _incredibly_ stupid Xiao Zhan”. 

“They’re not going to leave Jia. I need them _gone_!” replied Xiao Zhan, no longer shouting. 

Ayunga spoke now, breaking their silence. No one other than Yibo seemed to see that they were even here. “Guys, we’re going to go. Can we have some of your bodyguards get us back to the hotel? We’ll sneak out so no one sees us,” said Ayunga. 

Yibo nodded and shot them an apologetic glance. The four of them filed out the back door. 

“We were handling the situation, okay? We were on top of it, but now you’ve gone and created a huge mess,” said Jia after their friends had left. 

“Hold on,” said Yibo. “You both still want to work for us?”

“What?” asked Jia. “Did you get my resignation? Of course we still work for you!”

“I just thought… you were gone when we came downstairs”. 

“You thought what, Yibo? You pulled an incredibly bad PR stunt without telling either of us - your publicists - and then went and locked yourselves in your bedroom like a couple of petulant children. We left to give you space. Isn’t that what you wanted? We went back to the hotel and have been trying to clean up the mess you left after your livestream”. 

“You thought we quit?” asked Juanjuan, surprise coloring his face. 

Yibo sighed, nodding. 

“Where are XueXue and Liling?” asked Xiao Zhan, much calmer now. 

Jia snorted rudely. “Actually, we don’t know. They _might_ have actually quit”. 

Yibo couldn’t tell if Jia’s overt rudeness was directed at himself and Xiao Zhan, or their managers. He decided not to ask. 

Yibo walked over to the couch and picked up the remote. He flipped on the television and just as he expected, Xiao Zhan’s outburst was playing on just about every channel. Fuck. This was not good. 

Yibo sighed. “How do we fix this?” 

“Forget that,” said Xiao Zhan. “I don’t care about the media or public perception right now, how do _we get them to leave_?”

Yibo could see the tension in Xiao Zhan’s body. He wanted to touch him, to try and placate him, but Yibo didn’t know how well that would be received right now. Xiao Zhan was positively vibrating. 

“Yes, well, we were dealing with that too,” explained Jia irritably. 

“We’ve been on the phone with the police since we left,” interrupted Juanjuan. “Maybe you should both sit down, we actually do have something to tell you”. 

“I’d rather stand,” retorted Xiao Zhan. 

Yibo sighed at Xiao Zhan’s stubbornness. He did sit down though, hoping that maybe if he did, Xiao Zhan would relent and follow his lead. 

He did not. 

“Well, it seems that the police do have the jurisdiction to move these people out of the way,” began Juanjuan tentatively. Yibo thought he looked nervous. 

“Why haven’t they?” asked Yibo. 

“The government asked them not to,” replied Jia, deadpan. 

“Excuse me?” asked Yibo, utterly confused. 

“What does _that_ mean?” asked Xiao Zhan. 

Jia inhaled. “It seems that the government is … _unhappy_ about your very public declarations to each other. Since they can’t technically punish you with the law anymore, they ordered the police to leave the crowds that were gathering alone to “teach you a lesson””. 

Xiao Zhan fell onto the couch next to Yibo, the fight leaving his body. 

“Fuck,” said Xiao Zhan. 

Yibo inhaled sharply. “We pissed off the government?” asked Yibo. 

“You pissed off the government,” confirmed Jia. 

Yibo didn’t know what to think. They had never even considered government retaliation when they devised their plan. 

“Are we in some kind of trouble?” asked Xiao Zhan. 

Juanjuan shook his head. “Not really. The laws changed so technically they can’t really do anything about what you did. But they’re not very happy with you either. So we would _really_ appreciate it if you didn’t pull any more stunts that might piss them off further”. 

"People disappear in China all the time Juanjuan..." said Xiao Zhan. 

"Be thankful you're a public figure then. People would notice if you went missing," replied Juanjuan.

Yibo didn't let himself dwell on this information. He had no idea how he would shake the terror if he did. 

“What about Day Day Up?” asked Yibo. If the government wanted to silence them, Yibo didn’t think going on live television to talk about the inner workings of their very gay lives was exactly a good idea. 

“What about Day Day Up?” asked Jia?

“Hunan wants an exclusive with us. We already agreed. It's going to happen in a couple of days,” explained Yibo.

“ _Wang Yibo!_ You’re supposed to tell us those things!” yelled Jia. 

“We thought you quit,” said Xiao Zhan bitterly. Xiao Zhan slumped back down against the couch. 

Jia rolled her eyes at Xiao Zhan. “I’ll call Hunan later and discuss this with them. They may want to rethink once I give them this information. Anyway, about the crowd outside. It seems the government has given the police the okay now to actually act. Too many people are being hurt by these crowds and it looks bad that the police haven’t done more to stop it. They’re sending vans of officers to all the locations where the crowds have gathered to disperse as we speak”. 

“Other people have been hurt at the other gatherings?” asked Xiao Zhan, sitting up now. 

Juanjuan nodded. “I believe there have been around 25 hospitalizations in total”. 

“Oh fuck,” said Yibo. 

“We never wanted this to happen! We just want to be together, like normal people do”. Xiao Zhan dropped his head into his hands. 

Yibo decided that it was probably safe enough now to touch him. He placed his hand gently on the back of Xiao Zhan’s neck and wove his fingers through his hair. 

“Did we do the wrong thing?” asked Xiao Zhan, looking over at Yibo. Yibo removed his hand from Xiao Zhan’s neck. 

Did they? Yibo wasn’t sure. 

“I don’t know, baobao,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “We’ve definitely made a mess, that’s for sure”. 

“Look,” siad Juanjuan, coming to sit next to Xiao Zhan on the couch. Juanjuan placed a comforting hand on Xiao Zhan’s knee. “You knew this wasn’t going to be easy. And yes, it does seem to have escalated far beyond what we could have predicted. But you’re right Xiao Zhan, celebrity status or not, you deserve the opportunity to love your spouse openly. You’re a human being before anything else and you have lived your whole life in a country that told you your entire existence was wrong. So despite the fact that this whole situation is a bit of a PR nightmare right now, I definitely understand why you went through with this and frankly, I think you two are the bravest sons of bitches I have ever met. Regardless of how this turns out, I am proud to stand next to you through this”. 

Xiao Zhan regarded Juanjuan for a moment before he threw his arms around Juanjuan’s neck. Juanjuan hugged him back warmly. 

Yibo felt like he could cry. 

“Also,” added Jia. “Although we’ve only been talking about the bad stuff, it’s actually not _all_ bad. You should see the number of gay people that have joined the BJYX group online and are sending you messages of love and support, thanking you for using your platform to bring attention to this issue”. 

“Really?” asked Yibo, cocking his head. 

“You haven’t been online at _all_?” asked Jia in disbelief. 

Yibo shook his head. “Not at all”. 

“Millions of comments, Yibo. _Millions_ of messages of support and gratitude for your actions. It’s actually quite beautiful”. 

Yibo shared a glance with Xiao Zhan. 

“So what now?” he asked, turning back to Jia. 

“Right now, I’m going to get on the phone with Hunan Television and figure out what is happening with this exclusive. Juanjuan is going to book flights for your parents and send them home now that the crowds are being dispersed and we’re going to put you two on a plane and get you out of here for a few days,” said Jia. 

Yibo groaned. This again? 

“We’re not fucking going to _New Zealand_ , Jia,” barked Yibo. 

She shook her head. “Not New Zealand, Yibo. But these assholes put your home address online. Although this particular crowd is being disbanded, I doubt attention here will die down soon. You need some space so you can get away from it all. Xiao Zhan snapped today. You both need a break”. 

Yibo looked over at Xiao Zhan, who just nodded at Yibo in agreement. 

“I want to get the hell out of here for a bit. I like this idea,” said Xiao Zhan. “Maybe the guys would like to come with us. We owe it to them,” suggested Xiao Zhan. 

Yibo knew that Xiao Zhan was talking about their friends at the hotel. Although getting away for a few days with just himself and Xiao Zhan sounded like heaven to him, Yibo knew Xiao Zhan was right. Yibo nodded at Xiao Zhan. 

“You want to go to the cabin?” asked Yibo. They had bought a small cabin in a mountainous rural part of China a couple of years ago. They used it to get away when their public life got just a little too much for them. 

“Do you think people would have found out that we own that place too?” asked Xiao Zhan. “I don’t think I’ll cope if fans show up there too”. 

“Best not to risk it,” suggested Juanjuan. “We’ll rent you something similar though, okay? I’ll put it in my name so it's not traceable to you”.

“Thanks Juanjuan,” said Xiao Zhan. 

Juanjuan patted Xiao Zhan’s knee and stood up, pulling his phone out of his pocket. Jia and Juanjuan wandered off downstairs to make their respective phone calls. 

Xiao Zhan turned and stretched out on the couch. He closed his eyes and pulled a hand over his face. Yibo regarded him for a moment and then climbed on top of him. Yibo tangled his legs up with Xiao Zhan’s and placed a soft, small kiss on his forehead. 

Xiao Zhan opened his eyes and rested his hands on either side of Yibo’s bum. 

“You okay?” asked Yibo, propping himself up on his elbows. 

“I lost it, didn’t I?” asked Xiao Zhan softly. 

“Just a bit,” agreed Yibo. 

“I’m sorry,” apologized Xiao Zhan immediately. “I probably made everything worse”. 

“Don’t apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. You had a human response, Xiao Zhan”. 

“Do you think we’re going to make it through this?” asked Xiao Zhan, gazing into Yibo’s eyes. 

Yibo shrugged a shoulder. “Maybe, if what Jia said is true and we do have a lot of support, we might be just fine. It might take some time and our fan base might change, but if we continue to have support I imagine that people will keep employing us”. 

Yibo didn’t know if that was true at all. If he was honest with himself, he had absolutely no idea what was going to happen. People have fallen from this industry for _far_ lesser things. But Yibo felt like Xiao Zhan needed to hear positivity right now, so that’s what he gave him. 

“Do you want to look at the supertopic?” asked Xiao Zhan, lifting an eyebrow. 

Yibo nodded. “I actually think we need to go online Xiao Zhan. We can’t put it off any longer”. 

Xiao Zhan sighed and patted Yibo’s bum, indicating that he should get up. Yibo rolled off XIao Zhan’s body and sat up on the couch. Xiao Zhan did the same. 

They both pulled out their phones and exchanged a weighted glance. 

“Here goes nothing,” sighed Xiao Zhan, unlocking his phone.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Okay, Han-ge. Let’s do this before we both chicken out”. 
> 
> “Okay didi,” said Wang Han. “Let’s do this”.

As they had both predicted, Weibo had been an ultimate dumpster fire. Blind, violent hate was being flung around in their name worse than they had ever seen it. Both of them were getting death threats. While their particular fandoms were still banging on about the fact that they deceived everyone, there was also a scary amount of anti LGBTQ hate being flung around by people that didn’t even follow them. It was all a bit overwhelming. 

But Jia had also been right about the support too. The supertopic dedicated to their coupling was absolutely overflowing with love and support. People were leaving their own coming out stories in the community, while others were just wishing them well. Xiao Zhan had intercepted Yibo leaving a comment there of his own. Maybe in time, they could make their presence known in that community and interact with some of their supporters, but now was not the time for that. 

After the crowds were dispersed by police around the country, their parents all went home to their respective cities. Not entirely comfortable with the situation though, Yibo insisted that they hire some security to guard their homes until this all blew over, one way or another. Their parents hadn’t objected. In fact, Yibo’s mother seemed somewhat relieved at the idea. 

XueXue did email Xiao Zhan her official resignation the next day. Although Xiao Zhan tried hard not to take it personally, he knew everything about this was absolutely personal. Yibo had not heard from Liling. No-one knew where she was. 

Juanjuan managed to find a cute little cottage in the middle of nowhere near very few people which he rented for Yibo and Xiao Zhan for four days so they could get away from the circus that had become their lives in Beijing. The cottage was nestled in a thick forest of trees which afforded them an insane amount of privacy. It was not something either of them were even remotely used to, and they basked in all its glory. They took long, uninterrupted walks amongst the trees, they cooked and ate on the patio, and they swam in the nearby creek. They didn’t turn on the television and they didn’t go anywhere near Weibo, or any other online spaces for that matter. 

None of their friends had decided to join them, all citing work related things they needed to get back to. So it ended up just being Xiao Zhan and Yibo, which, in the end, had probably been better. It meant they didn’t have to put clothes on if they didn’t want to, they didn’t have to get out of bed if they didn’t want to, and they didn’t have to take care of anyone but each other. Xiao Zhan hadn’t realized the full extent of just how beat up he was feeling until they got there and the tension began seeping from his shoulders. 

The four days passed by way too quickly and before Xiao Zhan knew it, he and Yibo were sitting on a plane headed for Changsha. When Jia had told Hunan Television about the government’s irritation with him and Yibo, the studio contacted a government representative and ran their plans by them to ostensibly gain permission to do the interview. According to the representative, as long as the interview abided by the new media laws (which basically said they couldn’t depict or talk about their sex life, be “too” physical on camera, or comment negatively on the anti adoption laws that still existed) then the government would have no objection to the show. Xiao Zhan thought it was strange, if they really were that upset with them, but he was too nervous to even try and figure out the hidden meanings there. 

Both Xiao Zhan and Yibo’s bodyguards had arrived at the cottage this morning to collect them both and were now seated in the seats behind them. 

Xiao Zhan’s leg was bouncing up and down as the plane descended from the sky. 

Yibo’s hand reached out and covered his knee, stilling Xiao Zhan’s nervous movement. 

“Aren’t you nervous?” Xiao Zhan asked Yibo. Xiao Zhan pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth. 

Yibo nodded. “Of course”. 

“You don’t look nervous,” commented Xiao Zhan. 

“I didn’t eat breakfast because I didn’t think I could keep it down. I’m nervous, gege,” replied Yibo. 

Xiao Zhan had spent the entire flight wondering if they were doing the right thing. Not one single part of Xiao Zhan actually wanted to go on television and talk about their relationship. It was personal, private. But, he also understood that they were public figures and they  _ did _ just out themselves in the most public way. A large part of him was now wondering if they should have even done that. 

Xiao Zhan wondered if they had just gone about their lives and allowed people to actually see them together instead of making this big huge public declaration like they had, would this have gone any better. Xiao Zhan didn’t have the answers, but he was still deep in his thoughts over this as they exited the airport. 

Nothing prepared him for what they met once they were outside the airport. 

Xiao Zhan gasped and Yibo grabbed his elbow and their six bodyguards all formed a tight circle around the two of them. They stopped moving as they surveyed the scene. An enormous crowd had formed - far bigger than anything Xiao Zhan had seen at an airport before - and airport security looked like they were having a hard time keeping them under control. The crowd was standing between them and where their van was waiting and there was absolutely no way around the group, except to go through them. The people in the crowd all seemed to have linked elbows, mirroring an impenetrable chain link fence. 

The crowd erupted in screams as they realized they had arrived. 

“There is no way we are going through that,” said Yibo. “Like, I’m not even trying. No way”. 

“They’re blocking the van,” said Yanyan. 

“I don’t care,” said Yibo. “I know we usually try to navigate crowds but this is different. There are way too many of them”. 

Yanyan just nodded. 

“I think we should go back inside. We’ll find somewhere for you two to wait out of sight and I’ll go and talk to airport security”. 

“We’re going to be late,” commented Xiao Zhan. 

“Yes,” agreed Yanyan. “We are”. 

Xiao Zhan sighed and turned and headed back inside. He blocked out all the screams and the slurs that were yelled at them as they did so. 

Airport security allowed them to take refuge in their personal lounge while Yanyan and the others tried to come up with a plan to ensure they could leave safely. 

Xiao Zhan threw himself down on a chair next to Yibo. 

“I am so tired of this, Yibo,” said Xiao Zhan dejectedly. 

Yibo grunted. “I’ve  _ been _ tired of this for so long. I hate this part of our lives”. 

“I have never seen a crowd that big at an airport before,” he said. “There is literally a wall of people out there preventing us from leaving. I really hope they’re letting other people through”. 

Yanyan hurried over towards them. 

“Security is going to take us back out to the tarmac. They’ll bus us out through a different exit and we can meet the van once we’re outside the airport grounds. There is a parking lot where we can make the exchange not too far from there”. 

They got to their feet. 

“Let’s go,” said Yibo. “I already text Han-ge that we’re going to be late but if we hurry maybe we can make up some of the lost time”. 

“I’m sure Han-ge will understand,” said Xiao Zhan. 

“It’s a live show, Xiao Zhan. We’re bound to the schedule”. 

Xiao Zhan could tell that Yibo was irritated so he silently fell in step beside him and gave him the space he needed to get his mood under control. 

Xiao Zhan laced his fingers with Yibo’s and sat in silence next to him for the whole ride to the studio. 

When they got to the studio, they were met with  _ more _ extremely large crowds. At least Hunan seemed prepared for them though and had security lined up on either side of the road to ensure traffic could make it through. 

Despite the fact that they were  _ inside _ the van, the thunderous roar coming from the crowd as they drove by was overwhelming. Both Yibo and Xiao Zhan leaned forward and placed their heads between their knees to prevent these assholes from taking their photo. Once in the parking garage, they both sat up. 

“I just don’t get it,” said Yibo. “It’s  _ Thursday _ . Why aren’t those people at work?”

Xiao Zhan just shrugged, not feeling the need to attempt to answer Yibo’s question. This was something they had talked about endlessly over the years. How were people able to gather at the airport and places they knew Xiao Zhan and Yibo were supposed to show up on working days, during work hours? It was a question that no one was ever able to answer for them. 

Xiao Zhan’s stomach was churning as they entered the studio. Because they were late, they were both ferried right into hair and makeup. While they were being fawned over, He Jiong and Wang Han came into the room. 

“Han-ge,” said Yibo immediately. “I’m so sorry we’re late. We got trapped at the airport”. 

“Yes, yes, your bodyguards shared that information with us when you arrived. It’s okay didi, it looks like we’ll be on schedule anyway”. 

“Han-ge,” breathed Yibo sheepishly. “Be kind, okay? We’re both nervous”. 

He Jiong reached out and placed a comforting hand on Xiao Zhan’s shoulder. 

“You’re both so brave,” said He Jiong. 

“Yibo, didi, you know we have to ask some hard, uncomfortable questions, but please feel free to answer how you wish. Don’t provide more information than either of you are comfortable just because we are asking the questions, okay?” said Wang Han. 

“Mn,” said Yibo, dropping his eyes to the floor. 

“Xiao Zhan, how are you feeling?” asked Wang Han. 

Xiao Zhan shot the man a small smile. He had no reason to lie to Wang Han. 

“Honestly? I feel like I’m going to be sick”. 

Wang Han nodded, as if he had an idea of what they might both be going through. 

“Just remember to breathe, okay? Did you want to eat something before we go on the air?” asked Wang Han. 

Xiao Zhan shook his head. “God  _ no _ ”. 

Yibo was also shaking his head. “No thanks”. 

“Okay then. We’ll if you’re both ready, I think we should head out to the stage now”. 

“Hold on,” said Yibo quickly. “Can I have just a minute alone with Xiao Zhan?”

Wang Han nodded. “Yes, yes, of course. But just a minute, okay? We really do need to get started”.

Wang Han ferried everyone out and left Yibo and Xiao Zhan alone. Xiao Zhan stood up and took a deep breath. 

“This is going to be hard,” said Yibo. 

Xiao Zhan nodded. 

“I don’t know what they’re going to ask us, but do what Wang Han said. Don’t answer anything you don’t want to, okay?”

“I know, Yibo. I won’t”.

Yibo came to stand in front of him and placed both of his hands on either side of his hips. 

“We’ve come so far, you and I. Haven’t we?”asked Yibo. He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Xiao Zhan’s nose. 

“We sure have, Yibo”. Xiao Zhan wove his hands around Yibo’s lower back. 

“Do you love me as much as you did when we first started dating?” asked Yibo, fluttering his beautiful eyelashes at Xiao Zhan. 

“Oh please,” grunted Xiao Zhan. “I love you  _ way _ more now. There is not a single person on planet earth that I would walk through hellfire like this for other than you, Yibo”.

Yibo pulled back and looked up into Xiao Zhan’s eyes. “I told you that you don’t have to do this for me, Xiao Zhan. It’s just a job”. 

Xiao Zhan shook his head. “Darling, that’s not what I meant. I’m not here because your job is on the line, I'm here for us. We want a shot at having it all right? We want a shot at keeping our acting careers and getting what we want for us. The only way we are ever going to know if we can really have it all, is if we do this. So when I say I would walk through hellfire for you, I mean  _ us _ ”. 

“I love you,” replied Yibo immediately. “I love you so much”.

Xiao Zhan leaned in and kissed Yibo quickly. “I know, baby. I love you so much, too”. 

“Do you think I can hold your hand out there? I’m kind of nervous,” wondered Yibo. 

“I think we should ask Wang Han quickly about those kinds of rules”. 

Yibo nodded. “Okay”. 

They left the room then and headed off down the hallway in the direction of the stage. As they were about to leave the safety of the corridor and enter the stage, Xiao Zhan heard Yibo gasp next to him. 

“Liling!” he cried. “What are you doing here?”

Xiao Zhan turned and saw Liling off to the side of the stage entrance. Xiao Zhan gasped as well, but not at Liling. Standing next to a panic stricken looking Liling was a tall man dressed head to toe in military garb. His chest and shoulders were decorated with all kinds of medals. This was no ordinary soldier. This was someone very important. 

Liling didn’t respond to Yibo’s question and she kept her eyes trained on the ground in front of her. 

The man looked at Xiao Zhan and it sent a chill all the way down Xiao Zhan’s spine. Xiao Zhan suddenly knew exactly what this man was doing here. This was a warning from the government: don’t over step.

Xiao Zhan’s mouth went desert dry as the realization of just  _ how much _ he and Yibo’s public declaration of love had really pissed off the government. Would they be carted off stage by this man if they did or said something here that the government didn’t like?

He felt Yibo grab his hand and squeeze tightly. Xiao Zhan looked over into Yibo’s eyes and he saw the same emotions reflected back at him that were swirling around in his own stomach: complete and utter terror. 

The man made no attempt to verbally address either of them. Apparently it was clear enough that his purpose was communicated effectively. Yibo’s hand dropped onto the small of Xiao Zhan’s back and pushed him forward towards the stage where Wang Han and He Jiong were waiting for them. 

Xiao Zhan’s hands were shaking violently. 

“Han- _ ge _ ,” whispered Yibo fiercely. “You could have told us about the scary military dude”. 

“Yibo, didi, I’m sorry. I couldn’t. I was ordered to say nothing”. 

“ _ Fuck _ ,” said Yibo. It surprised Xiao Zhan. Yibo never cursed in Wang Han’s presence. 

“We’re in trouble, aren’t we?” asked Xiao Zhan. “They changed the laws. We thought we were  _ fine _ ,” rambled Xiao Zhan nervously. 

“Zhanzhan,” said He Jiong. “I don’t think you’re in  _ trouble  _ per se. I just think they are throwing their weight around, trying to remind you of where you live”.

Xiao Zhan was smart enough to know that He Jiong was trying to placate them both. They were about to go on national television and make a very candid, public declaration about their relationship and it wasn’t going to go well if Yibo and himself were in a government induced panic. 

Xiao Zhan was also smart enough to know that He Jiong probably had  _ no idea _ what the government’s plan for them was. It took every ounce of Xiao Zhan’s self control not to completely lose it right then and there. 

Wang Han reached out and rubbed both of Yibo’s arms gingerly. 

“Don’t worry about him, Yibo. You look at me, and me only, okay? Pretend he isn’t here,” instructed Wang Han. 

Yibo nodded. 

“Can I touch him?” asked Yibo in a small voice. 

It never ceased to amaze Xiao Zhan just how young and innocent Yibo could look sometimes, despite the fact that he was bordering on thirty years old. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Yibo. Not with him waiting in the wings for us to screw up,” said Xiao Zhan. 

Yibo looked utterly crestfallen, but he nodded in agreement. “You’re right”. 

“I wouldn’t have recommended that anyway,” offered He Jiong. “We’re still a little unclear about the nature of these replacement media laws and I wouldn’t want you two doing anything that could get you in trouble”. 

Both Xiao Zhan and Yibo just murmured in response. 

“Okay boys, we really do need to get started. You’ll sit here on this couch and He Jiong and I will take the arm chairs”. 

Xiao Zhan sat on the couch, as instructed, and Yibo flopped down next to him. 

“Didi, move over a little, okay? That’s too close,” said Xiao Zhan painfully. Space from Yibo was  _ not _ something he wanted right now. 

Yibo looked at Xiao Zhan like he had run over his cat. 

Xiao Zhan winced. “I’m sorry, okay? I’ll make it up to you later”. 

Yibo didn’t say anything in response to that. Instead, he turned to Wang Han and nodded at him. 

“Okay, Han-ge. Let’s do this before we both chicken out”. 

“Okay didi,” said Wang Han. “Let’s do this”. 


	11. Chapter 11

Despite the fact that he had garnered quite a reputation for being one of the best actors in the country, Yibo knew that when he was just being Yibo, it was so hard for him to keep his emotions off his face. It’s why he consistently lost in fights with Xiao Zhan, and it was why people were constantly baffled by him on variety shows. But, right in this moment, that was also how he just  _ knew _ that the entire country was watching him right now from the comfort of their own homes as Yibo came completely unstuck. 

He couldn’t remember ever being this nervous about anything. Not even when he barged into Xiao Zhan’s hotel room while they had been filming CQL nine years ago and pushed him up against the wall and kissed him. Yibo had been pretty nervous that day. He didn’t know if Xiao Zhan liked him, or even if Xiao Zhan liked guys at all, but Yibo couldn’t hold his feelings in any longer. He was far more nervous now than he had been that day. He wasn’t even this nervous when he had sat down in front of his  _ very _ Chinese parents to tell them that their only child was effectively ending the family line. God, he had been  _ so _ nervous that day. But no. Neither of those moments even came close to how nervous he was right now. 

He laced his fingers together in his lap and squeezed tightly, hoping to alleviate some of the tension spilling off of him in droves. He hoped his face wasn’t completely contorted into the blatant grimace he thought it was. He desperately wanted to crawl into Xiao Zhan’s lap and bury his face in his neck so he could hide his eyes from the world, but Yibo didn’t even feel comfortable enough to  _ look _ in Xiao Zhan’s direction at this moment. Yibo focussed on Wang Han instead, who was counting backwards from ten to indicate the start of filming. 

When Wang Han arrived at one, Yibo exhaled shakily. Wang Han began talking immediately. 

“Hello, hello! I am Day Day Up’s Wang Han,” he began. 

“And I am Happy Camp’s He Jiong,” added He Jiong.

“We’ve interrupted your regular scheduled programming because we have two individuals with us that we think you might know very well”. 

Yibo held his breath. He really didn’t want to have to go through the awkwardness of introducing himself. They all damn well knew who he was and they all knew why they were here. 

“Sitting here with us today is Xiao Zhan and our very own didi, Wang Yibo. You might have seen them both trending in the news a bit these last couple of weeks, and the two men kindly agreed to come here and have a nice chat with us about all the … attention they’ve been receiving”. 

Wang Han exchanged a glance with He Jiong then, and He Jiong nodded in response, taking over from Wang Han. 

“As you know, our country joined the ranks of the other leading nations in the world recently by legalizing same sex marriage. Men and women in relationships with spouses of their own gender can now marry their loved ones and enjoy similar legal rights as everyone else”. 

He Jiong was poised and composed, which Yibo thought was a milestone considering there was a communist party military representative monitoring their every breath.

“Several days ago, the two gentlemen in question here sitting on our couch, released a video confirming that a romantic, same-sex relationship exists between the two of them. We brought them here today so they can explain why they did that, and address some of the backlash that resulted,” said He Jiong. 

He Jiong rested his hands in his lap then, and waited for one of them to step in. Yibo looked over at Xiao Zhan at this point, silently begging for him to take the lead. Yibo didn’t know if he would be able to get the right words out if he had to talk first. 

“Well,” began Xiao Zhan tentatively. Yibo wanted to kiss him. Thank god for Xiao Zhan’s fierce perception when it came to Yibo. 

“The government enacted the marriage equality laws, and then quickly followed up by amending the media laws that prevented us from actually speaking out about this issue in the past,” siad Xiao Zhan calmly. 

Yibo knew Xiao Zhan though, and he knew that Xiao Zhan was more than likely having a mini heart attack as he spoke. Unlike Yibo, Xiao Zhan  _ was _ able to control his own emotions when he was functioning as just Xiao Zhan. 

“We have been hiding who we really are from the world, and essentially denying ourselves as well, for a very long time. We lived the way our government wanted us to, in total privacy and secrecy. But, we took the government’s decision to change those laws as their blessing for us to start living as who we really are”. 

Yibo stilled beside Xiao Zhan. He did  _ not  _ just call the government out on their own bullshit on national television, while one of their henchmen stood by watching…  _ Xiao Zhan! _

Yibo, feeling empowered by his lover’s boldness, decided it was his turn to speak. 

“We love each other,” he said firmly. “We’ve loved each other for a very long time. I fell in love with Xiao Zhan the moment I walked onto that set. We have been in a relationship for nine years, and we’ve lived together for the last seven. But we had to do all that in secret, because we’re public figures. The number of people in our lives that actually knew that we were a couple is so small I can count them on my fingers. Lying to everyone around you, all the subterfuge, it gets … exhausting”. 

Wang Han nodded empathetically. “And so when the laws changed, you decided you wanted to share this with your fans?”

Yibo shook his head vigorously. He didn’t for one second want the fans to think that he was considering them at all when they made this choice. He needed to make sure that everyone heard him right, and that they did this for  _ them _ and nothing more. 

“No, that’s not why we made the announcement. Despite the nature of the entertainment industry and the relationship that idols are expected to have with their fans, I don’t think fans should ever have the entitlement to think that they deserve access to private information about someone they are ‘following’ or ‘supporting’ that has nothing to do with their work,” said Yibo.

He coughed, as he cleared his throat and looked at Xiao Zhan. If Xiao Zhan wanted him to stop, he would. But his fiance had his poker face on, and was looking at Yibo with such passivity that Yibo couldn’t tell what the hell he was thinking. When he looked over at Wang Han and He Jiong and neither of them seemed interested in stopping him either, he charged forward. 

“We have no intention of continuing to live in secret, now that we don’t have to. So people will start seeing us together, like they would any other official couple. For example, we flew on the same plane together today and sat next to each other on the way here for the first time in …. I can’t even remember the last time we were able to do that”. 

Xiao Zhan tapped Yibo’s knee softly just once. 

“What Yibo means to say is that we made the public announcement as a courtesy so that when people did see us together, it would make sense and everyone would leave us to go about our business as usual”. 

“But that isn’t what happened, is it Xiao Zhan?” asked Wang Han. Yibo knew Wang Han very well and he knew that look in his eye. Difficult questions were about to ensue.

Xiao Zhan shook his head. “Unfortunately, no, it isn’t. When Yibo and I discussed this and made the decision that we were going to start living more freely, we had discussed that the public reaction might turn out poorly, but we never expected the extremes that have occurred over the last two weeks”. 

Yibo grunted. “People have been acting so irrationally and the madness has been a lot for both of us to digest. I mean, why do they care so much if I love him? If they’re really my fans, shouldn’t they be happy that I found someone that makes me so happy?”

Xiao Zhan edged towards Yibo on the sofa just a little. It was a small movement that the camera probably didn’t pick up, but Yibo felt it. He really wished he could reach out and grab Xiao Zhan’s hand. 

“It’s more complicated than that though, isn’t it?” prompted He Jiong. 

Yibo pulled his eyebrows together. “What do you mean?”

“Well some of your fans are angry that several years ago you both made statements that effectively separated the two of you. When you did that, you both got  _ more _ fans as a result. But the reality is, that you only did that for optics, right? You were still dating Xiao Zhan through that period of time?”

Yibo huffed. “We were  _ living _ together at that time, so it was a little more serious than  _ dating _ ,” clarified Yibo. 

Xiao Zhan let out a strangled noise next to him. 

Xiao Zhan began speaking quickly so Yibo couldn’t continue. 

“We understand that fans are angry about that - ”

Annoyed, Yibo cut him off. “But why, Zhan-ge? I don’t understand why we were supposed to understand that they would be angry. Are we not entitled to a private life?”

Yibo and Xiao Zhan exchanged a terse glance. 

“If I may,” jumped in Wang Han. “I believe the issue is that some of your fans have expressed dissatisfaction about being misled about your sexuality. When you severed public ties together, your fans took that as an affirmation that you were both straight. Many have said that if they had contrary information, they would have parted ways with you and your fandom years ago as they don’t support that particular lifestyle”. 

Yibo snorted. “Wait, so you’re telling me that all those people that disturbed the peace these last two weeks, the ones who were gathering and causing trouble, they did that to protest that we’re  _ gay _ ?” clarified Yibo. 

“I don’t think I could speak for the entire crowd, Yibo, but there were many people at those gatherings claiming just that, yes”. 

Yibo went quiet, letting Wang Han’s words marinate for the viewers. 

“I don’t know what they want from us,” said Xiao Zhan in a small voice. “Are they hoping that if they protest loudly enough that we’ll suddenly wake up one morning and decide to be straight? Because that’s not really how this works”. 

Xiao Zhan cleared his throat, but he did level his eyes at Wang Han signaling a challenge. Yibo hoped Wang Han understood that Xiao Zhan wanted him to continue this line of questioning. 

Xiao Zhan had mentioned to Yibo yesterday that he wanted to use this as an opportunity to try and educate some of the people that were still having a hard time accepting the LGBTQ community in their country. 

Wang Han looked back at Xiao Zhan for a loaded moment. Yibo thought he was weighing up whether he wanted the conversation to head this way. Wang Han was an open-minded man that loved both Yibo and Xiao Zhan deeply. Yibo suspected the military man with the gun and the handcuffs may actually be weighing on Wang Han’s mind more than he let either of them know.

Wang Han clucked his tongue. 

“Then tell us, Xiao Zhan. For those of us here and at home that really don’t understand. How  _ does _ this work? Are you able to - as you suggested - wake up one day and decide you don’t want this life for yourself anymore?” 

Game _on_. When this was all over, Yibo was going to give Wang Han the biggest hug ever. 

“Let me ask you this,” countered Xiao Zhan. “Could you wake up one morning and just  _ decide _ that you were not attracted to women anymore?”

“Well no,” said Wang Han, flummoxed. “I don’t believe that is a decision I could ever make actually, it's just not who I am”.

“It’s not a decision,” said Yibo, showing up to support Xiao Zhan. “I was born this way and there was nothing I could do about it. It’s the same for Xiao Zhan, and its the same for the approximately 80 million other gay people in this country”. 

“So what would you say to all those people out there that believe this  _ is _ a lifestyle choice, and you could change if you wanted to?” asked He Jiong, not missing a beat. 

“You try loving something that goes against the fundamental nature of who you are. You try  _ that _ and then tell me how happy that makes you,” quipped Yibo. 

He Jiong let Yibo’s words settle between them for a moment before he egged the conversation on further. 

“Are your parents supportive?” asked He Jiong. 

“Our parents love us very much. My parents love Yibo and Yibo’s parents love me. My parents flew to Luoyang this morning so they could be with Yibo’s parents while this aired,” said Xiao Zhan. 

“How have they reacted to the events of the last couple of weeks?” asked Wang Han. 

Xiao Zhan and Yibo had talked about this very question. Yibo knew that Wang Han would bring up the parents so they were ridiculously prepared for this question. 

Yibo looked Wang Han in the eye and turned his lips down into a firm frown. 

“People have reacted so irrationally that they’re absolutely terrified for our safety”. 

“Are you talking about the crowds?” clarified Wang Han. 

“Not just the crowds, but let's start there,” responded Xiao Zhan. “When we arrived in Changsha today at the airport, we couldn’t leave the building. Angry “fans” decided it was their responsibility to convey their displeasure to us by blocking the exit entirely. In the event that we had tried to get through, we would have definitely been injured. We had to inconvenience airport staff to smuggle us out a different way”. 

Remembering the terrified look on Xiao Zhan’s face earlier at the airport, Yibo reached out and squeezed his fiance’s knee once. He knew they weren’t supposed to touch each other but he could tell that Xiao Zhan needed it. 

“They showed up at our home, blocked other residents in our community from coming and going, vandalized the car of one of our neighbors. These crowds have put 25 people in hospital because they are attacking others in our name. So yes, our parents are terrified for our safety,” said Yibo angrily. 

“As a parent myself,” said Wang Han, “I can relate to this. But didi, you’re not even my son and I worry for your safety every day”. 

Yibo appreciated the solidarity from Wang Han. 

“We will be taking legal action against those individuals who caused others harm in our name, so please stop organizing these “protests”. Please stop showing up to these events or you will, eventually, find yourself facing the law,” said Xiao Zhan, looking straight into the camera. 

Jia had instructed them to say that, but Yibo knew that wasn’t going to act as any kind of deterrent. The both of them had been suing idiot fans for years and its had little to no impact on the collective fandom behavior. 

“You mentioned there was something else your parents were worried about in relation to your safety. What was that?” asked He Jiong. 

Xiao Zhan nodded. “Have you been online? There is so much blind hatred being thrown our way simply because we love each other. They are concerned that someone who disagrees with who we are might act out and try and hurt us,” explained Xiao Zhan. 

“You mean people who object to the fact that you’re gay?” clarified Wang Han.

Xiao Zhan nodded. “Yes. But we wanted to say to those people, why waste so much energy on hate like that, when you could literally move on and find something positive to invest your energy into. If you think that threatening us online is going to scare us out of being gay, or might scare us out of loving each other, we want you to know that isn’t going to happen. Whether the public loves us or hates us, we’re still going to be gay. And Yibo and I have been through so much together and we have a very solid relationship so I can tell you right now, no amount of fandom mess is going to drive us apart. Whether fandom approves or not, we will still love each other”. 

Yibo offered Xiao Zhan a small smile. Xiao Zhan claiming him on national television was doing things to Yibo’s insides. 

“Many of these fans believe you owe them an apology,” started He Jiong. “Do you feel like you might want to apologize to them?”

Yibo wanted to scream  _ fuck off _ into the camera, but he didn’t. 

“No,” he said, deadpan. 

“No?” prompted He Jiong. “Would you like to elaborate more on that?”

“We don’t owe  _ anyone _ an apology for being who we are”.

“But what about those fans who say you deceived them? These fans are saying you deliberately orchestrated that deceit because you knew by doing so it would bring you both increased fandom revenue. And that  _ is _ what happened, right?” pressed He Jiong. 

Yibo wanted to strangle He Jiong. He knew that the man was just doing his job, but for the love of god, what the  _ fuck _ kind of question was that?

“No, that is  _ not _ what happened,” retorted Yibo testily. “Back when we made that decision, our fandoms were fighting so much online, making so much drama everywhere that we went and directors were passing us over for jobs, citing our toxic fan spaces as the reason they didn’t want to work with us. We tried reasoning with the fans, we tried asking them to behave in more proper ways but all they cared about was chaos. We really didn’t think we had any other choice, and we were right weren’t we? The minute we severed public ties, the lunacy stopped almost overnight,” ranted Yibo.

“I would like to add,” said Xiao Zhan far more calmly than Yibo. “That when we made that decision, we never even considered the financial gains that we experienced as a result. We just wanted everyone to stop fighting in our names, that’s all. And Yibo’s right, it had the desired result”. 

Yibo wasn’t done though, not by a long shot. He had no idea what had come over him. He was always usually so reserved and polite when he was on this stage in front of these cameras, but right now his blood was boiling and he had very little desire to curb it for the optics of propriety. 

“Imagine having to go on camera and tell the world that you  _ hate _ the one person you love more than anything else. People should stop for three seconds and consider the pain that put us both through. If these fans had any humanity at all, then they would be asking those kinds of questions instead of running around pushing others over,” retorted Yibo. 

He was going to keep ranting as well, but Xiao Zhan reached out and covered Yibo’s hand with his own. Yibo wasn’t sure if the action was intended to calm him, or simply stop him from furthering on his tirade, but Yibo did stop talking. He moved his hand away from Xiao Zhan’s though, not wanting someone to make a fuss about the fact that they’d been touching on camera. 

“When you agreed to do this show,” said He Jiong carefully, “we reached out to some of these fans that were making all this noise”. 

Yibo stilled and trained his gaze on He Jiong’s face. 

He exchanged a glance with Xiao Zhan, but Xiao Zhan was also looking at He Jiong, the fire of a thousand suns blazing in his eyes. 

He Jiong cleared his throat. “Some of them are here and would like this opportunity to confront you with their feelings,” he said. 

Oh hell no. What the  _ fucking _ fuck was this? Wang Han had promised them no audience members. He had promised that it would just be the four of them, and now they were going to ambush them with  _ fans _ ? 

How could they do this to them? Yibo trusted Wang Han, he trusted He Jiong. How could they?

Yibo ground his teeth together and looked at Wang Han, but Wang Han was looking down at his feet. 

The air evaporated from Yibo’s lungs as he attempted to find all the ways he could tell them both to go fuck themselves on national television. 

But it was Xiao Zhan’s voice that stopped him from doing something irreversible that he would regret.

“You lied to us,” said Xiao Zhan darkly. 


	12. Chapter 12

Despite the fact that Xiao Zhan could see a storm raging inside Yibo’s eyes, the man was completely and utterly frozen solid. Xiao Zhan, however, was not rendered immovable by this bombshell and he was  _ so fucking done _ with this interview. 

He went to stand, fully intending to storm off this stage and out of these studios, but was halted in place by the appearance of the officer in his line of vision. The officer made eye contact with Xiao Zhan and crossed his arms over his chest, squaring off and oozing with authority. 

Xiao Zhan gulped and remained exactly where he was. According to the officer guarding the exit, neither Xiao Zhan nor Yibo were going anywhere at this moment. Xiao Zhan could tell that Yibo had noticed the exchange, and something registered in Wang Han too because he cleared his throat and started talking at Xiao Zhan hurriedly. 

“We didn’t lie, exactly. They’re not here, in the studio  _ per se _ . We have these people on video conference live feed waiting on standby,” explained Wang Han. 

Yibo was staring at Wang Han like he had seen a ghost. Yibo considered this man to be his second father. Xiao Zhan could only imagine the betrayal that Yibo must have been feeling right now. 

They couldn’t say no to this situation. Mr military man over there had made that abundantly clear: they would finish the interview and they would do as they were told.  _ God _ , this was not what Xiao Zhan and Yibo had in mind when they agreed to come here. In fact, nothing had gone the way they had wanted throughout this entire thing. Once again, Xiao Zhan felt like he had no control whatsoever over his life. And he  _ hated _ it. The point of coming out was to reclaim control over their personal lives. The point of coming here was to gain control of the narrative and  _ none _ of those things were happening. The fans, the industry, and everyone else around them were still very much dictating his actions and he wanted it all to stop. 

But he didn’t know what else to do, so he smiled politely and nodded his head. 

“Sure,” he agreed. “We’ll talk to them”. 

Xiao Zhan wanted to die inside. 

Yibo shifted on the couch beside him and Xiao Zhan looked over at him. His face was empty, void of the anger and emotion that had been present on his features for the duration of the interview so far. Xiao Zhan knew this face well. This was Yibo’s game face. His fiance might have been impulsive, but he was also very smart. Yibo had completely figured out what was happening and was falling in line, right alongside Xiao Zhan. 

They were so in sync. They always had been. Even when the world around them seemed like it was on fire and everything was burning down around them, he had always been able to count on Yibo to read a situation and do what they needed to in order to survive. 

A screen dropped down from the ceiling off to their right, effectively covering the exit to the stage. At least Xiao Zhan couldn’t see the officer anymore, so that was something. The face of two women popped up on the screen. Although Xiao Zhan couldn’t tell how old they were, he knew they weren’t exactly teenagers. They were about to be attacked by two grown women on national television who call themselves their “fans”. 

Xiao Zhan wanted to scream. 

“Thank you for joining us,” said He Jiong. 

“Mingmei,” began Wang Han, addressing one of the women. She waved at them casually. “You mentioned that you feel that Xiao Zhan owes you and the rest of his fans an apology. Would you like to explain to us why you feel that way?”

Xiao Zhan’s stomach lurched. They weren’t going to hold back, we’re they? 

He wished he had a bottle of water. 

“Well,” she began casually. “I have spent a long time following Mr Xiao Zhan’s career. I supported him because, apart from being very handsome and cute, I thought we stood for the same ideals. But he lied about who he really is on the inside and now I know that we do  _ not _ stand for the same things,” said Mingmei. 

Oh what the fucking fuck was this? Xiao Zhan couldn’t believe that Wang Han would put him in a position like this where he would have to defend his sexuality to strangers. 

Xiao Zhan sighed and rubbed his forehead. 

“Are you referring to the fact that I’m in a domestic relationship with someone of my own gender?” asked Xiao Zhan icily. 

He would play their game, but it didn’t mean he had to play it nicely. Xiao Zhan was  _ so done _ being Mr Nice Guy. 

Mingmei just nodded. 

Yibo snorted beside him. “Why does it matter so much to you who he loves? Do you have something personal against me?” asked Yibo. 

She shook her head. “It’s not about you exactly, its more about the … gay thing”. 

Xiao Zhan wished she would have at least had the decency to look sheepish or something, but this woman sat there, looking at him as if he really did owe her something because he had been born gay. 

“Well,” said Xiao Zhan holding up a finger. “Have you forgotten where you live? How could I have ever disclosed this information to anyone? I was locked in a closet by the law”.

How could people forget that so easily?

“That’s true,” interrupted Wang Han. “They couldn’t have said anything even if they had wanted to”. 

“And even if we could have said something, what makes you think we would want to? Why do you think you are entitled to that part of our lives?” barked Yibo. 

The passivity was gone off Yibo’s face now and the angry lion seemed to have returned. Xiao Zhan didn’t know if that was a good thing or not. 

Mingmei seemed to be thinking and a short silence enveloped them as she prepared her response. 

“But this is different. This is a matter of  _ morality _ . I have a child, and I don’t want her growing up thinking that I would be accepting of her if she decided she wanted to date a girl. My daughter needs to grow up understanding that she must get married and have children, it's the Chinese way”. 

Xiao Zhan’s mouth fell open. He could not believe the words that had just come from her mouth. She carried on though, not pausing at his ghastly reaction. 

“By supporting you, I've set an example for her that I support that … lifestyle. And I don’t. I can’t. I really wish the government had never changed those laws. Now you’re out here making a big old fuss and pushing your gay agenda on normal people. We don’t need that”. 

Xiao Zhan thought his head was going to explode. _Normal people?_

Yibo looked at Wang Han, his eyes huge. “Are you going to let her sit there and talk to us like that?”

Wang Han looked flustered, like he hadn’t been fully prepared for what she was going to say. But Xiao Zhan knew better. This particular  _ fan _ had been chosen for a reason. The part of the situation that Xiao Zhan was struggling with so much was that Wang Han would agree to do this to them. 

“Now Yibo, let’s not be hasty,” said He Jiong. 

“ _ Hasty _ ?” retorted Yibo. “This person just said that my very existence is  _ immoral _ on national television. Tell me what part of my reaction is me being hasty?”

“Would you like to respond to Ms Mingmei’s statement then?” asked Wang Han. 

Yibo looked at Wang Han with daggers in his eyes. 

“I think the only thing that justifies a response is to say that I’m sorry for her kid. Thank god I didn’t grow up in a household like yours,” Yibo snorted nastily. 

Xiao Zhan let his head drop into his hands for a moment. Yibo was going to ruin them both if Xiao Zhan didn’t find a way to salvage this, not that he blamed Yibo at all. But the cameras were still rolling. 

“I think what Yibo means,” began Xiao Zhan. It took everything he had inside of him to steady his voice. He wanted to shout at this person and spit at them. Xiao Zhan did not think they deserved his civility. 

“What he means is that in the event that your daughter does grow up to be gay, he hopes that you would support her and love her anyway. We can’t change who we are. We are born like this. Do you think anyone would actually choose this life for themselves when everywhere we go we are met with so much hate and opposition?”

Xiao Zhan wanted to pat himself on the back. His response was far more than she deserved. 

“My daughter will not turn out like you. I will not allow it,” replied Mingmei easily. 

Xiao Zhan smiled at her sadly. “You won't have a say in that matter, unfortunately”. 

“I will, and I can. I can live a moral life and set a good example for her. Show her what is right and what is wrong. But I brought you into our home and our lives and you are not a good example for what is right”. 

Xiao Zhan squared his shoulders and glowered at her. 

“I am not going to apologize for who I am. Not to you, and not to anyone. And furthermore, I am not going to apologize for hiding this part of my life from everyone when the law demanded that I do so”. 

Xiao Zhan looked at Yibo, who was looking back at Xiao Zhan a little wondrously. Xiao Zhan wished he could celebrate his bravery with Yibo in that moment, because neither of these hosts seemed to be trying to throw either of them a lifeboat right now, but he couldn’t. He wasn't finished with his statement yet. 

Xiao Zhan leveled his eyes at Wang Han now and held his gaze steady. If they weren’t going to help either of them, Xiao Zhan wasn’t going to sugar coat the message anymore. 

“I want to make it very clear that Yibo and I are not here to bow down to fan pressure. We’re not here to apologize for hiding our relationship. We’re not here to allow you to intimidate us back into hiding. You can’t break us. We are simply here because enough of you are going around behaving like spoiled children on a schoolyard playground and it seems you’re taking it upon yourselves to compromise the future of our public careers. We will decide if and when we’re done. Not you,” retorted Xiao Zhan. 

Wang Han was stunned into silence in front of him, obviously not expecting such a candid and honest response from Xiao Zhan. In all the years Wang Han had known Xiao Zhan, he had always been one to tow the line. But towing the line wasn’t working anymore. 

Xiao Zhan powered on before either of the hosts regained their ability to speak and attempted to silence him and move on. 

“If you cannot support my work anymore because you don’t like who I really am, that’s fine. It’s better if we part ways, really. Because I don’t support your values either. This relationship,” said Xiao Zhan using his hand to point to Mingmei and then back at himself “is now defective and no longer worth nourishing. So please take your homophobia elsewhere and leave Yibo and I alone”. 

Xiao Zhan’s hands were shaking, though he didn’t know if that was because he was terrified of what he just did, or if it was simply the adrenaline coursing through him that gave him the bravery to even say such things on camera. 

As Xiao Zhan was trying to still his thundering heart, Yibo reached over and gave him a look that said  _ fuck the laws _ and laced their fingers together. Against his better judgement, Xiao Zhan clamped down on Yibo’s hand gratefully. If their ship was sinking, they might as well go down with a bang. 

“Well, umm, it seems that we have lost the feed with Mingmei,” said Wang Han. 

Xiao Zhan knew that translated to the fact that Mingmei had cut the line. 

“Okay, well that leaves Miss Sying. I believe she has something she would like to say to Yibo”.

Yibo rolled his eyes. “Are you going to tell us what an abomination we are as well?”

Xiao Zhan squeezed Yibo’s hand. Down kitty. 

“I don’t have a problem with the gay thing,” said Sying. “My best friend is dating a woman”. 

Xiao Zhan raised his eyebrows in surprise. Was it possible that this fan wasn’t here to hurt them at all?

“Oh?” asked Yibo. 

She nodded at him. “My issue isn’t with that. My issue is with  _ him _ ,” said Sying, pointing at Xiao Zhan. 

Xiao Zhan rolled his eyes. Okay, so this clearly wasn’t going to be a positive experience either. 

“And what have I ever done to you?” asked Xiao Zhan. 

“It’s not what you’ve done to me, it’s what you’ve done to Yibo. Yibo, how could you say you love this man when he has done so many things over the years to damage your career?” she asked, the disbelief evident in her voice. 

“What exactly do you mean by that?” prompted Wang Han. 

“When they were both signed with their idol agencies, Wajijiwa paid bloggers to harass Yibo online so many times. They started fires in his name to try and sully his reputation. They stole roles from Yibo that were rightfully his and gave them to Xiao Zhan and they harassed your MTJJ squad endlessly online, making us all utterly miserable”. 

Yibo dropped Xiao Zhan’s hand and turned to face Sying properly. 

“Wow,” he said, exhaling. “First of all, do you think that Xiao Zhan or myself had any knowledge of those things as they were unfolding? We didn’t. Those attacks were orchestrated by executives far above our pay grade and they kept us in the dark. Secondly, Yuehua  _ also _ did those things to Xiao Zhan as well, so we’re not the innocent party here either”. 

Yibo glared at her, daring her to challenge him. When she didn’t, he continued. 

“We were pawns in this industry, just like you’re all pawns. These online antics and idol wars that happen are orchestrated so the people at the top can make a lot of money off of people like you, and you all blindly continue to fall for their games and you let them exploit you. You let them exploit us”. 

“Yibo, didi, what do you mean by that?” asked Wang Han. 

Xiao Zhan noticed that Yibo winced at Wang Han’s term of endearment. Like the king he is though, he didn’t flinch and he answered the question. 

“If fans stopped reacting to every tiny bomb that these industry people are planting in our names, then the demand for these events would go away and eventually, the industry would stop investing money in such things. I wish fans would start thinking more, use their brains and stop fueling the toxic wasteland that has become this industry”.

“Ah I see. So Sying, do you still consider yourself Yibo’s fan? Do you think you could lead by example and maybe start doing some of the things he suggested?” asked Wang Han. 

Xiao Zhan cocked his head. 

“I don’t, no. I can’t support someone that is linked to Xiao Zhan. I just can’t forgive him for all the mess he created for Yibo years ago”. 

Xiao Zhan groaned. Everything Yibo had just said fell on completely deaf ears. 

“Why do you have to forgive him for anything? Why do you get to judge him like that?” asked Yibo terse. 

Xiao Zhan reached out and tapped Yibo’s knee. He didn’t need to fight this battle for him. 

“No, Xiao Zhan,” said Yibo. “This is senseless, irrational behavior. She is holding you responsible for something you didn’t do. Something you had no control over. They don’t even know you. This is not just about you and I either,” said Yibo, turning back to Sying now. 

“Tell me,” he barked. “Why do you think you have a right to direct how we feel about something or how we respond to a situation? Why do you think you have a right to any part of my life that is not connected to a show I’m acting in?”

“Oof,” said He Jiong quietly. 

Xiao Zhan had no idea why they were surprised by Yibo’s frankness. Or maybe they weren’t surprised at all, maybe they were counting on the beast breaking free from the cage. 

Everyone waited for Sying to reply. It was a moment before she spoke.

“Over the years, I have kept a running tally of all the money that I have spent on you and our fandom. Would you like to know how much I have spent?”

Yibo shrugged his shoulders casually. “Sure, lay it on me”. 

“Twenty-seven thousand dollars. And my tally is small compared to some of the others”. 

Xiao Zhan’s mouth fell open. What the actual fuck was wrong with these people? 

Wang Han gasped audibly across from him. He Jiong’s eyes were bugging out of their sockets. 

Yibo  _ snorted _ . “Why would you do that? That’s completely insane!”

Xiao Zhan rubbed his forehead as the gravity of her words rested on his shoulders. 

“This is not what we want fans to do,” he murmured quietly. 

“Are you saying you don’t want us to support your endorsements?” asked Sying, raising an eyebrow. 

“No,” said Xiao Zhan. “That’s not what I mean. Buy a tube of toothpaste or go and get the juice when you’re at the grocery store, but don’t spend a down payment on a house as a way to prove that you love us. We don’t need you to do that. We don't want you to”. 

“Why do you endorse these products if you don’t want us to buy them?” she challenged. 

“We don’t want you to buy them  _ all _ ,” argued Yibo. “Do you have a child? You could have saved all that money for their education or something. This kind of fan behavior? This is suffocating and honestly, it makes me want to disappear”. 

“Hold on, Yibo, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here,” said He Jiong. “Sying, are you saying that because you spent so much money on Yibo here that you feel like he owes you something?”

“I guess, when you put it like that, yes,” agreed Sying, nodding. 

“And exactly what do you think he owes you?” countered Wang Han, raising an eyebrow. 

“We don’t like  _ him _ ,” she complained, pointing at Xiao Zhan again. “We want him to be happy but we just don’t want it to be with him. Choose someone _else_ ”. 

Yibo groaned loudly and raked a hand over his face. 

“You don't get a say in who I choose to live my life with. I don’t care  _ how _ much money you spent on my career. That was your choice, and it was a bad one. But it was your choice. Just because you spent money does not mean you own me and it doesn’t mean you get to dictate anything to do with my personal life at all”.

Yibo was vibrating. His face was beet red and his hands were shaking. He reminded Xiao Zhan of a volcano about to explode. 

“You know what, I am so done here”. 

Xiao Zhan gaped as Yibo stood up, pulled the microphone pack from around his waist and stalked off in the direction of the exit. 

Fuck. 

Xiao Zhan wanted to run after him, but he remained rooted in his seat. Wang Han recovered quickly enough and began murmuring things about how this was clearly the end and thanks for watching and blah blah. 

The second the crew called cut, Xiao Zhan was out of his seat. He darted around the screen that had shielded them from the exit and was halted in his tracks the minute he reached the door. 

In all the drama that unfolded on the stage, Xiao Zhan had forgotten that the officer had been guarding the exit. He skidded to a halt when he saw Yibo being flanked by the officer on one side and Liling on the other. When Xiao Zhan looked at his fiance, Yibo just shrugged his shoulders. 

Oh fuck, they were in trouble. 

“Come with me, please,” said the officer. His tone was polite, but Xiao Zhan knew it was a command rather than a request. 

The officer wasn’t asking them if they would accompany him, he was telling them to. Xiao Zhan knew enough about how his country worked that if the government came for you, you were  _ definitely _ in some kind of trouble. 

So Xiao Zhan and Yibo did what they were told. They fell into step alongside the officer and walked off to face whatever fate was awaiting them. 


	13. Chapter 13

Yibo sat down on the couch in his dressing room and Xiao Zhan sat on the very opposite end. Liling stood by the door, but the officer retrieved the chair from Yibo’s vanity mirror and brought it over so he could sit in front of the couch - in front of Xiao Zhan and Yibo. 

Despite the fact that he was trying really hard to hold it together, Yibo’s heart was hammering in his chest. He wondered if Xiao Zhan was also silently shitting himself. He had a better poker face than Yibo did though, so it was hard for Yibo to read his emotions right now. 

The man was quiet and just regarded both of them silently for a few moments. 

Yibo couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Are you arresting us?” he asked quietly. 

The officer raised an eyebrow at Yibo. “Did you break a law?”

“Did we?” asked Yibo. “It was a reflex. I should have exercised more self control on that stage. I didn’t mean to grab for his hand but we were being attacked and ….” Yibo trailed off.

Xiao Zhan shot him an expression that screamed _please stop_. 

“You are not here because you touched his hand,” responded the officer. 

“Okay…” said Yibo. 

“I am here on President Xi Jinping’s order to engage in a _dialogue_ with you both,” he explained. 

Xiao Zhan made a tiny strangled noise. 

“The president sent you?” asked Yibo dryly. 

_Fuck_. 

The officer nodded. “Yes”. 

Yibo and Xiao Zhan said nothing and waited for him to continue.

“I am Lieutenant General Zhang Xie Ying. You can call me Lieutenant General, or just General is fine by me”. 

He was so absolutely polite that it was kind of freaking Yibo out. 

“What can we do for you, General?” asked Xiao Zhan bravely. 

“The President sees a unique opportunity in the two of you that he would like to capitalize on. You see, despite the fact that not everyone in the Party wanted to change the laws impacting the two of you, as a world leader, we were getting all kinds of negative attention abroad about the “treatment” of our LGBTQ community here in China. So we went ahead and changed the law,” he explained. 

The General looked between both Xiao Zhan and Yibo respectfully as he spoke. Despite the polite tone of his voice, Yibo didn’t like his words. _Unique opportunity_? That didn’t sound good to Yibo. 

“The President already regards this particular community as a threat to China’s stability because of the way they are able to organize so there is some lingering fear that now that things are legal, they will radicalize further and try to degrade the foundations of our society more than we have already allowed”. 

Yibo couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Degrade China’s society? The President really thought the gay people in China were going to corrupt everyone? That was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard. Most people just want to live in peace with the one they love. Because of their public status, Xiao Zhan and Yibo had both stayed well away from queer spaces over the years but that didn’t mean they didn’t watch on with fond eyes. Xiao Zhan especially tried to stay up to date with queer progress. And the General was right in the sense that the LGBTQ community _did_ seem to be able to organize and mobilize with remarkable skill, but they weren’t doing anything other than fighting for their basic human rights. 

Did the President of their country really thing that all the gays were out here trying to make everyone else gay? 

It was the _most_ preposterous thing that Yibo had ever heard, and quite frankly, he was disgusted. He couldn’t believe people were brainwashed enough to actually let those kinds of thoughts run around in their minds. 

Yibo had been on the defense for weeks now. It was no surprise then, that he opened his mouth to respond to such trash talk from this man sitting in front of them. XIao Zhan seemed to anticipate this though and jumped in first. 

“What does this have to do with us?” asked Xiao Zhan, completely ignoring all the offensive and horrible things that had just been spewed in their direction. 

“Well,” he began tentatively. Was he stalling now? This man was _stalling_? Yibo had no idea what was going on here. 

“You publicly came out and you seem to be garnering quite a following in online spaces of others like yourselves and they are rallying,” he explained. 

They had been so focused on all the hate they were getting from their fandoms that they hadnt really had time to check in and see how the queer community was reacting to what they did. 

“What do you mean, rallying? Please don’t tell us they’re using our names to do bad things, like the rest of the fandom spaces seem to be doing,” asked Yibo, suddenly _very_ tired of this conversation.

He wanted to go home, crawl into bed with Xiao Zhan, and eat ice cream from the tub. He was _so_ tired of people doing things in his name. 

“Let me be clearer,” said the General. “By rallying I mean, at least at the moment, they’re just gathering in online spaces and vocally supporting you and anyone else that is using this time as a chance to come out, like you did”. 

“That doesn’t seem so bad,” commented Xiao Zhan. “And they’re well within their legal rights now, considering the new laws”. 

The General nodded. “The President would agree that if this is all that occurs as a result of your coming out, then this is acceptable. However, he would like to get ahead of the game and ensure that nothing else _will_ ”. 

Yibo tilted his head and regarded the General. He was properly confused. 

“With all due respect sir, I have no idea what you’re talking about. What does this have to do with us?” asked Yibo. 

“If you’ll allow me to explain… the President wants you to guide the community and be a model for the kind of behavior he would approve of from someone within the LGBTQ community”. 

Oh _fuck_. 

The government wanted to use them to influence the queer community. 

“I’m sorry,” said Xiao Zhan, now less calm. “What?”

The General paused, giving Xiao Zhan a minute to catch up. 

“The President intends to use your public image to control the narrative and provide an example of what a good Chinese gay person would say and do,” he said, clearer this time. 

Jesus fuck, this whole sitaution couldn’t have gone any worse. When they came out, they just wanted to live their lives, hold hands on the street occasionally, and tell the people around them that they love each other. They didn’t want _this_. They didn’t want all the fandom wars - this was supposed to end all that! They didn’t want to be martyrs for their queer community and they certainly didn’t want to become a government pawn. 

Because that was exactly what this was. 

If they agreed to this, the government would control everything they did in public from this moment forward, which was the exact _opposite_ of what changing those laws was supposed to do. 

They were supposed to be able to get married and live their lives like everyone else, but because they were public figures, the government decided that, unlike regular people, they didn’t get to enjoy those same rights and freedoms. 

Every part of this was completely and totally fucked up. 

Yibo wasn’t having it. 

“What if we say no?” he asked, raising his eyebrow. 

Xiao Zhan grunted next to him. 

“This is not so much an _offer_ ,” explained the General. “Think of this as a condition of the continuation of your public lives”. 

Yibo shook his head. “Okay, I’m definitely confused now. What does _that_ mean?”

Yibo knew what it meant, he just wanted the bastard to say it out loud. 

“If you want to continue working as a public figure in China, you _will_ do this. Otherwise, that’s it for your careers”. 

It was like a slap in Yibo’s face. So much for attempting to have it all, huh? The government was effectively castrating them both. 

For Yibo, this was a no brainer. But for Xiao Zhan? Yibo knew this was going to destroy him. 

He looked over at the man he loved more than anything else in this life, who was now sitting opposite Yibo with his head in his hands. Yibo desperately wanted to reach out and comfort his lover, but he thought better of it at that moment. 

Xiao Zhan eventually lifted his head. 

“The LGBTQ community wont follow a single thing we do once we announce that we are your “community spokesperson”. The government has tried to silence them for decades so the second this partnership is announced, they’ll do the exact _opposite_ of what we ask of them,” said Xiao Zhan. 

Oh shit. Yibo hadn’t even thought of that, but Xiao Zhan was right. Regular citizens almost never spoke out against the government in China, but this particular community had - many times - inadvertently and explicitly. They would never go for something like this. 

The General just nodded his head. “Yes, we understand that. Which is why there will be no official announcement made. No one will ever be allowed to know that you are acting as our arm”. 

Oh _fuck that_. 

Yibo groaned loudly. 

Xiao Zhan gnashed his lips together in a firm line. 

“Why do they even want us? Can’t they see the disasters that we leave everywhere we go right now?” asked Xiao Zhan.

“Actually, the President is perfectly happy with the fandom’s response to your situation. He is tired of Chinese citizens behaving so appallingly in such public spaces that are accessed by millions around the world. He wants it to stop. The interview that happened today was excellent. You both performed so well. It really highlighted just how broken fandom culture is here”. 

Hold the fuck on for just a minute.

“ _You_ orchestrated that? It was you all along wasn’t it? You’re the one that brought those maniac fans here today to confront us like that?” barked Yibo, _all_ respect and propriety now gone from his voice. 

“Wait, what?” asked Xiao Zhan, his head whipping around. 

Yibo turned to him, aghast. “It wasn’t He Jiong and Han-ge, Xiao Zhan. The government forced them to do that to us today. How could you do that?” he asked, turning back to the General.

“We are _people_ before we are anything else. How could you knowingly set us up for such a public crucifixion like that? We were disrespected in every way possible. Have you no humanity?”

Yibo was on the verge of losing it. He could feel his heart racing in his chest as he spat the accusations at the General in front of him. If the General was offended though, he didn’t let it register on his face. 

The picture of perfect resolve he said “The President considered it a necessary blow for the desired effect. The discussions are already permeating every part of online spaces, highlighting just how bad fandom culture is. The President plans to introduce a bill soon that will overhaul and regulate the entire online environment and he needed something like this to use as a springboard”.

Yibo snorted rudely and leveled his eyes at the man. The government was planning to censor the internet and they effectively sacrificed Xiao Zhan and Yibo up as bait. 

“I suppose he is going to expect _us_ to be his pin up boys for that little campaign as well, huh”.

The sarcasm was positively dripping off Yibo’s tongue. 

That’s why, when the General didn’t say anything, Yibo exploded. 

“Oh hell no. Fuck that, we’re not doing that!” he yelled. 

“Yibo!” admonished Xiao Zhan. “Enough”. 

Yibo shot to his feet then, unable to contain the energy coursing through him any longer. He whirled around, intending to pace a line in the carpet, but he found himself face to face with Liling. 

He had completely forgotten that she was even here. 

She was standing taut, her shoulders rigid and her hands laced in front of her body. She looked at Yibo with a cool expression.

“You….” he trailed off. 

“You had something to do with this,” he accused her. “You disappeared without a word. No one knew where you were”. 

Liling cleared her throat. “Not exactly,” she said. 

Xiao Zhan got up now too and moved to stand next to Yibo. His hands found their way to his hips. 

“They …” she paused, looking over at the General before speaking anything else. 

“It’s okay,” he said. “I don’t think the President would mind you sharing the full extent of your involvement with the boys. In fact, I would imagine he would encourage it”. 

Liling cleared her throat again. 

“They came to my apartment, Yibo. They knocked on my door in the middle of the night and demanded that I go with them. I didn’t agree to anything on your behalf, but they did force me to set up the interview today as it played out. They used me to threaten Wang Han and He Jiong into compliance and they’re using me now to ensure you’re also complicit,” explained Liling. 

Yibo pulled his brows together.

“Exactly _how_ are they using you?”asked Xiao Zhan.

“If you choose to disappear from public life in order to avoid this all my professional licenses will be revoked and I’ll never be able to work again. It seems they’ve tied my livelihood to yours,” she said sadly. 

All the fight left Yibo’s body. 

This was no longer just about them, but then again, when had it ever been just about them?

Yibo looked at Liling and Xiao Zhan sadly. They were backed into a corner. Choice, it seemed, had been entirely removed from the equation. 

“Now that you’re aware of the full extent of the situation, I’ll take my leave and give you some space to discuss this with each other,” said the General. “We will be in contact tomorrow to hear your decision”. 

The General stood up from the chair and moved over to the door. He opened it, and held it open as he cast his eyes over at Liling. She sighed and stepped in his direction. 

“Where are you going?” demanded Yibo. 

He had _many_ things he still wanted to say to his manager. 

“She is going to stay with us for now,” explained the General. “Just until you make your choice”.

Yibo’s draw dropped to the floor as Liling refused to meet his eyes. She ferried herself past him and did what she was told and exited the room in front of the General. 

The realization that the government was holding Liling hostage as collateral to _encourage_ them to choose in their favor was making Yibo feel sick. Wang Han, He Jiong, Liling - they had all been subjected to harassment and coercion from the government all because Yibo and Xiao Zhan couldn’t contain their gay hearts any longer and made a big old mess online. He wondered if other executives at Hunan had also faced their wrath. 

If they had just kept their relationship to themselves, none of this would have happened. The guilt made Yibo’s stomach turn. 

He looked over at Xiao Zhan, who did not seem to be swimming in the same pool of despair as Yibo. Xiao Zhan was looking at him with fire in his eyes and it scared Yibo just a little. Yibo could count the number of times that he had ever seen Xiao Zhan affected by this much rage on one hand. 

When Xiao Zhan opened his mouth, Yibo was shocked at what came out of it. 

“We are _not_ doing this, Yibo. They can fuck _all the way_ off, do you hear me?”


	14. Chapter 14

Back in their hotel room, Yibo sat on the bed across from Xiao Zhan, who was now at the tail end of a meltdown and was rubbing tears from his eyes. Xiao Zhan had started crying the minute they left the studio and Yibo couldn't get him back to the hotel fast enough. Once inside the privacy of their room, the floodgates _really_ opened. Yibo just sat on the bed with Xiao Zhan and let him cry out all the fear and frustration he had been holding in over the last few weeks. 

Yibo reached his hand out and rubbed small circles of comfort on Xiao Zhan’s knee, but he gave him space and waited for him to be ready to talk. 

Eventually, Xiao Zhan sniffled and dragged the back of his sleeve across his nose. Yibo reached for a tissue and handed it to Xiao Zhan. 

After several more minutes, Xiao Zhan’s breathing started to return to normal, and despite the fact that his eyes were red and puffy, no fresh tears had fallen for a couple of minutes now. 

“Okay now?” asked Yibo softly. 

Xiao Zhan nodded and blew his nose into the tissue. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “Everything was just …”

“A bit much?” asked Yibo, finishing the sentence for him. 

Xiao Zhan nodded. 

Yibo reached up and traced the outline of Xiao Zhan’s eyes with his index finger. 

“You’re so beautiful when you cry,” he told Xiao Zhan. “The tears get stuck on your beautiful eyelashes and you have the _cutest_ pout”. 

Xiao Zhan grunted. “You like it when I cry?”

Yibo shook his head. “Well no. I don’t like it when you’re sad or stressed enough to cry, but _damn_ , you’re cute when you do”.

A small smile crept onto Xiao Zhan’s face. It wasn’t one of his show stopping full smiles that broke people’s hearts when he unleashed it, but a hint of it was definitely there. 

Mission accomplished. 

“After almost a decade together you’re just realizing this now?” asked Xiao Zhan. 

Yibo smiled at him coyly. “I’ll never stop finding new things to love about you, Zhan-ge. The possibilities are endless!”

“Ridiculous!” responded Xiao Zhan. But he giggled a little so Yibo knew that he was at least feeling a little better. 

“So…” said Yibo after a loaded minute. “We should probably talk about - ”

Xiao Zhan cut him off. 

“There’s nothing to talk about, Yibo. I meant what I said back at the studio. We’re not doing it”. 

“The General seemed pretty sure that we would,” countered Yibo, raising an eyebrow. 

“Are you suggesting that you think they’re not _really_ going to give us the choice? Like they’ll force us anyway?” Xiao Zhan pulled his eyebrows together in terror. 

Yibo shrugged. 

“I really don’t know. They will cut us off though, Xiao Zhan. If we don’t cooperate with them, we will have to disappear from public life. We’ll have to move somewhere small and quiet and live away from anyone that might recognize us, at least for a while until people forget who we are”. 

“I know, darling. I know,” murmured Xiao Zhan sadly. 

“Are you ready for that?”

Xiao Zhan looked over at Yibo carefully now, clearly weighing his words. 

“I love what I do, Yibo. You know that. Hell, we’ve both fought _so_ hard to keep our careers alive over the years during moments where it looked like we might lose them. But this? This isn’t the same thing”. 

When Yibo didn’t say anything, Xiao Zhan continued. 

“We have so many restrictions placed on us as public figures already. The things we will and won’t be allowed to do if we agree to this will only increase. Do you really think they’re going to let us go and live our happy gay lives in the public like that? They won't. They’ll keep us so busy doing their bidding that we won't ever be in the same place at the same time and we won’t be able to complain or object. How would a relationship survive if we can’t ever be together?”

Yibo exhaled loudly and raised his eyebrows. He hadn’t even thought of that. 

“You think that’s why they’re doing this? To try and drive us apart as punishment for acting out?” he asked, horrified. 

Xiao Zhan shrugged. 

“I don’t know, but honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me. I do think they want to use us, exactly as the General said, but it wouldn’t surprise me if they were also trying to pull something like this. Yibo, we’ve fought way too hard for each other to just give up now”. 

Yibo reached out and pulled Xiao Zhan towards him. He pulled them both backwards so Yibo was sitting propped up against the bed frame. He wrapped his arms and his legs around Xiao Zhan’s body and pressed them together. Xiao Zhan dropped his head on Yibo’s shoulder and squeezed him tight. 

“Are you ready to just walk away, though?” he asked softly. 

“I’m trying _really_ hard not to look at it like that. I’m trying to frame it that I’m walking towards you, towards a stable, uncomplicated life with you by my side. It feels less defeatist that way”. 

“There is another option that we haven’t really talked about…” began Yibo. 

Xiao Zhan murmured against his chest. “Hmm? And what is that, darling?”

“We could … leave? Move somewhere else? Start over?”

Xiao Zhan pulled back from Yibo’s embrace then and sat back up. He looked down into Yibo’s eyes solemnly. 

“You mean leave _China_?”

Yibo just nodded. It had been something that he had contemplated lately. He suspected he knew where Xiao Zhan would fall on this issue, but he wanted to bring it up anyway. 

As Yibo predicted, Xiao Zhan grimaced. 

“There are other countries, Xiao Zhan. Other countries that don’t make it so hard for people like us to have a normal, happy life,” he explained, as if Xiao Zhan didn’t already know this. 

“But our parents? Our friends…”

“I know,” said Yibo quickly. “We would have to start over and it would be hard. But this is hard too, so I just thought I would throw it out there as an option”. 

“Yibo….. I know that the government here makes things difficult for gay people and they seem dead set on making it even harder for us. But I love our families. I love your parents and I love mine. We can’t give them grandchildren so I don’t also want to take _us_ away from them too, you know?”

Yibo nodded. He had known deep down that Xiao Zhan wouldn't go for this option but he felt a responsibility to himself to put it into the universe. 

“I know, Zhan-ge, it’s okay”. 

Xiao Zhan scratched his cheek softly. 

“But it's about more than that, too. Despite how hard it is for gay people here, despite the fact that we will probably live our entire lives in the face of homophobia and some kind of oppression, I _love_ China and I _love_ being Chinese. I don’t want to go anywhere else. This is our home, and it's part of who we are,” Xiao Zhan explained. 

Yibo leaned forward and placed a kiss on Xiao Zhan’s cheek, right where he had been scratching moments ago. 

“Do you really want to leave?” asked Xiao Zhan sadly. 

Yibo shook his head. “I want to be where you are. If it's in the public eye, doing the government’s bidding, if it's in a cabin in the woods somewhere growing carrots, or whether it's in a different country, starting over, I just want to be where you are and I want to make sure we considered all our options,” said Yibo softly. 

Xiao Zhan regarded him carefully for a moment and cocked his head. 

“Yibo, sweetheart, while that sentiment is absolutely beautiful and I love you too, by the way, you can’t just follow me blindly into the world. What you want matters too,” said Xiao Zhan. 

Yibo shrugged his shoulders. “I thought you knew what I wanted on this issue, so I didn’t think I needed to say it out loud again”.

“We are about to make a life altering decision. One way or another, our lives are about to change dramatically. I need you to say it out loud, didi,” exasperated Xiao Zhan. 

Yibo thought about it for a moment. Xiao Zhan was right in that none of the options they were facing right now were options they would have chosen for themselves. This is _not_ what they wanted for themselves or how they pictured the next phase of their lives together. 

“Honestly, Xiao Zhan. I hate this. I don’t want any of this. What I want, we can’t have”. 

Xiao Zhan reached out and dragged a hand through Yibo’s hair. 

“And what do you want?” he murmured softly. 

Yibo rolled his eyes. “What’s the point? We can’t have it so why even say it out loud?”

“Humor me,” asked Xiao Zhan. 

So he did. Who was Yibo to deny Xiao Zhan anything?

“I want to keep acting. I want to get married. I want to live without all the fan harassment. Why can’t we just go to work and come home and live our lives together? That’s what I want,” complained Yibo. 

“Well,” said Xiao Zhan, patting Yibo’s leg gingerly. “We definitely can have a version of that”. 

“How so?” asked Yibo. 

“Well, we _can_ have a life where we get married and go to work and come home and live our lives together. We can have that, Yibo. We just have to change our jobs”. 

“You want to walk away,” said Yibo, resigned. 

“Don’t you?” asked Xiao Zhan. “That’s exactly the scenario you just presented to me”. 

Yibo pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth. 

“I want you to be sure though, Zhan-ge. You enjoy public life way more than I do,” said Yibo. 

“Wang Yibo, what part of you thinks that I would _enjoy_ any part of becoming a government tool? Unfortunately, our public lives are compromised now. We can’t have one without the other”. 

Xiao Zhan was right, clearly their country was not going to let them have their cake and eat it too. 

Yibo sighed deeply. Everything about this was completely fucked. 

“I will miss acting so much. I really do love it. But I won't miss the fans. I won't miss the bullshit they do online, and I won’t miss being mobbed,” said Yibo. 

Xiao Zhan grunted. “God, I might enjoy public life more than you Yibo, but I’m not going to miss a damn thing about any of that either”. 

Yibo looked at Xiao Zhan and pulled him back against his chest, suddenly feeling oddly emotional. He pressed their bodies together and allowed Xiao Zhan’s heat to envelope him whole. 

“How did we make it through all this Xiao Zhan? How did we get here still standing next to each other?” asked Yibo in a small voice. 

He had no idea where these emotions were coming from, but he was feeling _all_ the things in that moment. 

“Oh darling,” said Xiao Zhan. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Yibo’s chest through his t-shirt. “We made it because we chose love. Our love was stronger than all the hate and we held onto that, we held onto each other, when the going got really tough. Instead of letting all the mess and drama that we’ve been through over the years erode what we have, we used to to solidify our foundation and we dug our heels in”. 

Xiao Zhan pulled back and looked into Yibo’s eyes. Yibo choked on a sob and cupped Xiao Zhan’s face in his hands. He pulled the man towards him and covered his lips with his own. 

A single tear fell from the corner of Yibo’s eye. 

When Xiao Zhan pulled back, he regarded Yibo gently. 

“Why are you crying?” he asked, using a finger to gently push Yibo’s tear away. 

“I just love you so much. I feel so lucky that you love me back. Sometimes, I get overwhelmed by it all, you know?

Xiao Zhan kissed his forehead and threaded their hands together firmly. 

“I love you too, Yibo. You matter more than anything else. Okay?”

Yibo nodded. 

A silence fell between them then, as they snuggled in next to each other and laid on the bed, holding each other as they digested this new information.

They were packing up their lives, and starting over. He really hoped the government would just let them go. 

Then, Yibo suddenly realized that they hadn’t considered everything.

“Xiao Zhan, what about Liling?” asked Yibo painfully. 

Xiao Zhan just nodded against his chest. “I thought about her too, Yibo. We’ll take care of her, okay? We won’t let her become destitute. We owe her that much, and we can afford to support her if we need to”. 

Yibo grunted. 

“We really made a mess, didn’t we?” asked Yibo quietly. 

He ran his hands up and down Xiao Zhan’s spine. 

“What our staff said is probably true. While the laws may have changed, China really hasn’t. It wouldn’t have mattered if we had waited a few months or even a year to come out. The result would probably have been the same. I was tired of the closet and I wouldn’t go back in now for anything, so this was probably always inevitable,” said Xiao Zhan sadly. 

Yibo let Xiao Zhan’s words rest in the air around them. A deep sadness washed over him as he realized just how right Xiao Zhan was. 

“Do you think it will ever get better?” asked Yibo. 

Xiao Zhan nodded. “It’s already getting better, but for public figures like us? We’re held to an entirely different standard. I don’t think I really ever realized just how much until we came out. So I think it will take a bit longer for things to get better for people like us”. 

Yibo pushed him back now and sat up. He rubbed his eyes tiredly. 

“Where the hell are we going to go? Where will we live? What will we do?” asked Yibo, with much more urgency than before. 

He hadn’t really ever got this far in his thinking whenever he entertained the idea of leaving public life. 

Xiao Zhan sat up with him, mirroring Yibo’s posture. 

“Hey,” said Xiao Zhan. “We don’t have to have all the answers right now, okay? We will work it all out, I promise.”

Yibo raised an eyebrow at Xiao Zhan. 

“When do you want to get married?” he asked. 

Xiao Zhan groaned loudly. “As soon as fucking possible!”

Yibo pulled the necklace he was wearing from underneath his shirt and unclasped the lock. He removed the ring and pushed it onto his finger. 

Awareness twinkled in Xiao Zhan’s eyes as he did the same. 

“You’re never taking that off again, do you hear me? That ring stays on your finger where it fucking belongs,” declared Yibo. 

Xiao Zhan giggled. “Yes darling, whatever you want.”


	15. Epilogue

The salty smell of the sea air filled Xiao Zhan’s nostrils as he pushed the front door open to the home he shared with Yibo. 

“Yibo,” called Xiao Zhan as he struggled to balance all the bags in his hands. “Yibo, are you here? Come help me with the groceries”.

Xiao Zhan grunted as he noticed that all the french doors that opened out onto their back deck were currently open, so he knew Yibo had to be here somewhere. 

Xiao Zhan absolutely loved their little beachside cottage. This space they had created for themselves here brought them so much joy that Xiao Zhan had a hard time remembering a time before this. 

When they had politely declined the government's “offer”, Xiao Zhan had been surprised that the government had just let them go. They were released with strict instructions of course - no more public life of any kind, disappear, never to return. Both Yibo and Xiao Zhan had interpreted that to mean that they probably wouldn’t ever be welcome in Shanghai or Beijing ever again, and so they set about packing up their lives as quickly as they could and they fled. 

They found a small rural community in the Shandong province and retreated. They didn’t work for a few years, really wanting their faces to be forgotten by everyone, so they lived a relatively reclusive lifestyle. Xiao Zhan spent his days painting and experimenting in the kitchen, while Yibo built Lego and tinkered with his motorcycle. They slept a lot, took walks and essentially tried to recover from the trauma of their public lives. Little by little they were able to shake the horrific events they had endured in the name of entertainment. Their parents came to visit occasionally and their friends stopped by sometimes too, but mostly, for the first time ever, Yibo and Xiao Zhan got to live their days in and out with just each other. 

Of course, when they had first left Beijing, they kept looking over their shoulders expecting to see a long range lens attempting to capture their movements, but that never happened. They also lived in fear for a while that the government would change their minds and turn up on their doorstep, demanding their service. But that didn’t happen either. Xiao Zhan did notice though, that the government quickly found someone else to replace them. Another idol couple, far less famous than Xiao Zhan and Yibo were, came out soon after the pair of them had left Beijing. Xiao Zhan could tell from their public activities now that the government had sunk their teeth into them. 

Over time, people forgot who they were and Yibo and Xiao Zhan felt comfortable enough to start returning to society. Xiao Zhan was able to go to the market without people doing a double take in his direction, and they were able to eat at restaurants without anyone following them or trying to take their photo. It was exhilarating and not something Xiao Zhan thought they would ever be able to enjoy again. They had become utterly ordinary, not even a hint of their previous public lives orbited them at all. It had surprised Xiao Zhan to learn just how much he _didn’t_ miss any of it. They didn’t have to answer to anyone, be an example for anyone, and they got to live their lives together, loving each other just like they had always wanted. 

He often found himself reflecting on their previous lives and wondered how the hell they had survived it for so long. He had never gone to war, but that's what every day in the public eye had felt like for him. 

Now that they could venture out into their community a bit more, for months, they discussed what their next move would be. When they finally arrived at their decision, Yibo made the call. Yamaha were thrilled to hear from him. Yibo couldn’t exactly get back on the track and ride for the company, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t train others to be successful racers, like he had once been. While the government hadn’t specifically extended their “no public life” threat to sports as well, they decided not to risk it. So when Yamaha employed Yibo as a coach, they happily packed up their very basic rural lives and moved to Zhuhai. 

Xiao Zhan opened a bakery and they bought a three bedroom cottage that opened out onto a private beach. And their life was pretty great. 

Sure, they still encountered homophobic opposition to their relationship from time to time, but because people didn’t really know who they were now, they tended to just scour at them and show their disapproval of them in more subtle ways. There were definitely no people screaming at them on the street anymore. No one throwing things at them, or trying to hinder their movements. To their community in Zhuhai, they were just that gay couple that lived in that miraculous beach house and kept to themselves. People stayed out of their way and left them to live their lives. 

“Yibo! Where are you?” called Xiao Zhan as he stumbled into the kitchen and threw all the grocery bags on the floor. 

Yibo appeared on the back deck then, with their overly excited doberman in tow. The damn dog followed Yibo everywhere. 

“Sorry, sorry,” replied Yibo quickly. “I was working on the bike, I didn't hear you”. 

Yibo leaned in and kissed his husband on the mouth. 

Xiao Zhan swatted his bum. 

“It’s okay. Help me put all this away though, okay? Everyone is arriving in a few hours and I have to start cooking”. 

Yibo leaned over and started pulling things from the grocery bags. 

“I can’t believe you insisted on cooking the dinner for your own five year wedding anniversary party,” snorted Yibo. “How _very_ Xiao Zhan of you”. 

Xiao Zhan whacked him on the arm. 

“Our friends and families are all traveling a long way to celebrate with us Yibo, they deserve better than store bought food,” retorted Xiao Zhan. 

Yibo smirked at him. “I bet you made dessert already”. 

He nodded. “Liling is bringing it by later when she closes the bakery. I made cheesecake, just like you asked for”. 

Yibo threw his arms around Xiao Zhan’s neck and planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek. 

“I’m so lucky!” he exclaimed playfully. “Zhan-ge is the best husband!”

Xiao Zhan released the grocery bag he had been wrangling and wrapped his arms around Yibo’s waist, pressing their bodies together. He nuzzled his nose into Yibo’s neck and inhaled. Even after all these years, Yibo’s scent was still utterly intoxicating for Xiao Zhan. 

“And don’t you forget it,” he said, as he pressed their lips together.


	16. Author's Note!

Hi everyone!

Firstly, I want to thank all of you for coming on this journey with me. It was quite a ride getting this written and although I wanted to keep writing it forever, I felt like the story had more impact if we wrapped up here. Secondly, I promised some of you that I would share some of the resources that I’ve engaged with lately to keep updated on the current situation for the LGBTQ community in mainland China. 

Like I indicated in the story, it is getting better, but there is still a lot of progress for this community to be made. 

While it has never been confirmed that they are gay, I think about these two boys a lot and what they likely face on a daily basis in the event that they are queer. Its one thing to be gay in China, but its an entirely different thing altogether to be gay AND a public figure. The two literally don’t go together. 

I am hopeful that marriage equality and change for this community is possible in the coming future. I hope that isn’t a naive perspective. LGBTQ rights are human rights and the community in that country deserves to live in happiness and peace, just like everyone else. 

Lastly, the final thing that prompted me to write this story was a Chinese drama I watched recently called We Are All Alone. It's a fictional show but the main character is an idol manager and it takes a deep dive into the toxicity of the Chinese entertainment industry and really shines a light on how harrowing fandom is for these idols. Anyone who follows a Chinese idol should watch this show. I went on a journey of deep self reflection as I watched it. 

Anyway, enough grandstanding on my part. Here are some of the documentaries I’ve watched recently that I enjoyed on the LGBTQ situation in China. As I continue to find more, I’ll happily update this resource over time. 

All In My Family (available on Netflix. If the link doesn’t work, just search for it.)

[ https://www.netflix.com/search?q=All%20In%20My%20Family&jbv=8020866 ](https://www.netflix.com/search?q=All%20In%20My%20Family&jbv=80208662)

China Queer (Zhi Tong Zhi) (available to rent on Amazon Prime)

[ https://www.amazon.com/Queer-China-Tong-English-Subtitled/dp/B003ID7842/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=china+queer&qid=1614976632&sr=8-3 ](https://www.amazon.com/Queer-China-Tong-English-Subtitled/dp/B003ID7842/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=china+queer&qid=1614976632&sr=8-3)

Mama Rainbow

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFaKcCQCxKE&ab_channel=QueerComrades ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFaKcCQCxKE&ab_channel=QueerComrades)

Gay Leap Forward: LGBT in China

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doAh4ZhGhsY&ab_channel=CGTN ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doAh4ZhGhsY&ab_channel=CGTN)

Being Gay In Deeply Conservative China

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoGYl_m5EYw&ab_channel=ABCNewsIn-depth

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on twitter @NikkiIsUntamed


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